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So my Nada used to throw herself birthday parties. She would buy

herself a cake, buy herself gifts and then wrap them and address them

from us. Then she would open them and say " This one is from you... oh!

I love it! Thank you sweetie! " and act surprised. It was definatly one

of those moments when we knew something was wrong with her. Then she

would have us all sing.

It was really REALLY sad. And weird. What is really sad is that if she

didn't do the self thrown party, we probably wouldnt have done anything

for her. I know it sounds mean but everybody was always just so sick of

her, we didnt really consider celebrating her birthday or mothers day.

Any ideas about why someone would do something so weird? Wha's that

about? How does that fit in with BPD?

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My nada didn't do that, but last Christmas she decreed since the

entire family was going on a cruise together (which meant my sister,

her hubby, her oldest daughter and spouse and youngest daughter, and

my sister's stepmother in law and half-sister in law, and nada) that

we would agree not to buy each other Christmas gifts. Even though I

chose not to go, I went along with the no gifts rule.

So Christmas Day comes, and nada calls me from my sister's house,

hysterical. It seems no one bought nada a gift and she didn't buy

them gifts, but they bought each other gifts. Nada felt neglected.

When they repeated back to her that she had agreed not to give gifts

and they agreed not to as well, they clarified that they hadn't

promised EACH OTHER not to do gifts - just nada.

She's still kvetching about how she felt like a " n-word " (this is a

WHITE woman!) and how they would all be sorry. By the way this

happened a month or so after she removed me as executrix of her will

and made my sister the executrix. She's still talking about leaving

it all to a total stranger.

Why is it when you give a BP what they've asked for, it's still not

good enough?

>

> So my Nada used to throw herself birthday parties. She would buy

> herself a cake, buy herself gifts and then wrap them and address

them

> from us. Then she would open them and say " This one is from you...

oh!

> I love it! Thank you sweetie! " and act surprised. It was definatly

one

> of those moments when we knew something was wrong with her. Then

she

> would have us all sing.

>

> It was really REALLY sad. And weird. What is really sad is that if

she

> didn't do the self thrown party, we probably wouldnt have done

anything

> for her. I know it sounds mean but everybody was always just so

sick of

> her, we didnt really consider celebrating her birthday or mothers

day.

>

> Any ideas about why someone would do something so weird? Wha's that

> about? How does that fit in with BPD?

>

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---

This reminds me of my nada's rantings, growing up, which would start

several days prior to Mother's Day and her bday, about how we'd

BETTER not get her a gift, AFTER the WAY WE TREATED HER. This was so

cruel. She really is such an evil bitch. You know how little girls

want to give their mother a card or a gift? I cannot in a million

years imagine depriving my little girl of this joy.

Now, my solution to Mother's Day and her bday is to send flowers.

That way, when anyone comes in, there they are, proof that her

daughters are caring. I do not call. I refuse to talk to her on the

phone. I can't listen to the complaining or the raging.

Joanna

In WTOAdultChildren1 , " Doc "

wrote:

>

> My nada didn't do that, but last Christmas she decreed since the

> entire family was going on a cruise together (which meant my

sister,

> her hubby, her oldest daughter and spouse and youngest daughter,

and

> my sister's stepmother in law and half-sister in law, and nada)

that

> we would agree not to buy each other Christmas gifts. Even though I

> chose not to go, I went along with the no gifts rule.

>

> So Christmas Day comes, and nada calls me from my sister's house,

> hysterical. It seems no one bought nada a gift and she didn't buy

> them gifts, but they bought each other gifts. Nada felt neglected.

> When they repeated back to her that she had agreed not to give

gifts

> and they agreed not to as well, they clarified that they hadn't

> promised EACH OTHER not to do gifts - just nada.

>

> She's still kvetching about how she felt like a " n-word " (this is a

> WHITE woman!) and how they would all be sorry. By the way this

> happened a month or so after she removed me as executrix of her

will

> and made my sister the executrix. She's still talking about leaving

> it all to a total stranger.

>

> Why is it when you give a BP what they've asked for, it's still not

> good enough?

>

>

>

>

> >

> > So my Nada used to throw herself birthday parties. She would buy

> > herself a cake, buy herself gifts and then wrap them and address

> them

> > from us. Then she would open them and say " This one is from

you...

> oh!

> > I love it! Thank you sweetie! " and act surprised. It was

definatly

> one

> > of those moments when we knew something was wrong with her. Then

> she

> > would have us all sing.

> >

> > It was really REALLY sad. And weird. What is really sad is that

if

> she

> > didn't do the self thrown party, we probably wouldnt have done

> anything

> > for her. I know it sounds mean but everybody was always just so

> sick of

> > her, we didnt really consider celebrating her birthday or mothers

> day.

> >

> > Any ideas about why someone would do something so weird? Wha's

that

> > about? How does that fit in with BPD?

> >

>

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