Guest guest Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 I haven't read UBM yet, could someone give a quick definition of the different types? Thanks!!! Jae Witch/Waif Mother After reading so many of these posts, I'm somewhat curious about the the ratio of Hermit, Witch, Waif and Queen mothers everyone has. Of course, that's the definitions in UBM and some BP's can cover more than one definition. My mother is a waif/witch. Any other KO's of waif/witches out there? Khris ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 Mmmm...yes, they do. My mother's been through so many BF's and HB's. Most were narcissists. Generally quite angry and violent men. She was the perpetual victim to their violence, but if she could swing the manipulation (which she became extremely good at by the time I was 8 or 9), she managed to swing their violence toward me instead of her. She instigated it and then unleased it on me. Of course, it was all my fault. None of them were really around for a long time. She's been married to her current HB now for better than 20 years, but he's a totally different type of fada than the others. Doormat! Yes dear. No dear. Whatever you say, your Highness. Oh please honey don't swing that broomstick at me anymore or I might be whisked away into oblivion. ;0 Poor, pitiful putz. Thankfully, he did the trick for me and allowed me an escape. As long as he can hold his own, I'm safe. Khris > > > > > > > > After reading so many of these posts, I'm somewhat curious about > > the > > > > the ratio of Hermit, Witch, Waif and Queen mothers everyone has. > > Of > > > > course, that's the definitions in UBM and some BP's can cover > > more than > > > > one definition. My mother is a waif/witch. Any other KO's of > > > > waif/witches out there? > > > > > > > > Khris > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 The Waif is a hopeless, helpless victim. She needs a caretaker. The Hermit shelters herself/himself from harm because the world is a very dangerous place. The Queen rules the roost and no one better defy her, or else! The Witch is unpredictable and volitile. She devours little children's souls. (I learned this from personal experience). > > I haven't read UBM yet, could someone give a quick definition of the different types? > > Thanks!!! > > Jae > > > Witch/Waif Mother > > After reading so many of these posts, I'm somewhat curious about the > the ratio of Hermit, Witch, Waif and Queen mothers everyone has. Of > course, that's the definitions in UBM and some BP's can cover more than > one definition. My mother is a waif/witch. Any other KO's of > waif/witches out there? > > Khris > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ ______________ > Be a better friend, newshound, and > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 I had forgotten the categories so thanks for the clarification. My nada has features of all four. She's mostly Queen, but when crossed (or disagreed with, or challenged, or whatever) will first morph into the Witch, and if that fails will lapse into the Waif and wait for Dad to come to her rescue. The Hermit comes in as part of her general outlook on life. I was seldom allowed to leave the house alone because there were bad men out there who would whisk me away. I should clarify that this didn't start happening until I was sixteen or so. I also started dating an older man and she was convinced that his only goal was to turn me into a prostitute. > > The Waif is a hopeless, helpless victim. She needs a caretaker. > The Hermit shelters herself/himself from harm because the world is a > very dangerous place. > The Queen rules the roost and no one better defy her, or else! > The Witch is unpredictable and volitile. She devours little > children's souls. (I learned this from personal experience). > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 Then mine's a Queen/Witch. She sometimes acts like a Waif, but only after all else fails and usually to get 'forgiveness' after a particularly violent rage. For instance, once she yelled and screamed and raged at me on the phone for well over an hour, calling me names, just awful, and when I said " Fine, f- you, I'm hanging up " , suddenly she was nearly in tears saying that if her children disrespected her enough to talk to her that way she must be a bad mother so she was just going to kill herself. Then she went on and on about how she would do it, what it would look like, what the will said, what my responsibilities would be for her funeral and little sis' care, until I agreed to drive to her city to take care of her for a few days. I had to cover two shifts at work and missed one exam. Otherwise, she's either fun, happy mommy or demon mother from hell and she can switch in the blink of an eye. Jae P.S. She actually tried that suicide thing several times. The last one before I went NC (definitely the worst one too), she called from the parking lot of Academy, with little sis in the car, saying she was going in to buy a gun and blow her head off and it was all my fault. She asked how I felt about having my mother's blood on my hands. Then she went on to describe how the bullet would pass through her brain, what that would look like (she was a scrub nurse for a long time), how the gray matter would look on the wall. She actually planned to shoot herself in front of me. She was going to drive 250 miles so I could watch her die. The whole time she was going on like this I could hear little sis screaming and crying in the background for her to stop and just go home. The reason? I refused to move back into her house. I was 21. I ended up calling her father to go to that Academy and at the very least get little sis, I figured if that's all he could do I could have the police at my apartment before nada got there. This is on a list I keep of unforgivable things she's done. It helps when I get really guilty about going NC and start to forget why I am. Another one was when I applied for a job at Express and she said I was too fat to get the job (at a size 8 at most). Or when she threw me into a wall so hard little sis's door opened down the hall. The bruise was epic! I highly recommend that list by the way. I look at it about once a week now and it always helps with that horrible guilt. Witch/Waif Mother > > After reading so many of these posts, I'm somewhat curious about the > the ratio of Hermit, Witch, Waif and Queen mothers everyone has. Of > course, that's the definitions in UBM and some BP's can cover more than > one definition. My mother is a waif/witch. Any other KO's of > waif/witches out there? > > Khris > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ ____________ __ > Be a better friend, newshound, and > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile. yahoo.com/ ;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 The ability to turn behavior on & off is just like a little kid...trying every tactic to see which one will work. > > > > I haven't read UBM yet, could someone give a quick definition of > the different types? > > > > Thanks!!! > > > > Jae > > > > > > Witch/Waif Mother > > > > After reading so many of these posts, I'm somewhat curious about > the > > the ratio of Hermit, Witch, Waif and Queen mothers everyone has. Of > > course, that's the definitions in UBM and some BP's can cover more > than > > one definition. My mother is a waif/witch. Any other KO's of > > waif/witches out there? > > > > Khris > > > > > > > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ > ____________ __ > > Be a better friend, newshound, and > > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. > http://mobile. yahoo.com/ ;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 Hi Khris, Nadas can also often be different characters to different family members. With me my nada was a hermit/witch. Every once in awhile the waif would come out too. With my split good, highly worshipped sister, my nada was a Queen/waif--but never a witch. To this day it keeps my sister completely turned against me, and believing nada is the bomb. With my father, nada is a waif/queen. This feeds his narcissism quite conveniently. I am usually the only one who sees the witch. This helps her to keep sympathy and believe that her reality is 'real' with the rest of the FOO. --Charlie > > After reading so many of these posts, I'm somewhat curious about the > the ratio of Hermit, Witch, Waif and Queen mothers everyone has. Of > course, that's the definitions in UBM and some BP's can cover more than > one definition. My mother is a waif/witch. Any other KO's of > waif/witches out there? > > Khris > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 Well in that case, my NADA is a mix between The Waif, The Hermit, and The Queen. Can there be combinations? > > > > I haven't read UBM yet, could someone give a quick definition of > the different types? > > > > Thanks!!! > > > > Jae > > > > > > Witch/Waif Mother > > > > After reading so many of these posts, I'm somewhat curious about > the > > the ratio of Hermit, Witch, Waif and Queen mothers everyone has. Of > > course, that's the definitions in UBM and some BP's can cover more > than > > one definition. My mother is a waif/witch. Any other KO's of > > waif/witches out there? > > > > Khris > > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > ______________ > > Be a better friend, newshound, and > > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. > http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 > > After reading so many of these posts, I'm somewhat curious about the > the ratio of Hermit, Witch, Waif and Queen mothers everyone has. Of > course, that's the definitions in UBM and some BP's can cover more than > one definition. My mother is a waif/witch. Any other KO's of > waif/witches out there? > > Khris > mine's mostly hermit... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 Primarily Hermit/Waif with minor components of Queen/Witch. > > After reading so many of these posts, I'm somewhat curious about the > the ratio of Hermit, Witch, Waif and Queen mothers everyone has. Of > course, that's the definitions in UBM and some BP's can cover more than > one definition. My mother is a waif/witch. Any other KO's of > waif/witches out there? > > Khris > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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