Sandwiched In

[Guest guest]

My mother keeps telling me (while in the middle of her current crisis)

" Oh, that's the same thing that my mother and father used to tell

me. "

Yesterday, it was over her being upset because one of her lady

friends wanted to eat out someplace different than she likes (of

course what an insult that someone has their own opinion.

Then, it was over her making up stories to impress people and trying

to get me to impress them also. I finally said, " Look, you can

dress at Dillards, you can get your hair professionally done every

other day, you can drive a big fancy car and you know what?

Somebody's not gonna be pleased with you. You can't live to please

everyone else. Because, they won't be pleased. Someone will find

some reason to criticize. That's how people are. " People are often

judgmental and rude, and often busy exalting themselves above others.

She said, " Oh, that's the same thing my parents told me. And they

said that you should live to please yourself. " And at that moment I

thought that's right...I'm the parent here. Not you. I find it

interesting that she has now been parented from both sides... the

previous generation and the generation after her. Like a giant

sandwich. Where she is the meat sitting there soaking up all the

life out of the bread. She has been nicely sandwiched in and

parented from all sides.

Where's my parent? I ask. I feel like I've been sandwiched in by

crazies my whole life causing chaos in all of my memories. From my

severely BPD parents to my BPD x husband. It seems that some of us

get all the parenting and others of us do all of the work.