Re: Thanks for letting me know...

[Guest guest]

The first normal emergency room visit for me came when I was 44 and

sliced my finger to the bone with a bread knife. Nada was 1500 miles

away. I had my husband help me put a bra on (God forbid I have an

emergency while not wearing proper undergarments LOL) and we got in a

cab (the cabdriver apparently didn't notice the blood everywhere) and

went to the emergency room. Without histrionics or nada getting a

migraine and having her very own starring role in the drama. My

husband sat with me while the medic gave me a very painful lidocaine

shot, washed out the wound and put in 7 stitches. No one cried or

yelled or had any drama.

In fact, the medic kept asking me if I was ok, because I was being so

quiet. He said it wasn't normal for someone who was cut as bad as me

not to be crying or making some kind of noise. It was at that moment

I realized that because of the nada emergency room dramas of my past,

I'd learned to just be quiet and not add to it with expressing any of

my own pain.

Isn't that sick? I couldn't even respond to horrific pain like a

normal person. I actually was enjoying a quiet emergency room. My

hubby was just holding my hand and attending to me. I felt like I

should be taking care of him. And I'm the one with the bloody hand

and bloodstained clothes. THAT's the kind of weirdness nada instilled

in me. I couldn't even react to pain normally.

But after that whole incident, I finally came to the realization like

you did, GS, that nada is the last person I'd want with me in an

emergency. If an emergency room visit could be enjoyable, the one

without her certainly was.

> > >

> > > I went to the dentist yesterday. [No cavities, yea!] As I walked

> > up

> > > to the window the receptionist [whom I've known for several

years]

> > > says, " Oh! I need to get your new number! " I moved out of Nada's

> > > house in March of this year so I assumed that Nada informed the

> > > receptionist [Kim] I no longer lived there. I was called up

> > quickly

> > > and Kim assured me that we could get everything straight when I

> > was

> > > ready to leave.

> > >

> > > On my way out, I stopped to make my next appointment and give

her

> > my

> > > new info. The conversation went like this: [Me] " Okay, did Mom

> > tell

> > > you that I'd moved? " [Kim] " Uhm... well we called and the number

> > had

> > > been disconnected. " [Me, confused] " Really? That's odd. Hmmm,

> > well

> > > gee... " [Kim, obviously feeling badly] " Well honey, let's just

get

> > > your new number and not worry about it, maybe we misdialed. "

> > >

> > > But it was pretty obvious they'd tried the number several times.

> > I

> > > was so embarrassed. Whose mother changes her number and doesn't

> > let

> > > their daughter know? Especially when she lives in the same town.

> > > [Especially when she's listed as my emergency contact for

> > EVERYTHING

> > > and she knows it]

> > >

> > > So I sent my little brother a text, knowing he'd be at work but

> > also

> > > knowing he was the last to speak with her. [Me] " Did Mom change

> > her

> > > number? " [Marc] " No, it's still . "

> > >

> > > Which is all fine and good folks... except that the number has

> > always

> > > been .

> > >

> > > Seriously, I don't even know how to react. This blows my mind.

> > And

> > > since when did my brother who all but abandoned my mother for my

> > > father's money during their divorce, become the favorite

child?...

> > > I'm so tired of this kind of thing.

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

it's funny how they can switch out one pawn for another when another

child comes back in the picture. It doesn't even matter who the child

is, one is the favorable one and the other one gets dumped on. They

can be switched at any time or played against each other.

It's an awful and cold way to be treated, I'm so sorry.