Went to a Thing with Nada

[Guest guest]

I made the mistake yesterday of going to a women's church group with

Nada. She couldn't resist criticizing me in front of the other ladies.

Whenever someone said something nice to me, she'd reply with some

criticism. One of the ladies was walking behind us and said to

me, " Your hair is just so beautiful! " Of course, HAIR is a big common

Nada weird problem. So, she starts to touch my hair and sais, " Well,

it looks alright sometimes. She's going to do something with it one

day. " Then, she sais, " It looks alright in the front. But, looks

like such a stringy mess in the back. " She was still touching my hair

at this point. I had enough right then, while walking toward the

church. I should have turned around and said " that's enough. " And gone

home. But, instead I just stood there feeling humiliated.

She continued her assasination over different things as the evening

progressed. She was also acting like I was not talking correctly to

the other people. She'd nudge me about what to say. Like some freak

drama coach, she kept on and on. " She's talking to you " she'd say

before I had time to answer the person. I found myself in tears for a

second and went to the bathroom.

I stayed away from her for most of the evening. It was just too

unbearable. Yet, I realized that despite her rudeness, I took her

icecream and several niceties. I showed her I was a nice person. Was

I purposely doing it? Hopeing for something in return? She wouldn't

ever find what I did enough. Now I remember why I refuse to go to

church with her. Though, she constantly reminds me that mothers have

these " dreams " of going to church with their daughters...together.

Seems to me that she has some responsibilty to act decently if that's

what she wants.

I noticed that at the same time she was demeaning me, she was

apologizing for herself. She had some paint on her fingers. Instead

of washing it off before coming, she spent ten minutes apologizing

that it was there at all and explaining it away.

Then, this girl from the church, whom I had known was being rude to me

too. And that just made me so frustrated. So, I was dealing with two

idiots. I was standing by her asking her how she was doing and etc.

And she starts saying to me " why don't you go get some punch, "

and " why don't you go do that, Why don't you go help stuff those toys "

like she's purposely trying to get rid of me. But, I didn't budge from

the chair that I was sitting in. I have every right to be there as

well as anyone else. She'd been talking about sneaking out early. So,

I replied, " weren't you going to leave? " She looked a little

taken back. Then, she left.

[Guest guest]

Dino, Beautiful words. You had me crying...but in a needed way.

Thank you.

> >

> > It's simply called jealosy. My mother, too, has this problem and

> sometimes even admits that she is full of envy of people, when she

> thinks they are better than her. It's like an inner poison eating

> her up, that someone else gets complimented--over her.

> > Went to a Thing with Nada

> >

> >

> >

> > I made the mistake yesterday of going to a women's church group

> with

> > Nada. She couldn't resist criticizing me in front of the other

> ladies.

> >

> > Whenever someone said something nice to me, she'd reply with some

> > criticism. One of the ladies was walking behind us and said to

> > me, " Your hair is just so beautiful! " Of course, HAIR is a big

> common

> > Nada weird problem. So, she starts to touch my hair and

> sais, " Well,

> > it looks alright sometimes. She's going to do something with it

one

> > day. " Then, she sais, " It looks alright in the front. But, looks

> > like such a stringy mess in the back. " She was still touching my

> hair

> > at this point. I had enough right then, while walking toward the

> > church. I should have turned around and said " that's enough. " And

> gone

> > home. But, instead I just stood there feeling humiliated.

> >

> > She continued her assasination over different things as the

evening

> > progressed. She was also acting like I was not talking correctly

to

> > the other people. She'd nudge me about what to say. Like some

freak

> > drama coach, she kept on and on. " She's talking to you " she'd say

> > before I had time to answer the person. I found myself in tears

for

> a

> > second and went to the bathroom.

> >

> > I stayed away from her for most of the evening. It was just too

> > unbearable. Yet, I realized that despite her rudeness, I took her

> > icecream and several niceties. I showed her I was a nice person.

> Was

> > I purposely doing it? Hopeing for something in return? She

wouldn't

> > ever find what I did enough. Now I remember why I refuse to go to

> > church with her. Though, she constantly reminds me that mothers

> have

> > these " dreams " of going to church with their

daughters...together.

> > Seems to me that she has some responsibilty to act decently if

> that's

> > what she wants.

> >

> > I noticed that at the same time she was demeaning me, she was

> > apologizing for herself. She had some paint on her fingers.

Instead

> > of washing it off before coming, she spent ten minutes

apologizing

> > that it was there at all and explaining it away.

> >

> > Then, this girl from the church, whom I had known was being rude

to

> me

> > too. And that just made me so frustrated. So, I was dealing with

> two

> > idiots. I was standing by her asking her how she was doing and

etc.

> > And she starts saying to me " why don't you go get some punch, "

> > and " why don't you go do that, Why don't you go help stuff those

> toys "

> > like she's purposely trying to get rid of me. But, I didn't budge

> from

> > the chair that I was sitting in. I have every right to be there

as

> > well as anyone else. She'd been talking about sneaking out early.

> So,

> > I replied, " weren't you going to leave? " She looked a little

> > taken back. Then, she left.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for your words of wisdom. You've each helped me to put

this in greater perspective. Life is so hard sometimes. Harder

without supportive friends. Thank you.

>

> I made the mistake yesterday of going to a women's church group

with

> Nada. She couldn't resist criticizing me in front of the other

ladies.

>

> Whenever someone said something nice to me, she'd reply with some

> criticism. One of the ladies was walking behind us and said to

> me, " Your hair is just so beautiful! " Of course, HAIR is a big

common

> Nada weird problem. So, she starts to touch my hair and

sais, " Well,

> it looks alright sometimes. She's going to do something with it

one

> day. " Then, she sais, " It looks alright in the front. But, looks

> like such a stringy mess in the back. " She was still touching my

hair

> at this point. I had enough right then, while walking toward the

> church. I should have turned around and said " that's enough. " And

gone

> home. But, instead I just stood there feeling humiliated.

>

> She continued her assasination over different things as the evening

> progressed. She was also acting like I was not talking correctly

to

> the other people. She'd nudge me about what to say. Like some

freak

> drama coach, she kept on and on. " She's talking to you " she'd say

> before I had time to answer the person. I found myself in tears

for a

> second and went to the bathroom.

>

> I stayed away from her for most of the evening. It was just too

> unbearable. Yet, I realized that despite her rudeness, I took her

> icecream and several niceties. I showed her I was a nice person.

Was

> I purposely doing it? Hopeing for something in return? She

wouldn't

> ever find what I did enough. Now I remember why I refuse to go to

> church with her. Though, she constantly reminds me that mothers

have

> these " dreams " of going to church with their daughters...together.

> Seems to me that she has some responsibilty to act decently if

that's

> what she wants.

>

> I noticed that at the same time she was demeaning me, she was

> apologizing for herself. She had some paint on her fingers.

Instead

> of washing it off before coming, she spent ten minutes apologizing

> that it was there at all and explaining it away.

>

> Then, this girl from the church, whom I had known was being rude to

me

> too. And that just made me so frustrated. So, I was dealing with

two

> idiots. I was standing by her asking her how she was doing and

etc.

> And she starts saying to me " why don't you go get some punch, "

> and " why don't you go do that, Why don't you go help stuff those

toys "

> like she's purposely trying to get rid of me. But, I didn't budge

from

> the chair that I was sitting in. I have every right to be there as

> well as anyone else. She'd been talking about sneaking out early.

So,

> I replied, " weren't you going to leave? " She looked a little

> taken back. Then, she left.

>