Troll legs

[Guest guest]

Honey it is a really big deal. Keep working on it and let the hag stew in her

own jealous juices.

Re: Troll legs

i am so glad my dad was around because he thinks the stuff i do (art,

music, animation) is like the best thing EVAR! it gets ridiculous

sometimes. he's SOO enthusiastic! mom would be really weird about

my art. she got her feelings hurt because i never drew a picture of

her. i was like, wtf. i didn't use her as a model, so she gets all

mopey, then pissed. WHATEVER! i stopped trusting her and her

opinions of things when i was 11, so i mainly listened to my art,

guitar, and technical theatre teachers for constructive criticism.

the stock response to any criticism she gave me was, " who asked

you? " yes, this caused a lot of fights, but i don't care. i'd

rather fight than have her tell me i sucked at something i know i

don't suck at. she would get me to play guitar and sing in front of

her friends and then she would tell me i was doing it wrong. i would

just hand her the guitar and tell her to do it, then walk away. the

thing that really really really pissed me off is that she would show

my art journals to people when i was at my dad's, so i ended up

having to cart them with me everywhere i went (3 bound journals, two

of which were 14x11 inches). she used me to brag, but she was

completely unsupportive when i was around. grrr....

now when i show her stuff, she just acts completely disinterested.

like, " oh...no, i'm paying attention. yeah that was alright...i

guess. " or just, " okay, good. " it's like, MOM! I JUST PLAYED A

FRIGGIN SHOW AT THE ENGINE ROOM AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN INTERESTED!? !??!

I JUST GOT A PIECE OF ART IN THE CONTEMPORARY ARTS MUSEUM!!! THIS IS

A BIG DEAL!!! I SPENT 16 WEEKS ON THIS ANIMATION AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN

WATCHING IT!!!

at least my artist friends (i was raised by hippies...most of my

friends are in their 50's and i'm 26) and teachers are very proud and

happy for me. i'm going to have some animation in an opening in a

few weeks...i'm probably not even going to mention it to mom.

the worst thing about this is that i feel like what i've done isn't

really a big deal...but when you put it all on paper, it IS A BIG

DEAL! i'm like...GOOD AT THIS STUFF! i draw pictures for my kids at

school and they want me to teach them how to draw. and when i played

my cd for them, i was promoted from alright teacher to cool rocker

chick teacher.

GAH!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO LACKING IN SELF CONFIDENCE!? ??!??! SO

FRUSTRATING! !!

bink

> >

> > Hi

> > Mine said " you dance like your father, you have 2 left feet "

dancing was

> > what I loved the most, with music, I broke my foot in a dancing

class,

> > related???

> > TC

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Wow, bink, I am really impressed, those are some amazing

accomplishments. It seems to me sometimes that my chores as a child of

a bpd are a) find people who are positive and supporting and

validating of me allow them to be that way and not freak out

because it feels so weird, and c) not do anything to destroy the

relationship with them. A therapist told me almost 20 years ago that

there were good supportive people out there but that " it's up to you

to find them " . Back then I still felt culpable and undeserving, plus I

didn't know how to 'give' to a relationship and build one because I

was always being pushed away into my little hole, my role as

the 'black sheep' of the family that can never do anything right. I

know this is the key to my having a functional life, now; finding

positive supportive people and ending relationships with people who

are negative and damaging. (((((hugs))))

[Guest guest]

that was one good thing about growing up around a bunch of hippies:

you are raised by a village whether you like it or not. lots of

humans to dilute bpd craziness.

bink

>

> Wow, bink, I am really impressed, those are some amazing

> accomplishments. It seems to me sometimes that my chores as a child

of

> a bpd are a) find people who are positive and supporting and

> validating of me allow them to be that way and not freak out

> because it feels so weird, and c) not do anything to destroy the

> relationship with them. A therapist told me almost 20 years ago

that

> there were good supportive people out there but that " it's up to

you

> to find them " . Back then I still felt culpable and undeserving,

plus I

> didn't know how to 'give' to a relationship and build one because I

> was always being pushed away into my little hole, my role as

> the 'black sheep' of the family that can never do anything right. I

> know this is the key to my having a functional life, now; finding

> positive supportive people and ending relationships with people who

> are negative and damaging. (((((hugs))))

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Bink

This self confidence thing is part and parcel I feel

My question is this, how many artists are teaching? Is this to do with lacking

self confidence? So many mails are talking about creativity then switch to

students, (my own fears here)

From what you've said about your accomplishments I personally would like to say

YYYEEESSS CONGRADULATIONS, I LOVE to hear about your successes.

Wopping big hug

TC