To Carol/ Not a topic for everyone to read

[Guest guest]

Carol, dear,

I can't express how very saddened I am to hear of that. Coping comes

in baby steps; small increments of understanding what you're up

against and figuring out how to work with that. Re-think and adjust,

adjust, adjust. Find a way to wrap your brain around it as best you

can. Share this info with anyone with whom you are intimate; it's

very likely they will pick up on vibes from you that they could

interpret personally. When we try to cover up such raw emotions, we

oftentimes smother other emotions that we believe we are conveying to

our dear ones. The rejection we sometimes feel for ourselves can be

interpreted as rejection of those we care about. All this can take

place with such subtlety that we may not be aware of what's taking

place. Just food for thought, Carol.

As for my own personal style of coping, it doesn't work for

everyone but it's best for me. I allowed myself to be controlled by

my disabilities for a time, when I suddenly struck upon the thought

that I was allowing that 300lb thug to continually control me, rob me

of my joy. He had not only beaten me down for one day, but I allowed

him to beat me down for the rest of my life! Well, I wouldn't

tolerate that! I stopped moping around and took action.

I made a list of every activity I believed was no longer open to

me anymore, then set out to disprove it. Can't travel alone with a

scooter and white cane: got myself a bus ticket, then train ticket,

and off Harley and I went. I ended up in some of the places I had

intended to go, and some I had no inkling of how in the world I got

there. Instead of crying about where I should be, I decided to

explore wherever it was I landed, try restaurants, explore.

I've rambled on far too long, and I apologize for that. But keep

in mind, We Are Our Own Party Just Waiting To Happen. So make it

happen if you possibly can, Carol, dear. Lotsa huggies, Reta

-- Carol Riley wrote:

>

How do you cope with the

aftermath.