RE: Re: Is anyone a highly sensitive person???

[Guest guest]

You know, I haven't seen that much either. I'm the same way and I imagine many

other KOs are as well. With so much drama and excitement with nada, it makes

sense we'd avoid it later in life. That, and I know many of us are on edge

nearly all the time, trained from birth to look for subtle signals that nada's

mood may be changing dangerously. When we're exposed to so much activity, and to

other people in particular, we're still looking for those signs and it's just

too much to worry about at one time. At least, I think that's how it works for

me. I know I feel like I have to be constantly alert, watching everything around

me, and I get tired!! At home I feel more or less like I can relax, I don't need

to be 'fight or flight' all the time. It's so much nicer.

It causes some fights between my partner and I though, and I hate that. She

loves to go out and be around people. She was in an acting troupe a few years

ago and she really shines on stage. It's great to see her like that, I fall in

love all over again every time I see her sing or act, but I'm repelled by the

crowds. So, I'm trying really hard to 'fix' this about myself. I'd love to know

if anyone's conquered it and how.

Jae

Re: Is anyone a highly sensitive person???

Sylvia -- you wrote:

" I just posted recently about how I must take alone and quite time

for myself on a regular basis, otherwise I cannot deal with all the

emotional input I absorb. If you are HSP, it is very important to

take care of yourself, but since we are also KOs, we have to learn

at a late date how to do that. "

So glad you pointed that out! I've not seen that addressed much

here -- and I've always felt a little abnormal about my need to be

alone and not to have too much stimulation. Even down to the

telephone -- I HATE it. It's so obnoxious -- like a big noise

explosion.

That is so true! I have an aversion to crowds and lots of noise,

etc. I have always been repelled by the calls for volunteers and

the " need " to put on big auctions and carnivals when my kids were in

elementary school. I HATED being that busy --

And, aside from that, I need my alone time -- lots of it. I could

live alone, no problem. I still have good friends, and do enjoy

seeing them, but I don't thrive on lots of social contact, like some

personalities do. I admire that about them -- they seem to get more

done and be more connected, that's for sure!

To be alone with a book or watch a movie without interruption --

that's what I love to do. I'll even limit drinking at a party

because I want to be able to concentrate when I get home and go to

bed with a book. It must be that I'm highly sensitive, too.

-Kyla

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My Nada has always wanted to change me. She wanted me to be like her (outgoing,

loud, people pleasing etc.). I can remember her forcing me to talk to people I

didn't want to talk to. Now she credits herself for bringing me " out of my

shell " . She called me " painfully shy " . What does this mean? I think it was

painful for her to accept me for who I was which was different from her. My

sister is not sensitive and more like my mother in this way and my mother seemed

to accept her more. I believe it was my mother's mission to change me into a

mini her. I can remember begging to get guitar lessons and since this was not

something she liked she would only pay for piano lessons since she took piano

for 10 years and thought she could always be superior to me in this area. My

husband said to me the other day, " It seems like your family seldom got you what

you wanted (guitar, barbies, make believe toys). I said I know I just had to

create and make the toys myself. Now she talks about how creative I was when I

made my own line of makeup at age 8 out of paper, sissors, and tape (because I

didn't have anything else). Sometimes I wonder where I would be now if they

would have let me become who God made me to be.

Kelley

To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: writermanque@...: Thu, 3

Jan 2008 17:21:29 +0000Subject: Re: Is anyone a highly

sensitive person???

Wow, this is interesting. I fit this description, too, and seeing so many other

affirmatives on this thread I can't help but wonder how much is nature versus

(lack of) nurture. I too was always told I was too sensitive and needed to

develop a " thick skin " . Which leads me to wonder: why? Why do we need to develop

a thick skin? So other people can casually berate us without consequence? So no

one has to think about how their words or actions might hurt other people? I

mean, I know that there are people in this world that are going to be mean. But

I think if we teach sensitive kids how to appropriately communicate the

inappropriateness of the other's actions, rather than to shut up and suck it up,

the world might be a better place.> >> >

I was always labeled by my Nada as being withdrawn, painfully shy, > >

introverted, drama queen, overly sensitive etc. She use to comment > > on how I

noticed the slighted smell and almost started throwing up > > if it was awful. I

began to see some of these same qualities in my > > child when I was first

introduced to the concept of being a Highly > > Sensitive Person. Here are the

characteristics associated with > being > > Highly Sensitive and I was wondering

if other KO's also have these > > characteristics?> > > > You, have a heightened

awareness of subtleties in your > environment, > > whether it's sight, sound,

touch, taste, or smell. > > > > You can become stressed out and upset when

overwhelmed and may > find > > it necessary to get away, maybe into a darkened

room, to seek > > solitude, relief and comfort. > > > > You are very

conscientious, hard working, and meticulous, but may > > become uncomfortable

and less efficient or productive when being > > closely watched or scrutinized.

> > > > You feel compelled to file and organize things and thoughts, also > >

enjoy simplicity and may become overwhelmed or even immobilized by > > chaos,

clutter, or stress. > > > > You are very uncomfortable when feeling things are

getting out of > > your control. > > > > You get a sense of comfort and well

being when around a lake, > river, > > stream, the ocean, or even a fountain. >

> > > You experience mood swings, sometimes occurring almost instantly > and > >

can also be affected by other people's moods, emotions and > problems. > > > >

You have a deep, rich, inner life, are very spiritual and may also > >

frequently have vivid dreams, and possibly nightmares. > > > > You are very

intuitive and you feel that you can usually sense if > > someone isn't telling

the truth or if something else is wrong. > > > > You get concerned and worry

about many things, and have also been > > told " you take things too personally. "

> > > > You have had the experience of " cutting people out " of your life. > > >

> You were considered quiet, introverted, timid, or shy as a child. > > > > Here

are a few more to consider... Can be startled easily. > Cautious > > in new

situations. May have trouble sleeping. Extra sensitive to > > pain. Don't like

crowds. Avoids violent movies and TV shows. Has a > > deep respect and

appreciation of nature, music and art. > > > > Do some, or many, of these

statements ring true for you, your > > partner, or someone important in your

life? If so, you or they may > > be a highly sensitive person or " HSP. " > > > >

Kelley> >>

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Hi Sylvia,

That is so true. I am just now starting to learn, accept, and be thankful for my

sensitivity.

Kelley

To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: smhtrain2@...: Thu, 3 Jan

2008 13:16:39 +0000Subject: Re: Is anyone a highly sensitive

person???

Hi Kelley,Yes, I fit the description of highly sensitive. But, my nada and fada

were so insensitive that they didn't have a clue - lol! There were times when I

was accused of taking things too personally, but other than that, my parents had

no idea of how much pain I was in as a child. And for the obvious things that

cause children pain, they didn't seem to care. My parents both had the idea that

children didn't have real feelings, and whatever was bothering a child, the

child got over and forgot about it very quickly. It was my therapist who finally

explained to me exactly how sensitive I was. I have often thought that many KOs

do fit the profile of being highly sensitive. I just posted recently about how I

must take alone and quite time for myself on a regular basis, otherwise I cannot

deal with all the emotional input I absorb. If you are HSP, it is very important

to take care of yourself, but since we are also KOs, we have to learn at a late

date how to do that. Sylvia >> I was always labeled by my Nada as

being withdrawn, painfully shy, > introverted, drama queen, overly sensitive

etc. She use to comment > on how I noticed the slighted smell and almost started

throwing up > if it was awful. I began to see some of these same qualities in my

> child when I was first introduced to the concept of being a Highly > Sensitive

Person. Here are the characteristics associated with being > Highly Sensitive

and I was wondering if other KO's also have these > characteristics?> > You,

have a heightened awareness of subtleties in your environment, > whether it's

sight, sound, touch, taste, or smell. > > You can become stressed out and upset

when overwhelmed and may find > it necessary to get away, maybe into a darkened

room, to seek > solitude, relief and comfort. > > You are very conscientious,

hard working, and meticulous, but may > become uncomfortable and less efficient

or productive when being > closely watched or scrutinized. > > You feel

compelled to file and organize things and thoughts, also > enjoy simplicity and

may become overwhelmed or even immobilized by > chaos, clutter, or stress. > >

You are very uncomfortable when feeling things are getting out of > your

control. > > You get a sense of comfort and well being when around a lake,

river, > stream, the ocean, or even a fountain. > > You experience mood swings,

sometimes occurring almost instantly and > can also be affected by other

people's moods, emotions and problems. > > You have a deep, rich, inner life,

are very spiritual and may also > frequently have vivid dreams, and possibly

nightmares. > > You are very intuitive and you feel that you can usually sense

if > someone isn't telling the truth or if something else is wrong. > > You get

concerned and worry about many things, and have also been > told " you take

things too personally. " > > You have had the experience of " cutting people out "

of your life. > > You were considered quiet, introverted, timid, or shy as a

child. > > Here are a few more to consider... Can be startled easily. Cautious >

in new situations. May have trouble sleeping. Extra sensitive to > pain. Don't

like crowds. Avoids violent movies and TV shows. Has a > deep respect and

appreciation of nature, music and art. > > Do some, or many, of these statements

ring true for you, your > partner, or someone important in your life? If so, you

or they may > be a highly sensitive person or " HSP. " > > Kelley>

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Hi Sylvia,

That is so true. I am just now starting to learn, accept, and be thankful for my

sensitivity.

Kelley

To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: smhtrain2@...: Thu, 3 Jan

2008 13:16:39 +0000Subject: Re: Is anyone a highly sensitive

person???

Hi Kelley,Yes, I fit the description of highly sensitive. But, my nada and fada

were so insensitive that they didn't have a clue - lol! There were times when I

was accused of taking things too personally, but other than that, my parents had

no idea of how much pain I was in as a child. And for the obvious things that

cause children pain, they didn't seem to care. My parents both had the idea that

children didn't have real feelings, and whatever was bothering a child, the

child got over and forgot about it very quickly. It was my therapist who finally

explained to me exactly how sensitive I was. I have often thought that many KOs

do fit the profile of being highly sensitive. I just posted recently about how I

must take alone and quite time for myself on a regular basis, otherwise I cannot

deal with all the emotional input I absorb. If you are HSP, it is very important

to take care of yourself, but since we are also KOs, we have to learn at a late

date how to do that. Sylvia >> I was always labeled by my Nada as

being withdrawn, painfully shy, > introverted, drama queen, overly sensitive

etc. She use to comment > on how I noticed the slighted smell and almost started

throwing up > if it was awful. I began to see some of these same qualities in my

> child when I was first introduced to the concept of being a Highly > Sensitive

Person. Here are the characteristics associated with being > Highly Sensitive

and I was wondering if other KO's also have these > characteristics?> > You,

have a heightened awareness of subtleties in your environment, > whether it's

sight, sound, touch, taste, or smell. > > You can become stressed out and upset

when overwhelmed and may find > it necessary to get away, maybe into a darkened

room, to seek > solitude, relief and comfort. > > You are very conscientious,

hard working, and meticulous, but may > become uncomfortable and less efficient

or productive when being > closely watched or scrutinized. > > You feel

compelled to file and organize things and thoughts, also > enjoy simplicity and

may become overwhelmed or even immobilized by > chaos, clutter, or stress. > >

You are very uncomfortable when feeling things are getting out of > your

control. > > You get a sense of comfort and well being when around a lake,

river, > stream, the ocean, or even a fountain. > > You experience mood swings,

sometimes occurring almost instantly and > can also be affected by other

people's moods, emotions and problems. > > You have a deep, rich, inner life,

are very spiritual and may also > frequently have vivid dreams, and possibly

nightmares. > > You are very intuitive and you feel that you can usually sense

if > someone isn't telling the truth or if something else is wrong. > > You get

concerned and worry about many things, and have also been > told " you take

things too personally. " > > You have had the experience of " cutting people out "

of your life. > > You were considered quiet, introverted, timid, or shy as a

child. > > Here are a few more to consider... Can be startled easily. Cautious >

in new situations. May have trouble sleeping. Extra sensitive to > pain. Don't

like crowds. Avoids violent movies and TV shows. Has a > deep respect and

appreciation of nature, music and art. > > Do some, or many, of these statements

ring true for you, your > partner, or someone important in your life? If so, you

or they may > be a highly sensitive person or " HSP. " > > Kelley>

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

I remember the sound of my mother's pocketbook so clearly as she would look

through it for her house keys after she'd turn the car off. I loved that

sound. The engine was silent, she was silent, the windows were up so the

outside

world was silent...nothing but the sound of her going through her pocket book.

I loved that " creamy " quiet sound. I only recently realized the reason I

liked it so much is because it was one of the only times she shut up and focused

on something other than me.

**************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.

http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489

[Guest guest]

I forgot to put at age 27 I learned to play the guitar, wrote songs, and by 29 I

performed at a coffee house. Nada showed up to cheer me on. I still play but am

finding it hard with a 3 year old who wants to play also (my guitar while I

play) and a 9 week old. However, I am excited that now I can play both piano and

guitar. She also told me I couldn't write and I have now published 4 articles in

nursing journals and 1 drug book for nurses. I am starting my second book a

study guide for pediatric nurses this week! Funny how in many ways I broke free

of her hold on me.

Kelley

To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: drlingirl@...: Thu, 3 Jan

2008 19:14:58 +0000Subject: Re: Is anyone a highly sensitive

person???

Wow Kelley.....what a sad story. I always wanted an Easy Bake Oven....she always

said NO. I showed her though.....I now have, a top of the line, stainless steel,

Easy Bake Oven, with all the bells and whistles!!!Thanks for sharing, and its

never too late for guitar lessons...........drlingirl> >> >

I was always labeled by my Nada as being withdrawn, painfully shy, > >

introverted, drama queen, overly sensitive etc. She use to comment > > on how I

noticed the slighted smell and almost started throwing up > > if it was awful. I

began to see some of these same qualities in my > > child when I was first

introduced to the concept of being a Highly > > Sensitive Person. Here are the

characteristics associated with > being > > Highly Sensitive and I was wondering

if other KO's also have these > > characteristics?> > > > You, have a heightened

awareness of subtleties in your > environment, > > whether it's sight, sound,

touch, taste, or smell. > > > > You can become stressed out and upset when

overwhelmed and may > find > > it necessary to get away, maybe into a darkened

room, to seek > > solitude, relief and comfort. > > > > You are very

conscientious, hard working, and meticulous, but may > > become uncomfortable

and less efficient or productive when being > > closely watched or scrutinized.

> > > > You feel compelled to file and organize things and thoughts, also > >

enjoy simplicity and may become overwhelmed or even immobilized by > > chaos,

clutter, or stress. > > > > You are very uncomfortable when feeling things are

getting out of > > your control. > > > > You get a sense of comfort and well

being when around a lake, > river, > > stream, the ocean, or even a fountain. >

> > > You experience mood swings, sometimes occurring almost instantly > and > >

can also be affected by other people's moods, emotions and > problems. > > > >

You have a deep, rich, inner life, are very spiritual and may also > >

frequently have vivid dreams, and possibly nightmares. > > > > You are very

intuitive and you feel that you can usually sense if > > someone isn't telling

the truth or if something else is wrong. > > > > You get concerned and worry

about many things, and have also been > > told " you take things too personally. "

> > > > You have had the experience of " cutting people out " of your life. > > >

> You were considered quiet, introverted, timid, or shy as a child. > > > > Here

are a few more to consider... Can be startled easily. > Cautious > > in new

situations. May have trouble sleeping. Extra sensitive to > > pain. Don't like

crowds. Avoids violent movies and TV shows. Has a > > deep respect and

appreciation of nature, music and art. > > > > Do some, or many, of these

statements ring true for you, your > > partner, or someone important in your

life? If so, you or they may > > be a highly sensitive person or " HSP. " > > > >

Kelley> >> > > > > > > >

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on Xbox 360. Click here for a special offer on an Xbox 360 Console.>

http://www.xbox.com/en-US/hardware/wheretobuy/> > [Non-text portions of this

message have been removed]>

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Don't get caught with egg on your face. Play Chicktionary!

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[Guest guest]

Read The Glass Castle. You just described the opening paragraphs of the book.

**************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.

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[Guest guest]

This is all too familiar ... with me, my mother wanted a ballet dancer and a

CLASSICAL piano player. I was lucky to have dance as it got me out of the house

and away from HER ... she was so clingy it was hard to get out for other

reasons. In high school I was in a semi-professional ballet company and also

went to a magnet high school for their dance program. Anytime I was interested

in dance besides ballet she would cut it down. We had modern and jazz there too.

When it came time to apply for colleges SHE restricted the list to universities

with good ballet programs, not those schools with those " ugly " or " weird " kinds

of dance. So I went to a school that emphasized ballet. Eventually I stopped

dancing ... now, I don't even like ballet. I find it so restrictive in it's

" there is one way to look and dance " mentality. What I do love are things like

modern and improv. And when it comes to piano I LOVE LOVE LOVE discordant,

improv jazz ... i love things that go outside of the

box and celebrate new ways and unique ways of being. Something my NADA was

never into. Instead of resigning herself to the fact that people have different

tastes, those things are simply " wrong " and " not good " end of story.

Anyway, I wonder now if I had been allowed to be free with piano for instance

if i would have stuck with it and played jazz perhaps?

But, life does come full circle sometimes and I am a painter now. I started

painting about 4 years ago when I was 32. My style is somewhere between

expressionism and surrealism. I am after the color and movement and vibrancy of

things. Wouldn't you know it ... when my mother saw my paintings she immediately

started talking about how I needed to do more representational stuff too. blah

blah blah. I told her to get a camera and take a picture if that's what she

wanted! HA! Also (back to my pet thread) she soon began requesting paintings of

" her babies " -- my " sisters " the CATS! As it that's going to happen. Stay out of

my painting and my business crazy lady and paint your own sh* & t is where I stand

when it comes to all that!

in short, my nada like yours, is all into what SHE would do. And what SHE

would do is she was me is THE right thing ...

oh so logical ....

--Crockett

drlingirl wrote:

Wow Kelley.....what a sad story.

I always wanted an Easy Bake Oven....she always said NO. I showed

her though.....I now have, a top of the line, stainless steel, Easy

Bake Oven, with all the bells and whistles!!!

Thanks for sharing, and its never too late for guitar

lessons...........drlingirl

> >> > I was always labeled by my Nada as being withdrawn,

painfully shy, > > introverted, drama queen, overly sensitive etc.

She use to comment > > on how I noticed the slighted smell and

almost started throwing up > > if it was awful. I began to see some

of these same qualities in my > > child when I was first introduced

to the concept of being a Highly > > Sensitive Person. Here are the

characteristics associated with > being > > Highly Sensitive and I

was wondering if other KO's also have these > > characteristics?> >

> > You, have a heightened awareness of subtleties in your >

environment, > > whether it's sight, sound, touch, taste, or smell.

> > > > You can become stressed out and upset when overwhelmed and

may > find > > it necessary to get away, maybe into a darkened room,

to seek > > solitude, relief and comfort. > > > > You are very

conscientious, hard working, and meticulous, but may > > become

uncomfortable and less efficient or productive when being > >

closely watched or scrutinized. > > > > You feel compelled to file

and organize things and thoughts, also > > enjoy simplicity and may

become overwhelmed or even immobilized by > > chaos, clutter, or

stress. > > > > You are very uncomfortable when feeling things are

getting out of > > your control. > > > > You get a sense of comfort

and well being when around a lake, > river, > > stream, the ocean,

or even a fountain. > > > > You experience mood swings, sometimes

occurring almost instantly > and > > can also be affected by other

people's moods, emotions and > problems. > > > > You have a deep,

rich, inner life, are very spiritual and may also > > frequently

have vivid dreams, and possibly nightmares. > > > > You are very

intuitive and you feel that you can usually sense if > > someone

isn't telling the truth or if something else is wrong. > > > > You

get concerned and worry about many things, and have also been > >

told " you take things too personally. " > > > > You have had the

experience of " cutting people out " of your life. > > > > You were

considered quiet, introverted, timid, or shy as a child. > > > >

Here are a few more to consider... Can be startled easily. >

Cautious > > in new situations. May have trouble sleeping. Extra

sensitive to > > pain. Don't like crowds. Avoids violent movies and

TV shows. Has a > > deep respect and appreciation of nature, music

and art. > > > > Do some, or many, of these statements ring true for

you, your > > partner, or someone important in your life? If so, you

or they may > > be a highly sensitive person or " HSP. " > > > >

Kelley> >>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________________

> The best games are on Xbox 360. Click here for a special offer on

an Xbox 360 Console.

> http://www.xbox.com/en-US/hardware/wheretobuy/

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kelley--

I think this is a very interesting point:

Sometimes I wonder where I would be now if they would have let me become who

God made me to be.

The New York Times had an interesting article on 'ghosts of regret' on New

Year's Day

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/01/health/research/01mind.html?_r=1 & oref=slogin.

The thrust was that each person has several lost possible selves and that often

what upsets us most in life is not what we have done but rather, what we haven't

done. I think this is uniquely true for children of BPs; we spend so much time

recovering and taking care of our lunatic parents that we enter the cycle of

adulthood much later than most people and with many more childhood scars and

impairments. I personally don't feel as though I became a complete person

(separate from my nada's identity) until I was 23 or 24. I continue to struggle

with frustration about where I would have been, given my unique talents, had I

had a somewhat normal or even average childhood.

The approach I've embraced is a Maya Angelou one: I wouldn't take my journey

back. It's been weird, dark, often horrible and sad but it's made me who I am,

scars and all, and sometimes I think it motivates me to achieve more than I

would be had everything been easy for me in life.

kelley ward wrote:

My Nada has always wanted to change me. She wanted me to be like her (outgoing,

loud, people pleasing etc.). I can remember her forcing me to talk to people I

didn't want to talk to. Now she credits herself for bringing me " out of my

shell " . She called me " painfully shy " . What does this mean? I think it was

painful for her to accept me for who I was which was different from her. My

sister is not sensitive and more like my mother in this way and my mother seemed

to accept her more. I believe it was my mother's mission to change me into a

mini her. I can remember begging to get guitar lessons and since this was not

something she liked she would only pay for piano lessons since she took piano

for 10 years and thought she could always be superior to me in this area. My

husband said to me the other day, " It seems like your family seldom got you what

you wanted (guitar, barbies, make believe toys). I said I know I just had to

create and make the toys myself. Now she talks about

how creative I was when I made my own line of makeup at age 8 out of paper,

sissors, and tape (because I didn't have anything else). Sometimes I wonder

where I would be now if they would have let me become who God made me to be.

Kelley

To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: writermanque@...: Thu, 3

Jan 2008 17:21:29 +0000Subject: Re: Is anyone a highly

sensitive person???

Wow, this is interesting. I fit this description, too, and seeing so many other

affirmatives on this thread I can't help but wonder how much is nature versus

(lack of) nurture. I too was always told I was too sensitive and needed to

develop a " thick skin " . Which leads me to wonder: why? Why do we need to develop

a thick skin? So other people can casually berate us without consequence? So no

one has to think about how their words or actions might hurt other people? I

mean, I know that there are people in this world that are going to be mean. But

I think if we teach sensitive kids how to appropriately communicate the

inappropriateness of the other's actions, rather than to shut up and suck it up,

the world might be a better place.> >> > I was always

labeled by my Nada as being withdrawn, painfully shy, > > introverted, drama

queen, overly sensitive etc. She use to comment > > on how I noticed the

slighted smell and almost started throwing up > > if it was awful. I began to

see some of these same qualities in my > > child when I was first introduced to

the concept of being a Highly > > Sensitive Person. Here are the characteristics

associated with > being > > Highly Sensitive and I was wondering if other KO's

also have these > > characteristics?> > > > You, have a heightened awareness of

subtleties in your > environment, > > whether it's sight, sound, touch, taste,

or smell. > > > > You can become stressed

out and upset when overwhelmed and may > find > > it necessary to get away,

maybe into a darkened room, to seek > > solitude, relief and comfort. > > > >

You are very conscientious, hard working, and meticulous, but may > > become

uncomfortable and less efficient or productive when being > > closely watched or

scrutinized. > > > > You feel compelled to file and organize things and

thoughts, also > > enjoy simplicity and may become overwhelmed or even

immobilized by > > chaos, clutter, or stress. > > > > You are very uncomfortable

when feeling things are getting out of > > your control. > > > > You get a sense

of comfort and well being when around a lake, > river, > > stream, the ocean, or

even a fountain. > > > > You experience mood swings, sometimes occurring almost

instantly > and > > can also be affected by other people's moods, emotions and >

problems. > > > > You have a deep, rich, inner life, are very spiritual and may

also > > frequently have vivid dreams, and

possibly nightmares. > > > > You are very intuitive and you feel that you can

usually sense if > > someone isn't telling the truth or if something else is

wrong. > > > > You get concerned and worry about many things, and have also been

> > told " you take things too personally. " > > > > You have had the experience

of " cutting people out " of your life. > > > > You were considered quiet,

introverted, timid, or shy as a child. > > > > Here are a few more to

consider... Can be startled easily. > Cautious > > in new situations. May have

trouble sleeping. Extra sensitive to > > pain. Don't like crowds. Avoids violent

movies and TV shows. Has a > > deep respect and appreciation of nature, music

and art. > > > > Do some, or many, of these statements ring true for you, your >

> partner, or someone important in your life? If so, you or they may > > be a

highly sensitive person or " HSP. " > > > > Kelley> >>

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[Guest guest]

I'm not sure why but this post really upset me. I know I've read worse, more

abusive ones, but the idea of a queasy, clueless, powder-covered five year old

wandering around a silent house made me almost cry-

kylaboo728 wrote: Wow -- you showed her! I'm

jealous!!!

I remember getting an Easy Bake oven, and when I was little, I still

distinctly remember my mom sleeping in while I was left to my own

devices and I got into the Easy Bake mixes and just ate the powder. I

still remember that it made me sick. I know I was really young, maybe

5 years old? And looking back as a mom myself, I can now see that I

wasn't important enough for her to get out of bed for. She kept doing

that even when my brother and I were going to elementary school. I

just can't even imagine doing that to my kids -- even now, when

they're 12 and 13, I get up and make their breakfast. (Although, they

DO let me sleep in a little on non-school days!)

Every time I see an Easy-Bake oven, I remember how I was left alone in

the mornings.

-Kyla

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

,

At 29 I was diagnosed with autoimmune type 1 diabetes. My mom has an autoimmune

disease also. My research (I am a nurse) has shown that autoimmune diseases and

cancer are often impacted by stress. I truly believe the stressful enviornment I

was raised in highly influenced my getting diabetes.

Kelley

To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: monicameek@...: Thu, 3 Jan

2008 19:11:02 -0800Subject: Re: Is anyone a highly sensitive

person???

I am also very sensitive. In fact my life revolves around smells. I know that

sounds weird but, I am so in tune to certain smells that relate to places and

times. When I was pregnant I made sure I used body items with smells I

absolutely loved and would take me back to that time, when I smelled them in the

future. I am also sensitive in other ways and suffer from migraines. It is

funny, when I was thirteen I was diagnosed with Leukemia. I remember telling my

nada I thought I got Leukemia from all the stress in our lives. Of course they

do not know what causes Leukemia and a lot of kids from mentally stable families

are diagnosed with Leukemia. I guess by thirteen my nada had already caused me

so much stress.---------------------------------Looking for last minute shopping

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[Guest guest]

Crockett,

After reading your post I thought your mom wants everything to be dead, borning,

and rigid (she's scared of change). You however want your life to be alive,

open, and bright (you embrace change). What a wonderful transformation!

Kelley

To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: crockettfox@...: Thu, 3 Jan

2008 12:46:58 -0800Subject: Re: Re: Is anyone a highly

sensitive person???

This is all too familiar ... with me, my mother wanted a ballet dancer and a

CLASSICAL piano player. I was lucky to have dance as it got me out of the house

and away from HER ... she was so clingy it was hard to get out for other

reasons. In high school I was in a semi-professional ballet company and also

went to a magnet high school for their dance program. Anytime I was interested

in dance besides ballet she would cut it down. We had modern and jazz there too.

When it came time to apply for colleges SHE restricted the list to universities

with good ballet programs, not those schools with those " ugly " or " weird " kinds

of dance. So I went to a school that emphasized ballet. Eventually I stopped

dancing ... now, I don't even like ballet. I find it so restrictive in it's

" there is one way to look and dance " mentality. What I do love are things like

modern and improv. And when it comes to piano I LOVE LOVE LOVE discordant,

improv jazz ... i love things that go outside of thebox and celebrate new ways

and unique ways of being. Something my NADA was never into. Instead of resigning

herself to the fact that people have different tastes, those things are simply

" wrong " and " not good " end of story. Anyway, I wonder now if I had been allowed

to be free with piano for instance if i would have stuck with it and played jazz

perhaps?But, life does come full circle sometimes and I am a painter now. I

started painting about 4 years ago when I was 32. My style is somewhere between

expressionism and surrealism. I am after the color and movement and vibrancy of

things. Wouldn't you know it ... when my mother saw my paintings she immediately

started talking about how I needed to do more representational stuff too. blah

blah blah. I told her to get a camera and take a picture if that's what she

wanted! HA! Also (back to my pet thread) she soon began requesting paintings of

" her babies " -- my " sisters " the CATS! As it that's going to happen. Stay out of

my painting and my business crazy lady and paint your own sh* & t is where I stand

when it comes to all that!in short, my nada like yours, is all into what SHE

would do. And what SHE would do is she was me is THE right thing ... oh so

logical ....--Crockettdrlingirl wrote:Wow Kelley.....what

a sad story. I always wanted an Easy Bake Oven....she always said NO. I showed

her though.....I now have, a top of the line, stainless steel, Easy Bake Oven,

with all the bells and whistles!!!Thanks for sharing, and its never too late for

guitar lessons...........drlingirl> >> > I was always labeled by my Nada as being withdrawn,

painfully shy, > > introverted, drama queen, overly sensitive etc. She use to

comment > > on how I noticed the slighted smell and almost started throwing up >

> if it was awful. I began to see some of these same qualities in my > > child

when I was first introduced to the concept of being a Highly > > Sensitive

Person. Here are the characteristics associated with > being > > Highly

Sensitive and I was wondering if other KO's also have these > >

characteristics?> > > > You, have a heightened awareness of subtleties in your >

environment, > > whether it's sight, sound, touch, taste, or smell. > > > > You

can become stressed out and upset when overwhelmed and may > find > > it

necessary to get away, maybe into a darkened room, to seek > > solitude, relief

and comfort. > > > > You are very conscientious, hard working, and meticulous,

but may > > become uncomfortable and less efficient or productive when being > >

closely watched or scrutinized. > > > > You feel compelled to file and organize

things and thoughts, also > > enjoy simplicity and may become overwhelmed or

even immobilized by > > chaos, clutter, or stress. > > > > You are very

uncomfortable when feeling things are getting out of > > your control. > > > >

You get a sense of comfort and well being when around a lake, > river, > >

stream, the ocean, or even a fountain. > > > > You experience mood swings,

sometimes occurring almost instantly > and > > can also be affected by other

people's moods, emotions and > problems. > > > > You have a deep, rich, inner

life, are very spiritual and may also > > frequently have vivid dreams, and

possibly nightmares. > > > > You are very intuitive and you feel that you can

usually sense if > > someone isn't telling the truth or if something else is

wrong. > > > > You get concerned and worry about many things, and have also been

> > told " you take things too personally. " > > > > You have had the experience

of " cutting people out " of your life. > > > > You were considered quiet,

introverted, timid, or shy as a child. > > > > Here are a few more to

consider... Can be startled easily. > Cautious > > in new situations. May have

trouble sleeping. Extra sensitive to > > pain. Don't like crowds. Avoids violent

movies and TV shows. Has a > > deep respect and appreciation of nature, music

and art. > > > > Do some, or many, of these statements ring true for you, your >

> partner, or someone important in your life? If so, you or they may > > be a

highly sensitive person or " HSP. " > > > > Kelley> >> > > > > > > >

__________________________________________________________> The best games are

on Xbox 360. Click here for a special offer on an Xbox 360 Console.>

http://www.xbox.com/en-US/hardware/wheretobuy/> > [Non-text portions of this

message have been removed]>---------------------------------Be a better friend,

newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.[Non-text portions of

this message have been removed]

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[Guest guest]

That's a great idea! I'll try those. Thanks, Carla!

Re: Is anyone a highly sensitive person???

Jae,

I have really sensitive ears. The irony is I am also slightly hard of hearing.

My son loves to go

to Chuck E Cheese to run around and play video games. I get a headache from the

noise. I

also dislike airplane noise. I found these squishy foam earplugs made by Nexus

(the bandage

maker). They look like little orange offspring of the Michelin man. when I wear

them it

blocks all the irritating noise but I can still hear voices. I even think that I

hear voices better

when I wear them in the high noise situations. There is another maker that makes

them in

flesh tone, so less noticeable. I know I feel less anxious when I wear them.

Not sure if that is an option for you but worth a try?

Carla

________________________________________________________________________________\

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[Guest guest]

I didn't realize her hold on me until I had already written my book. I think in

my career I separated myself somewhat (because I am a nursing professor and she

is a teacher) since she didn't have a clue about my field of expertise. Thanks

for bringing this to mind. I didn't realize I had separated from her that way.

My advice is do it for yourself and don't tell her if she criticizes you. Then

when you finish you can be proud of what you did for yourself.

Kelley

To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: qwerty.zanderson@...: Sat,

5 Jan 2008 20:05:54 +0000Subject: Re: Is anyone a highly

sensitive person???

How do you manage to do that? I write too (on the web), and I'd liketo publish a

book eventually. But lately I've been feeling bogged downand blocked. I think my

nada has to do with it. I don't want her toknow about what I write--I don't want

to hear her criticism or herlame, belated praise. How do you get to the point

where you don'tworry about that anymore?qwerty> kelley ward

wrote:> > I forgot to put at age 27 I learned to play the guitar, wrote

songs,and by 29 I performed at a coffee house. Nada showed up to cheer meon. I

still play but am finding it hard with a 3 year old who wants toplay also (my

guitar while I play) and a 9 week old. However, I amexcited that now I can play

both piano and guitar. She also told me Icouldn't write and I have now published

4 articles in nursing journalsand 1 drug book for nurses. I am starting my

second book a study guidefor pediatric nurses this week! Funny how in many ways

I broke free ofher hold on me.> > Kelley

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[Guest guest]

WOW one of those threads that gave me chills! I am so freakishly sensitive to

the sound of eating. It's my biggest neurosis and I often feel guilty about it

because it causes me to snap at my friends who obliviously smack their gum or

bite their forks. It always takes them aback as I'm an otherwise quite serene

person!

I tried to figure out why I hate the sound so much, in light of this thread

(and consulting my boyfriend who is frankly sick of me rolling my eyes at his

parents who insist on shouting with their mouths full), he thinks it could have

something to do with the intimacy of eating. I think that's possible but I also

think I'm just super sensitive to sound. I used to hate the din of arguing in

my house and was acutely aware of that--I think I was also just uncommonly

attuned to nada's tiniest changes in order to meet her constant needs (I was

trained to be a slave princess from a young age).

I love that I have fellow sound-of-eating freaks out there! Relating this to

nada gives me motivation to kill this flea once and for all. I don't want to

be mad at my own kids for smacking and spitting food--all kids do it and while

it may be gross, I certainly don't want to freak out at them-

kylaboo728 wrote:

Oh, my goodness, I thought I was the only one that got annoyed at the

sound of people eating! Not everybody -- but certain people.

Also, my skin is extremely sensitive -- Not only can I NOT wear wool,

I am so sensitive to it that it bothers me to be with OTHER people

wearing wool!

I can't stand my hands or feet to be dried out -- I always have shoes

on, no matter where I am. Even if it's just flip flops in the house

or at the beach, my soles are covered....

I think my sensitivity is why I have an aversion to crowds, too.

-Kyla

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[Guest guest]

One of my nada's worst traits is her insistence on not only controlling and

judging friendships but completely scripting (ahead of time) what I'm supposed

to say to everyone! Often to apologize for something I " did " (her causing us to

leave the house late and then focing me to apologize to whoever we were late

for) and also my apologies to her. They were never good enough the way I said

them, she always had lay out an exact script and then I would drone it back to

her without meaning a word of it. Yet, it was often all it took to appease her.

Yuck!

She does it incessantly with stepdad. All during the break he kept having to

come into my room holding her hand to say things like " I'm sorry I'm not a good

husband to your mom. She has the patience of Job! I'm going to try harder. "

and then he'd look down at her for the next cue and so on and so on.

He doesn't mean a word of it either but we've both learned to do it

automatically just to keep the peace, it's one of her favorite controlling

mechanisms...

qz wrote:

OMG... my nada did the same thing to me with my best friend. Not only

that, she made me get off the phone while my friend was still *on the

other end* so she could berate me for not standing up for myself. How

did she know? Why she was listening in on my private conversation, of

course!

qwerty

>

>

> Your story sounds much like mine. I too was forced to do things I

didn't want to do i.e. call a friend who had done something mean to me

in the 8th grade and tell her what I thought while my mother stood

there telling me what to say. She still prides herself for getting me

out of my shell. I think it wasn't her abuse that made me creative but

that I was born creative and I had to put my creativity aside in order

to become who she wanted me to be as a child.

>

> Kelley

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