Re: She is making me CRAAAAZY

[Guest guest]

wow. Is there any chance you can have her e-mail you so you don't have

to hear her voice? I much prefer e-mail to the phone, plus then

everything is in writing. Talking to someone on the phone is so

intimate it's like they are there in the room almost, which would

grate on me if I was you as well. The other two folks have given great

advice so, I just want to say you have my empathy.

[Guest guest]

You are 100% right. The " I know she won't go for it " comment was

meaning that I know she won't agree, so I see no reason to talk to

her about it, it will just be a waste of my time and another

opportunity for her to play the victim. I just don't know how to get

her to leave us alone, at least for awhile until the larger issue (my

sister and her divorce) has calmed down/finished.

>

> I know she won't go for it

> >>>>>>>>>>>>>

> So What? It is not her call, it is yours. You are the mother and

you set the boy's schedule. She either gets with the program or she

gets left in the dust. I don't think you need to do a thing with

respect to explaining the situation to her. She will get the message

sooner or later. Keep the relationship between her and your son at LC

and ALWAYS supervised. Do not let her do to him what she did to you.

When he is old enough he will understand why you had to do what you

had to do to keep him safe. As for her, she has had her life, if she

has screwed it up that is her problem. She does not get to carry this

BS over into another generation. This shit stops with us.

> Be strong

>

>

>

> She is making me CRAAAAZY

>

>

> If I get one more call from that woman, using a baby talk voice,

> leaving messages for my son, I will explode. I don't know how to

make

> it more clear to her that she is not going to be in his life until

she

> stops undermining me, stops talking to him like he's an adult, and

> stops putting guilt trips on him. And I'm not playing the dang

> messages for him, so STOP IT. ARGH!!!!!

>

> What do I do? Do I send a letter? And if so, what should it say? I

> am willing to meet up for dinner or something so she can see him,

but I

> won't let her have unsupervised access. I know she won't go for

> it...and really I don't even WANT to do that much, I just feel like

I

> SHOULD. I want to move far, far away. If it wouldn't disrupt my son

> (and his relationship with his dad) I would be out of this town.

>

>

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[Guest guest]

I could ask her to email instead of call, but she would say I was

being " controlling " and that I can't tell her what to do. Also, her

computer is not working (its been over 6 months now) and she won't take

it in to get it fixed or call anyone to come look at it. She is being

stubborn because she wanted ME to come try to fix it and then take it

to the repair shop when I discovered I couldn't figure it out. I gave

her the name, phone number, address, even hand wrote directions to the

shop...she chooses not to take it and I refused to do it for her, she's

perfectly capable. I have ALWAYS (along with sis) been the person who

had to take care of her and her crises (real or created), and she needs

to grow up. Ack, now I'm on a tangent. Sorry, I am just frustrated.

I have taken my home phone off the hook and turned the cell to silent

so I can have some peace, but I'm still rattled. She goes to Kinkos

once a week or so to check email, so I will probably send her one

explaining that we are looking for NC right now and I want her to

respect that.

Anyway, yes, it would be lovely if she'd stop calling, but since when

do our BPs care about what WE want or need? She won't stop, and

history tells me that if I ask her to it'll just escalate.

>

> wow. Is there any chance you can have her e-mail you so you don't

have

> to hear her voice? I much prefer e-mail to the phone, plus then

> everything is in writing. Talking to someone on the phone is so

> intimate it's like they are there in the room almost, which would

> grate on me if I was you as well. The other two folks have given

great

> advice so, I just want to say you have my empathy.

>