Guest guest Posted January 1, 2008 Report Share Posted January 1, 2008 thank you elle, what a wonderful thought to start the new year with! I knew I loved Pooh for good reason! L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 1, 2008 Report Share Posted January 1, 2008 Awww Elle Thanks for sharing that so true! > > I've been reading all of your posts and it pains my heart to see > obviously caring and good people in so much turmoil--wondering if you > are being overly-critical, second-guessing your responses to your NADAs > and FADAs... It's natural to want to study and investigate, analyze > WHY these people drive us to this point when they are our " parents " and > are supposed to love us... We shouldn't have to think so hard about > whether to love them, forgive them, say " I love you " to them, share our > life with them. If they deserved it, we'd JUST DO IT NATURALLY. > > Sometimes when I can't make sense of how I'm supposed to feel, I > remember a greeting card that had Winnie the Pooh and Piglet together. > I'm hoping this has meaning for you as it has had for me. Piglet had > asked Pooh how to spell the word " love. " Pooh's response: " You don't > need to spell it. You just feel it. " > Elle > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 1, 2008 Report Share Posted January 1, 2008 , I think maybe if you reread this part of Elle's post it might make more sense to you. " If they deserved it, we'd JUST DO IT NATURALLY " Now reverse the inflection. " IF THEY DESERVED IT, we'd just do it naturally. " I think maybe you were reading Elle's post through a little FOG. Elle was making the same point you make in your response. Carla PS you are getting extras added to your posts...not sure what browser you are using but I know that Firefox was NOT a good browser for Yahoo. I have MAC and Safari works better. If you have PC then maybe ask others what they use. > >  Elle,   I don't understand the point your are trying to > make.  We all try to LOVE NATURALLY, but in the end no > matter what we do we end up getting hurt through abuse in > one form or another.  This is why we are encouraged to go > No Contact. >  We are  caring and good people and are in so much turmoil > because the response in return is NOT NORMAL and at times > ABUSIVE. .  We are to be loved unconditionally, but AREN'T. > We are NOT overly-critical as you put it for we are just > trying to make sense of NOT NORMAL behavior and learning > from others that we are NOT alone. > LOVE is a behavior- I was once told.  Doesn't one think > that loving oneself first is required before loving another. >  Hence, removing ourselves from abuse or trying to make > sense of why we treated the way we are treated from our > NADAs and FADAs is the first step.  By doing so, we can > learn to loves ourselves and then build healthy > relationships so that we can LOVE NATURALLY as you put it. >   >  JUST DO IT NATURALLY don't WORK for those with BPD. >  Please clarify your point. Many of other are quite > interested. > > > > > > ________________________________________ > Posted through Grouply, the better way to access your Yahoo Groups like this one. Check out Grouply at: http://www.grouply.com/?code=post > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2008 Report Share Posted January 2, 2008 Me, too! I just cringe when she hints that I'll miss her when she's gone. That somehow I'll be filled with regret when she's gone, yet we're not close, and she doesn't do anything to be in a relationship with me. She wants all of the benefits of a close relationship, while doing NONE of what it takes to build one! In fact, she detracts from building closeness. And I've always felt guilty for not feeling closer to her. For most of my life, I always thought my dad and I were close -- now that illusion is gone, too. -Kyla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2008 Report Share Posted January 2, 2008 Carla, Thank you for attempting to explain this to . You are 100% right in that read my words backwards and took from them, the opposite of what was intended. In my Pooh post, I am agreeing with the concept that loving BPDs does NOT come naturally. Love doesn't need analysis--you just FEEL it IF it's there-- if a parent deserves it. BPD parents don't fall into this category, obviously. For the rest of you, thank you for understanding my words and your responses and appreciation. Pooh really is a smart guy. Wink. Elle > > > >  Elle,   I don't understand the point your are trying to > > make.  We all try to LOVE NATURALLY, but in the end no > > matter what we do we end up getting hurt through abuse in > > one form or another.  This is why we are encouraged to go > > No Contact. > >  We are  caring and good people and are in so much turmoil > > because the response in return is NOT NORMAL and at times > > ABUSIVE. .  We are to be loved unconditionally, but AREN'T. > > We are NOT overly-critical as you put it for we are just > > trying to make sense of NOT NORMAL behavior and learning > > from others that we are NOT alone. > > LOVE is a behavior- I was once told.  Doesn't one think > > that loving oneself first is required before loving another. > >  Hence, removing ourselves from abuse or trying to make > > sense of why we treated the way we are treated from our > > NADAs and FADAs is the first step.  By doing so, we can > > learn to loves ourselves and then build healthy > > relationships so that we can LOVE NATURALLY as you put it. > >   > >  JUST DO IT NATURALLY don't WORK for those with BPD. > >  Please clarify your point. Many of other are quite > > interested. > > > > > > > > > > > > ________________________________________ > > Posted through Grouply, the better way to access your Yahoo Groups like this one. > Check out Grouply at: http://www.grouply.com/?code=post > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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