Re: Wishing pain were visable

[Guest guest]

Katrena wrote:

Wouldn't it be eaiser if pain were visable? So people could see what

we feel and go through on a minute by minute basis.

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Yes, Katrena, it would be a whole lot easier if our pain could be seen and

understood better or in many cases, at all. Back when I was driving, I had a

disabled parking permit and one time someone actually had the gall to ask me

why I felt that I had the right to use a handicap space, when I am so

obviously healthy. I lied and said that I have an invisible heart condition.

The

person apologized, but I never felt good about giving that excuse.

Love and gentle hugs,

Debi/So. Cal.-54

[Guest guest]

I agree with you there. Invisible diseases are something people don't

understand because they can't " see " anything.

A few weeks ago, my daughter had a bowling tournament. I have a

handicap tag for my car. So I parked in handicap and as I was getting

out, a gentleman walked up to me and stated " you know that is handicap

don't you " I looked at him and replied yes, I have a handicap tag in my

car. He just said oh and suscipisously walked away. That bothered me.

Such is life I guess. Doesn't mean I like it though.

Katrena wrote:

There is something that has been on my mind for quite a while. There

are times that I wish my pain were visable, much like a broken arm or

leg. People treat you differently when they can see your where you

hurt.

[Guest guest]

Hi Katrena

I totally understand how you feel. Just the other day, I was using one

of Walmart's scooters when this young girl asked her mom, " why is that

young woman using that cart? "

The mother then replied, rather loudly, " Some people are just real

lazy. "

I was so angry, sad, so many emotions ran through me. I don't even

feel like going anywhere anymore. I use a cane most of the time, but

this winter has been particularly hard on me. I have RSD that effects

my left leg and left arm.

I wish the pain was visible, too. I am now even beginning to see that

my teenage sons are embarassed of me and resent my illness for leaving

us in an impoverished state. If only they could see how much I hurt,

besides when I cry.

(PA)

[Guest guest]

That is such a shame that the mother said that to her child. How

frustrating to have to deal with this. I totally understand though. If

I park in a handicap spot and don't have my cane with me (there are days

I try to not use it) then people give me looks. I am sure they are

thinking that I don't need a handicap sticker because they don't see

anything physically wrong with me.

I also had my cane with me the other day when my daughter and I went to

the mall. This woman stared at me and gave me such dirty looks. It

really upset me. I really wish that people would stop judging just

because they don't see anything wrong. Certainly doesn't mean that

there is nothing wrong!

Not too long ago I gave a lecture at a state convention for veterinary

technicians. I was lecturing on dealing with difficult clients. I

started off by saying that what they consider difficult clients isn't

accurate. I was listing reasons why people may come into the clinic and

not be happy, including they may have a disability that you are unaware

of and having a bad day. I then said, I bet you didn't know by looking

at me that I have a disability and when I am in a lot of pain, I am not

that happy of a person either. I could see their jaws drop! I hope

that those 50 people that were there listening to my lecture will

remember that in general, not just at work.

If only more people were educated about pain conditions, they might have

a better understanding. Then again, maybe not. It's hard to understand

exactly what pain someone is feeling unless you go through it.

[Guest guest]

> Katrena wrote:

> Wouldn't it be eaiser if pain were visable? So people could see what

> we feel and go through on a minute by minute basis.

> --------

>

>

Katrena

You are so right. One day I took my x-rays with me which showed

my three level fusion with instrumentation. The screws, rods, and BAK

cages brought it home that I have some problems and they are REAL. I

would like to be able to wear them around my neck for all to see.

I have nurses look at me strange when I say I have a pain level

of 7 or above. Then they take my blood pressure and it is 170/100.

Blood pressure is a real indicator of what is going on inside and how

pain does really effect the body.

I always felt when I was in a fibro flare that I was a procupine

with needles turned inside hurting me. All of us probably have mental

pictures

of what our pain represents. I would love to hear what mental picture

their pain represents.

Bennie

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I totally agree. I wish everyone understood about " hidden " pain conditions.

I have had the same issues as you when out in public being young and having to

use a cane. About half the time I get the mean looks and the other half, I get

people helping me. I know a lot of people don't want to understand pain or

disabilities because it is a scary thing to be " disabled " . It was for me when

my pain and disabilities began for me.

Love,

Becky/SD

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[Guest guest]

I really haven't found that to many people " help " me when I am using my

cane. Actually I get so many people that have walked in to me or not

moved to the side slightly so that I can get through. It amazes me and I

hope that I have never been that way to anyone that has had to use a

cane, walker, wheel chair etc. It's so frustrating to me at times to

have people walk right in front of me, bump me etc. I want to scream

when that happens but can't. I look younger than what I actually am and

since I don't have a cast or anything else that people can actually see,

I feel as though some are giving me looks of disbelief. Wondering why

in the world I would even need the cane. What am I using it for, etc.

The day the man approached me and said " umm miss, that's a handicap

spot " . I wanted to yell. Instead I just replied with " yes I know, I

have a handicap tag in my car " .

Even my family has a hard time understanding fully because they can't

see what's wrong. They see me cry, hear me say ow, moan and groan, wake

up at night, etc. but I don't think they get the full vision of the

intensity and that its constant. Some days being better than others.

This is why I have an informational sheet about fibromyalgia and CRPS

posted on my fridge. It was my way of reminding them what is going on

with me.