Re: lonely

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

I know what you are going thru!! I have had chronic pain for over 14

yrs. I am only 44, I to have family that blames my problems on my meds.

They do not realize what I go thru. I don't hear from any of my family, unless I

call them. Thank you for opening the door for me, to finally say it out loud,

that I am lonely.

Although, I have never been in a relationship like you. I live

alone, I have a few friends, but, none that come over. I don't go, I

don't date. Yes, I do feel that nobody wud want to date someone like

me. But, I have to go on, it's hard, but we can't stop living! right??

If you ever need to talk to someone, there is always someone here for

you. If you care to, you can email me.

I wish you all the best, keep ur chin up! The right person for you,

give yourself time.

God Bless

Barb/SD

> wrote:

> Does anyone else feel unworthy of companionship do to their problems? Thank

you all for yourpast and future posts on living in

" our " world,

[Guest guest]

wrote:

> I have not dated and feel that it would be unfair to date anyone I

> didn't know prior to the accident. Is this rediculous?

Hi

I'm one of the people who re-married long after the pain had become a permanent

part of my life. I met my husband in 1998 and married him in 2000. He never

knew the " old " me, but he likes the me I am now just fine.

When we were first married, he would hover, especially when a migraine hit

hard. I finally got it through his head not to hover. That when I need his

help, I'll ask for it. <grin> It took him awhile to understand why some days I

could do quite a bit and other days, I could do very little. When we make

plans, we always know that there's a chance I won't be able to go at the last

minute.

I think when chronic pain is fairly new to us, we often end up thinking that we

can't possibly be part of the " real world " again. That's not true. Pain or no

pain, there's a world of adventure and love out there, whether we are 18 or 80.

I attended the most wonderful wedding a couple of weeks ago. The groom, who

normally can barely walk because the pain is so severe, danced three dances in a

row with his new bride. He was positively glowing.

It was wonderful. :-)

--

Lyndi

[Guest guest]

> Hi

>

> What you wrote the other day really struck me, hard. Just seeing the word

LONELY, from someone else, crazy as it may seem- made me feel

less lonely. It is hard to put into words.

,

I read your story and feel so bad for you as I only have one son and I lost my

job the same month he graduated. We spent most of his

" college " money for my health.

I did get disability and Social Security the first time. I owe this to me

carefully keeping records, pain diary, and being honest about my mental state

rather than hiding the " I am strong no one needs to know " .

My psychiatrist really helped me because he is a pain psychiatrist and worked

with pain patients for years and an advocate. I don't think my primary care

would commit to paperwork.

My psychiatrist said finding out that you cannot do the things you used to and

have to limit is like a death. My son also went through a depression thinking I

am dying in bed and still has problems accepting my Illinois.

My 88 year old father cannot accept it either, until I showed him my x-ray with

all my fusion hardware and the picture of the car that was totaled.

Fenatyl was really bad on me and we slowly titered me off the mental

drug. Ativan is also a rebound drug that will make you depressed when

you quite it.

I am going to have to quit the Lycria I can tell as I gained 12 pounds and the

edema is bothering my blood pressure.

Finances are the hardest thing and I which I could help you with how to handle.

I felt so guilty not being " healthy " for my elderly Dad

and my son but I realized I have to take care of myself.

I actually thought I am more worth dead than alive. I thought WOW my life

insurance could pay for my sons college and help out instead of my being a

burden.

I had to self talk myself that I cannot get that deep in depression,

also I was not being honest with my psychiatrist I was thinking this

and was saying I was fine, I was not. I found journaling to help.

All I know, is we are hear for you, and I hope that Social Security and your

disability comes through. Be sure to include the mental stress on your Social

Security forms.

I am sorry I am ranting, I hate to see anyone in pain done wrong. I

will be thinking of you and praying that good things start coming your

way.

Bennie