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Re: Should I respond?

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Hey Kyla -

Yes, it was supposed to be this big PUNISHMENT for me, after a year

and a half of sending me hate mail! He was like a kid stomping off the

playground " fine, I'll just take my ball and go home! "

And of course, at that point the best I could possibly hope for was

that he'd just leave me alone!

By the way, I've been off the boards for a while and I'm glad to see

you're still here and going strong...

Letty

>

> Letty -- I can relate!

>

> It's almost humorous how my dad, when he sent a very mean, insulting

> e-mail because he was pissed we didn't make plans with them

> Thanksgiving. He wrote about three paragraphs of insults, then ends

> it with " Don't bother to respond. I'll just delete it. "

>

> Okey Dokey! Have it your way, Dad!

>

> I was FREE! I " couldn't " respond -- and that meant I didn't have to

> make Christmas plans with them either!!! I think my dad realized

> that he'd stepped in it bigtime, but by the time he " apologized " for

> what he wrote, it was too late. We were already leaving town with

> Christmas plans of our own.

>

> Maybe he thought I'd be so hurt and upset -- and don't forget SHAMED

> by my terrible ways -- that I would ignore his command not to

> respond, and call him crying, blah, blah, blah.....But I took him at

> his word and went about my day. Oh, and shared the letter with my

> brother, aunt, two uncles, my friends and this board!!!

>

> It's almost funny how they think they're REALLY BURNING us by

> telling us they'll never speak to us again. It's almost like we

> have to zip our lip from crying out " THANK YOU!!! "

>

> Makes me laugh.....

>

> -Kyla

>

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Nada once called me once every fifteen minutes while I was on shift as a

waitress. Of course, my purse and cell phone were in the manager's office with

everyone else's. I couldn't even hear it. My manager brought it to me the first

time, saying someone had been calling and it seemed like it must be important

(five missed calls in a row) and I called her back, told her I was at work,

couldn't talk and my purse was in my manager's office, couldn't hear it. I said

I'd call her after work. She screamed for a little while, I hung up. Then she

started the every fifteen minutes thing. I turned the phone off. Then, she

called my work every fifteen minutes. I hung up on her every time once I

realized it was her. Then, my boss picked up the phone and told her if she

called one more time he'd fire me that second. And she did!!!! He wasn't really

going to. I explained that she was nuts, basically, and I couldn't get her to

stop. So that was his solution. Obviously

it didn't work, but my coworkers were all appalled that she called after he

threatened to fire me. So then we started a game, see who could hang up on Jae's

mother the most! We had a tally board and everything. The salad cook won.

The next time I talked to her (the next day), she expressed her 'concern' about

my co-workers being a bad influence. That, and the expected hour long lecture on

my duties as her daughter. But, she didn't call me at work anymore!

Instead, she started calling my various employer's HR departments each time I

changed jobs to ask if I worked there and then she'd tell them she had to ask

because I lie to her, saying I'm employed when I'm not. It was so humiliating. I

started only giving her made up names. It hasn't been a problem since.

Jae

Re: Should I respond?

T,

I didn't realize you were at work today. That is one of my biggest pet peeves,

why does

she think she can text you on a work day and be responded to immediately. I

worked in a

place with no personal calls, and no cell phones allowed. It made work one of my

safest

places.

I may be old but I don't like that people think I can be gotten any time so I

typical have my

cell off or silent. Maybe it was a subconcious way to avoid Nada?

Congrats on the promotion!

>

> Well, what a day I am having. I got a promotion and at my new location today,

so it is

supposed to be a good day, but I keep being met with all of this drama.

>

> I just got a phone call from her now, and of course I did not answer.

Basically she said

over again what she had said in her text messages. Basically: " I have sent you a

couple of

text messages and wasnt sure if you got them. I was just wondering if you would

like to

meet one on one to try and figure out a resolution to this. I would like to know

by the end

of the day so that i am not wondering about this. If i do not hear from you by

the end of

the day cause i do not want to be hung out to dry, i will assume you do not want

to meet

and find a way to move forward and negotiating a solution. Hopefully I will hear

from you,

but I will love you either way. mom "

>

> That is not verbatum, but basically what it said. My initial reaction is to

not respond

still, basically to make her suffer in silence, but I know that may not be the

right thing, or

the mature thing to do. I am torn between how to handle this, but it certainly

angers me

to here her say that we need to figure out a resolution, and negotiate. i have

done

nothing, she is the one that needs to fix her problems. anyways, any thoughts

are always

appreciated.

> T

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your home page.

http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs

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Same thing with my mom's big Silent Treatment -- I've just let it go

on and on and on and on.........It's the exact opposite of some of

the other nadas in the world who make harassing phone calls, etc.

Mine sulks.

> >

> > Letty -- I can relate!

> >

> > It's almost humorous how my dad, when he sent a very mean,

insulting

> > e-mail because he was pissed we didn't make plans with them

> > Thanksgiving. He wrote about three paragraphs of insults, then

ends

> > it with " Don't bother to respond. I'll just delete it. "

> >

> > Okey Dokey! Have it your way, Dad!

> >

> > I was FREE! I " couldn't " respond -- and that meant I didn't

have to

> > make Christmas plans with them either!!! I think my dad

realized

> > that he'd stepped in it bigtime, but by the time he " apologized "

for

> > what he wrote, it was too late. We were already leaving town

with

> > Christmas plans of our own.

> >

> > Maybe he thought I'd be so hurt and upset -- and don't forget

SHAMED

> > by my terrible ways -- that I would ignore his command not to

> > respond, and call him crying, blah, blah, blah.....But I took

him at

> > his word and went about my day. Oh, and shared the letter with

my

> > brother, aunt, two uncles, my friends and this board!!!

> >

> > It's almost funny how they think they're REALLY BURNING us by

> > telling us they'll never speak to us again. It's almost like we

> > have to zip our lip from crying out " THANK YOU!!! "

> >

> > Makes me laugh.....

> >

> > -Kyla

> >

>

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Hi Tony,

I don't think that it is immature of you not to

respond if you are not sure which response you want to

take. Instead, it makes more sense to me if you take

the time to figure out how you feel about the issue

and make up your mind before doing something like

responding. You have the right to take your time and

think this over; another way of putting that is that

her timeline does not need to be your timeline.

My mother did much the same when she called me last

year out of the blue. She had sent an email asking if

we could talk (I'd been NC for about 3.5 years at that

point). I was seriously considering her offer,

particularly because she has made changes in her life

and I was hoping that she would be better. However,

instead she called. Because I had not responded, she

had chosen to assume that there was a technology

problem and I had not received the email. I saw this

as infringing on my boundaries and was wholly

unimpressed with her behavior.

is

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

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Kyla, you are so awesome!!! Time and time again you have me

screaming with excitement......you go girl!!!

drlingirl

> >

> > So i think I know how to interpret this text message from my

mom,

> but I

> > was wondering what others thoughts were on this and what you

think I

> > should do. Thanks all:

> >

> > " Hi. Will you meet with me to talk, soon?

> > No maybe, just yes or nom please. I have

> > an idea for a new years resolution, but it

> > must be in person alone with me. Love mom. "

> >

>

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>

> So i think I know how to interpret this text message from my mom,

but I

> was wondering what others thoughts were on this and what you think I

> should do. Thanks all:

>

> " Hi. Will you meet with me to talk, soon?

> No maybe, just yes or nom please. I have

> an idea for a new years resolution, but it

> must be in person alone with me. Love mom. "

>

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Oops - sorry about the blank post.

I do not remember the particulars of your situation, but I do have a

suggestion on what to do.

DO NOT meet with her alone. Set up your own 'rule', and it is not to

meet alone. This is a very manipulative message. She is trying to

take control of the situation with her resolution idea, and the demand

that you must meet in person and alone.

What was your interpretation of the message?

Sylvia

>

> So i think I know how to interpret this text message from my mom,

but I

> was wondering what others thoughts were on this and what you think I

> should do. Thanks all:

>

> " Hi. Will you meet with me to talk, soon?

> No maybe, just yes or nom please. I have

> an idea for a new years resolution, but it

> must be in person alone with me. Love mom. "

>

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Tony,

My first post did not go through. :(

Yep - still no response. Just because she wants you to do

something, and tries to guilt you into doing it, doesn't mean you

have to play her game.

She is trying, okay - trying your patience! Remember - you don't

have to do anything that you don't want to do! (I know, she doesn't

understand that, but she will eventually, if you stick to your

boundaries.)

She knows what she did wrong, she knows what needs to be done to

make it right, but she is doing everything possible to avoid taking

responsibility for her actions.

Take care,

Sylvia

>

> I just got another text from her this morning now, saying she

would like a answer by the end of the day today. that it is only

fair since she is the only one trying here.

> Still no response?

>

......

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One of the cycles we KOs have to break is believing we have to do

something - anything - to prevent the BP from doing something else.

Just for the fun of it, make a list of all the things you can do -

ignore her emails, block her emails, ignore her phone calls, block

her phone calls, send any one of the suggested responses you have

received, change your phone numbers, get a new phone number for

everyone else, and just keep this one going for her, change your

email address, legally change your name (and what other 'crazy'

things can you think of doing?)

We also have to toughen up concerning what the rest of the family

thinks about us. What is important is what we think about

ourselves. My sister and my children did not agree with my going no

contact with my mother. Fortunately, they are respectful, so they

didn't try to manipulate me or make me feel bad. I was particularly

sad that my decision was causing some sadness for my children. But

I had to be true to myself, and by doing so, I was also setting an

example for my children and showing everyone how I expected to be

treated.

When we develop our ability to be confident in ourselves, it will

matter less and less what people say about us behind our backs. Is

your family the kind that will talk about people this way - or do

they have some sort of clue about your mother?

Your concern is coming from a place where you still feel like you

have to make things right - that you have the responsibility to fix

this problem. Even if you rationally know that is not true, your

feelings may not be caught up to your logical thinking.

Bottom line - do what is right for you to do - let the chips fall

where they may - you will be able to deal with any fall out from

this. 'This above all else, to thine own self be true'.

Sylvia

> >

> > Kyla, it is basically monday today, so all your little typos are

> expected from us all today! haha.

> >

> > Thanks for all you input!

> > T

> >

> >

> > Re: Should I respond?

> >

> > Correction: " WE'RE not going to participate in THEIR emotional

> > turmoil anymore. " Sheesh!

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> ____________ ___

> > Be a better friend, newshound, and

> > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

> http://mobile. yahoo.com/ ;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ

> >

> >

> >

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Well after meeting with my therapist, and much talk with him and my wife, i

actually decided to email my mom. This is what my email read:

Hey Mom,

I did get your messages, and I do want to say that I am sorry for calling you

the inappropriate name that night. However, I do not feel that I am ready to

meet with you yet. I would appreciate being given space and I will contact you

when I feel I am emotionally ready. Thank you for respecting my wishes.

Love,

Tony

I figure this clears all of my part, and will test to see if she respects the

boundaries I have layed out. From here I do not know where I will take it, but

I have attempted to regain control, appologize for my wrongs in this (will take

the burden off my grandma hopefully) and punctuated again that i need space. I

will let you all know if i get any response and appreciate all your help. I

know many of you told me not to do this, but i felt this for me was the right

thing. I need to stop feeding into her games, and just do what i believe is

right, and right for me. Have a good night everyone.

T

Re: Should I respond?

> >

> > Correction: " WE'RE not going to participate in THEIR emotional

> > turmoil anymore. " Sheesh!

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> ____________ ___

> > Be a better friend, newshound, and

> > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

> http://mobile. yahoo.com/ ;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ

> >

> >

> >

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That was a great response. I am sure you are feeling very relieved

right now. Yes, many of us suggested you not respond - but on this

forum - we support and respect the decisions you make.

Now you have two things to celebrate - your job promotion AND doing

a darn good job of managing this situation with your mother.

Sylvia

>

> Well after meeting with my therapist, and much talk with him and

my wife, i actually decided to email my mom. This is what my email

read:

>

> Hey Mom,

> I did get your messages, and I do want to say that I am sorry for

calling you the inappropriate name that night. However, I do not

feel that I am ready to meet with you yet. I would appreciate being

given space and I will contact you when I feel I am emotionally

ready. Thank you for respecting my wishes.

> Love,

> Tony

>

>

> I figure this clears all of my part, and will test to see if she

respects the boundaries I have layed out. From here I do not know

where I will take it, but I have attempted to regain control,

appologize for my wrongs in this (will take the burden off my

grandma hopefully) and punctuated again that i need space. I will

let you all know if i get any response and appreciate all your

help. I know many of you told me not to do this, but i felt this

for me was the right thing. I need to stop feeding into her games,

and just do what i believe is right, and right for me. Have a good

night everyone.

> T

>

>

>......

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This story was so awful! I had to read it twice to make sure I got it right.

I'm so glad you could disentangle yourself from her enough to be comfortable

being seen as totally separate from her by your coworkers--and even being able

to laugh about it! I would have been so embarassed, kudos to you for your

strength and humor and for not allowing her to sabotoge your credibility and one

of your only refuges (your job!)...

JL Suess wrote: Nada once called me once every fifteen

minutes while I was on shift as a waitress. Of course, my purse and cell phone

were in the manager's office with everyone else's. I couldn't even hear it. My

manager brought it to me the first time, saying someone had been calling and it

seemed like it must be important (five missed calls in a row) and I called her

back, told her I was at work, couldn't talk and my purse was in my manager's

office, couldn't hear it. I said I'd call her after work. She screamed for a

little while, I hung up. Then she started the every fifteen minutes thing. I

turned the phone off. Then, she called my work every fifteen minutes. I hung up

on her every time once I realized it was her. Then, my boss picked up the phone

and told her if she called one more time he'd fire me that second. And she

did!!!! He wasn't really going to. I explained that she was nuts, basically, and

I couldn't get her to stop. So that was his

solution. Obviously

it didn't work, but my coworkers were all appalled that she called after he

threatened to fire me. So then we started a game, see who could hang up on Jae's

mother the most! We had a tally board and everything. The salad cook won.

The next time I talked to her (the next day), she expressed her 'concern' about

my co-workers being a bad influence. That, and the expected hour long lecture on

my duties as her daughter. But, she didn't call me at work anymore!

Instead, she started calling my various employer's HR departments each time I

changed jobs to ask if I worked there and then she'd tell them she had to ask

because I lie to her, saying I'm employed when I'm not. It was so humiliating. I

started only giving her made up names. It hasn't been a problem since.

Jae

Re: Should I respond?

T,

I didn't realize you were at work today. That is one of my biggest pet peeves,

why does

she think she can text you on a work day and be responded to immediately. I

worked in a

place with no personal calls, and no cell phones allowed. It made work one of my

safest

places.

I may be old but I don't like that people think I can be gotten any time so I

typical have my

cell off or silent. Maybe it was a subconcious way to avoid Nada?

Congrats on the promotion!

>

> Well, what a day I am having. I got a promotion and at my new location today,

so it is

supposed to be a good day, but I keep being met with all of this drama.

>

> I just got a phone call from her now, and of course I did not answer.

Basically she said

over again what she had said in her text messages. Basically: " I have sent you a

couple of

text messages and wasnt sure if you got them. I was just wondering if you would

like to

meet one on one to try and figure out a resolution to this. I would like to know

by the end

of the day so that i am not wondering about this. If i do not hear from you by

the end of

the day cause i do not want to be hung out to dry, i will assume you do not want

to meet

and find a way to move forward and negotiating a solution. Hopefully I will hear

from you,

but I will love you either way. mom "

>

> That is not verbatum, but basically what it said. My initial reaction is to

not respond

still, basically to make her suffer in silence, but I know that may not be the

right thing, or

the mature thing to do. I am torn between how to handle this, but it certainly

angers me

to here her say that we need to figure out a resolution, and negotiate. i have

done

nothing, she is the one that needs to fix her problems. anyways, any thoughts

are always

appreciated.

> T

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your home page.

http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs

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Tony -- you did the right thing. It sounded mature and still

maintained your new boundaries. Well done. As Sylvia said, we DO

support you in what you decided to do. You and your therapist came up

with a solution that struck just the right balance.

-Kyla

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Tony,

You handled the situation with grace. Very nicely carried out...it

will be interesting to see what she does next. Now, let's lift a

glass of virtual bubbly in celebration of your promotion!

Cheers,

Sakura

>

> Well after meeting with my therapist, and much talk with him and my

wife, i actually decided to email my mom. This is what my email read:

>

> Hey Mom,

> I did get your messages, and I do want to say that I am sorry for

calling you the inappropriate name that night. However, I do not

feel that I am ready to meet with you yet. I would appreciate being

given space and I will contact you when I feel I am emotionally

ready. Thank you for respecting my wishes.

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Tony, I think your reply to your mother was just right. You cleared

your own feeling of remorse for using the 'b' word with her by your

apology. You also let her know that you are no longer a push-over and

that you have taken control of your own destiny and are claiming your

right to define your relationship with her. Your wording was very

calm and unemotional. You must have the right therapist in your court

if this was done with his approval.

Becoming unenmeshed with a BPD parent is never an easy task. Your

mother's vile email, however, gave you a jump start towards getting a

fabulous start. You are a real man. Never forget that, even though

your mother is trying to keep you 'her' little boy. This will get

more satisfying to you as time passes...not that she will change..odds

are that she won't. But your own self-respect and happiness will

increase, your marriage will be better, and you will begin to look

forward to the rest of your life.

I congratulate you. Dee

> > >

> > > Kyla, it is basically monday today, so all your little typos are

> > expected from us all today! haha.

> > >

> > > Thanks for all you input!

> > > T

> > >

> > >

> > > Re: Should I respond?

> > >

> > > Correction: " WE'RE not going to participate in THEIR emotional

> > > turmoil anymore. " Sheesh!

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > ____________ ___

> > > Be a better friend, newshound, and

> > > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

> > http://mobile. yahoo.com/ ;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ

> > >

> > >

> > >

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He shoots, he scores. :-) WTG.

> > >

> > > Kyla, it is basically monday today, so all your little typos

are

> > expected from us all today! haha.

> > >

> > > Thanks for all you input!

> > > T

> > >

> > >

> > > Re: Should I respond?

> > >

> > > Correction: " WE'RE not going to participate in THEIR emotional

> > > turmoil anymore. " Sheesh!

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > ____________ ___

> > > Be a better friend, newshound, and

> > > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

> > http://mobile. yahoo.com/ ;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ

> > >

> > >

> > >

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So.....surprisingly i have had no response from my mom. Is this a good sign? I

feel like i may be celebrating too early, but she is so obsessive I would have

thought I would have heard something by now? Now how long should I wait till I

regain contact, or what type of game plan should I have. My wife wants me to

kind of figure out where I would like to be in 2 years with them, as far as when

we have kids what type of role will they play, will we visit them, allow them to

visit us and our kids (future kids that is). I know this is kind of getting

ahead of ourselves, but i guess for setting boundaries I kind of need to have a

plan. Just wondering what peoples thoughts are.

T

Re: Should I respond?

> > >

> > > Correction: " WE'RE not going to participate in THEIR emotional

> > > turmoil anymore. " Sheesh!

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > ____________ ___

> > > Be a better friend, newshound, and

> > > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

> > http://mobile. yahoo.com/ ;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ

> > >

> > >

> > >

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Hey, I've been away for a while, and I realize that your

nada's " deadline " has already passed. Here's what I do with my kids

(and coincidentally, it works great with BPD too because they need

boundaries just as much). If I say " maybe " or " I'll think about it " or

if they don't give me a chance to respond before pestering me again, I

simply say,

" If you need an answer right now, then my answer is no. "

It bugs me that your mother expects you to respond to her immediately.

That's not reasonable. What if you hadn't even had your phone with

you?

My advice would be to give a short response along with a boundary,

like, " If you text me in the future I will not respond. "

Hope that helps next time!

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I think its great to go ahead and set boundaries. You can never be too prepared

with BPD people. When I set boundaries through email with my mother she didn't

respond for weeks. In fact she gave me the silent treatment. She was upset that

I didn't have the guts to talk to her face to face. It took two months before

she finally sat down with me and my husband to have a heart to heart. During

this time I was LC with her and it drove her crazy. I think it also gave her

time to think about how much she really wanted to have some part in my life and

in the lives of her grandsons. We are just now starting to do things together

again and I am taking it slowly. She tries to get me to answer her quickly and

continues to ask and ask but instead of getting nervous and thinking I need to

answer her quickly to get her off my back I just sit and wait. I tell her I

don't know and I'll have to talk to first. Then I don't call her for days.

Finally I will either say yes or no. When I have said yes it is with conditions

and I make sure I don't bend because I know it is her goal to get me to bend or

manipulate me in some way so she can feel she is in control once again. I have

not let this happen yet but I tell you it is a constant battle when she is in my

presence or we are talking on the phone I must always be on my feet ready to

recognize and respond to the manipulation. Good luck! Her silence may last a

while. It will feel very uncomfortable at first but just stick to it, talk to

your therapist, friends, wife more and get their validation for what you are

doing. Stick to your level of comfort. Only when I did this did the dynamics in

our relationship change.

http://im.live.com/Messenger/IM/MTV/?source=text_Cause_Effect

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Tony -- I think it IS a good sign! Take a breath and think about

how YOU feel regarding being with her. Are you ready for her verbal

jousting? Your wife is right: You'd better have a game plan with

Mom -- Think of what she does that rubs you the wrong way -- the

disrespect, the vicious e-mail diatribes, etc.....

It seems you're rushing things a bit. YOU get to decide when you'll

contact her again, and I would HIGHLY recommend reading one or two

of the books, because that will start some thought processes and dig

deeper into your psyche. When you've gotten to know yourself a

little better (you ARE, after all, a product of your mother's home --

surely you realize that has affected you), you can then map out

what you see as future interactions with your mom.

What she said about your wife, and her wanting to meet you at home

should definitely be on your list. That, to me, is your immediate

priority -- the first " fire " that needs tending.

Also, after reading your mom's e-mail, I see that she's got a

wellspring of anger -- you'd better go into that prepared. When she

sees the first signs that you're stronger and more independent (and

believe me, she'll see it -- BPDs are hyper-sensitive to that),

she'll start to try and find the cracks in your newfound " armor " .

Take your time. Get to know yourself. Plan what relationship YOU

want with your mom from this point forward. Learn what you're

dealing with by reading more about it. Information is your best

weapon right now.

-Kyla

> > > >

> > > > Kyla, it is basically monday today, so all your little typos

are

> > > expected from us all today! haha.

> > > >

> > > > Thanks for all you input!

> > > > T

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Re: Should I respond?

> > > >

> > > > Correction: " WE'RE not going to participate in THEIR

emotional

> > > > turmoil anymore. " Sheesh!

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________

_

> > > ____________ ___

> > > > Be a better friend, newshound, and

> > > > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

> > > http://mobile. yahoo.com/ ;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

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Hi Tony,

My thought is that she is unimpressed that you managed

to stymy her attempt and is now thinking over a new

strategy so that she can be in charge of the

situation. My other thought is that you did the

grown-up and mature act in this situation so enjoy the

silence! :)

is

________________________________________________________________________________\

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Tony, I agree with is. You replied to her in a mature way. our

BPD moms don't know how to be mature, so she is probably

confused...you stumped her!

>

> Hi Tony,

>

> My thought is that she is unimpressed that you managed

> to stymy her attempt and is now thinking over a new

> strategy so that she can be in charge of the

> situation. My other thought is that you did the

> grown-up and mature act in this situation so enjoy the

> silence! :)

>

> is

>

>

>

______________________________________________________________________

______________

> Looking for last minute shopping deals?

> Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.

http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping

>

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