When do You Stop Grieving for Your Nada?

[Guest guest]

My nada doesn't bother me as much now that I told her I was keeping a distance

from her.

She sent me a response letter putting all the problems I had with her on me and

then

continued to add on a few more to the list. Anyway, since then she has been less

intrusive

and has kept a distance from me. On holidays we just make small talk and it's

actually more

bearable for me now.

But for some reason the stuff that happened between us from since I can remember

until I

left home has haunted me and still does. I feel anxious quite often. Its seems

to be ingrained

in my personality. I also feel this weight when I think of her and my brother

who is

schizophrenic.

I know that growing up with mental illness in your family is tough but when does

it stop

getting the best of you? I'm still trying to move on and have a good life for

myself but even

as I am far from home, I can't seem to shake the grief. I know it's part of

healing but when

does it stop? Can I choose to stop? How do I know if I am grieving or sulking?

What has been your experience with this?