up late and in tears

[Guest guest]

Hi Abbi

Sometimes I feel that the pain will lessen but never go away. Somebody asked

" will this ever go away? " I wish it would but given the love in my heart, I

don't think so. I could never not love my mother for being my mother, and at the

same time not like her for being how she is. Strange this illness that we call

BPD, for me it's a sickness of sensibility, I relate to much that you all say,

though I think mine was what is termed a " high fonctioning mother " god how I

hate terms. We never had the shower problem, it was the opposite, had to be

superclean so the neighbours would see what a wonderful mother she was, we were

always well dressed, but only as she thought best, gosh I feel like such a bad

daughter talking bad about her, forgive me, even here it's difficult. Does

anyone else feel that they need to comunicate from a point of compassion, I'm

having a lot of problems venting.

TC