Re: Folding towels & other household chore

[Guest guest]

I am not sure why I am opening up so lately about my nada, but I am so grateful

you are all here and I can post.

My nada too had a way to make the bed. I was around 5 or 6 years old and in her

eyes I was old enough to make my own bed. I can recall making my bed and she

came into check it and it was not made up to her expections. She stripped my bed

down to the mattress and told me to do it again until I get it right. Of course

I did and I got it right. She told me years later it was to teach me how to do

it the right way, but it was just her way and a way to control.

This was just a really bad time for nada...she was extremely angry. My father

was never around, so she and I were together all the time.

She also showed me at the age of 5 or 6 how to clean the bathroom. She never

really showed me, she told...Again I didn't do it right and I had to do it over

until I got it right. It was like a scene from Mommy Dearest....scrubbing that

bathroom until I did it perfectly.

To this day I an excellent cleaner.

She was so mean....and since my father wasn't around, she took out her

frustrations on me.

I know I don't live in her house anymore....I know I am free, and an adult, yet

this recovery from the abuse is still so real.

Thanks for listening,

Malinda

To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: girlscout.cowboy@...: Wed,

23 Apr 2008 07:59:26 -0600Subject: Re: Re: Folding towels &

other household chore

Freaky story, you know my nada was a hoarder and she loved to go to thriftstores

and load her car up with old junk, including old sheets. It seems tome that

sheets, towels, socks and underwear are the kinds of things youshould buy new,

but then I'm not BPD.Anyway, your story reminded me that the sheets she would

get were covered incrazy patterns and very busy, with scary cartoons all over

them and amillion colors. I am one of those " Highly Sensative People " and the

sheetsactually caused me nightmares as well as disturbing dreams. I told her,

butNada didn't care and the sheets and the nightmares both stayed put.On

4/23/08, jjfan42 wrote:>> Your story about the towels

reminds me of a bed making story. We had> just moved into our " new " house (new

to us anyway) and my Grandmother> (Nada's much despised Mother-in-Law) had come

over to help. She was> assisting me in making the beds. Nada always made the bed

with the> sheet patterns facing up. Grandma made the bed with the sheet

patterns> facing down so that when you fold the sheet over top the blanket, you>

can see the pattern. Nada went nuts when she turned down the bed the> first

time...>> Nada: " WHO made the bed THIS WAY! " (Rhetorical question...she knew

who> made the beds.)> Me: " Grandma helped me. " > Nada: " WHY are the SHEETS the

WRONG WAY. " > Me: " Grandma showed me that the pattern would be showing this

way. " > Nada: " Did you tell her that we do NOT make the bed this way at OUR>

house. " > Me: " I told her we usually do it differently. " > Nada: " Then WHY did she

do it THIS WAY? Who is SHE to tell YOU how WE> make OUR BEDS! This is MY HOUSE!

SHE should have made the bed MY> WAY! " > Me thinking: " Can we all just go to

friggin bed! I can sleep no> matter which way the d*mn sheets are on the bed. " >>

But CLEARLY, I should have known, the bed making was a personal affront> to

Nada's authority and was an intentionally vicious attack of the> worst sort! It

was just another way in which grandma oppressed Nada.> Of course, we had to

strip all the beds before we could sleep in them,> because surely the sheets

would have caused nightmares...that is if> Nada's tirade hadn't already.

Geez...talk about a big pile of who> cares!>> > >> > They she proceeded to

SHOW ME HOW TO FOLD THEM TO " e's " . I had to> > DEMONSTRATE MY NEWFOUND KNOWLEDGE

AND WISDOM. In fear for my sanity> > I did. But I didn't apologize. She denies

that this ever happened.> >> > Now, what I want to know, almost 20 years later,

is who does this?> > It's in the big pile of 'who cares' and 'they're clean' (or

were> > until she threw them on the floor... but that little fact seems to> >

have escaped her attention). They were folded to " e's " , and she> > had her

way.> >>> >

[Guest guest]

i have a similar, yet different experience with cleaning. my mom

would tell me to do something and i wouldn't do it quite right. never

mind the fact that i'm a kid and taking care of her two other

daughters (something i never really got any credit for, either). when

it came to cleaning, i could never, ever do it right. she would get

really mad if something wasn't done the way she wanted and she would

scream about how i would half-ass everything because i don't care

about anybody but myself and she would tell me to do it again, but i

just stopped working. i stopped doing everything. when i got home, i

was practically catatonic. she could scream and hit me all she wanted

and i really didn't do anything. that was really a sucky time in my life.

i was of the opinion that if i was going to get punished for

something, i might as well deserve it. i pretty much shut down

between the ages of 11 and 19 and if feels like these shut off parts

are just now coming back on line. i wasn't doing any of that cleaning

until i got it " right " because i knew IT WOULD NEVER BE RIGHT!!! i

was going to be yelled at whether or not i was perfect.

bink

> >> > They she

proceeded to SHOW ME HOW TO FOLD THEM TO " e's " . I had to> >

DEMONSTRATE MY NEWFOUND KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM. In fear for my sanity> >

I did. But I didn't apologize. She denies that this ever happened.> >>

> Now, what I want to know, almost 20 years later, is who does this?>

> It's in the big pile of 'who cares' and 'they're clean' (or were> >

until she threw them on the floor... but that little fact seems to> >

have escaped her attention). They were folded to " e's " , and she> >

had her way.> >>> >