Re: Borderline Parents and Being Compared to Pets?

[Guest guest]

Hi Crockett, and welcome. My nada didn't do this, so I have nothing

to compare it with. I have never heard it put as an attachment to

pets, but I can see where a BP would enjoy having the affection pets

show to their owners.

Sylvia

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> Hello. I am new to this list and happy to be here. Like others,

hearing stories that " sound like mine " is interesting. I have been

aware of my mother's craziness for years (recently through the help

of my partner put the borderline label on it ... he is a

psychologist). In any case, she is definitely bpd and sooo many

things make " sense " about my childhood when seen through the bpd

lense.

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> One thing I am curious about ... and it relates to bpds'

tendency to form attachments (beyond the norm) with inanimate things

or pets. When I was a child my nada would actually compare me to the

cats. As in " Cleo is nicer than you. " " Rebel loves me more than you

do! " " Cleo is a better daughter! " etc. etc. To this day when we

talk, which isn't often, much of the focus is on cats and she will

even try to get me to talk to my " sisters " over the phone! (I hope

you are laughing as this is so ludicrous you have to laugh.) So my

question: anyone else grow up being compared to pets or have nadas

or fadas with pet issues?

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> Peace out and happy 2008,

> Crockett

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[Guest guest]

Crockett,

My mother definitely has pet issues. She has become a " cat " lady the

past several years. She overfeeds the cats as well as a small dog of

mine that I gave her, and my sister and I say that she " munchausens "

the pets, taking them to the vet constantly, always saying they're

sick. she also is very anti-hunting, and denigrates anyone who

hunts. She recently told me she hates my father's relatives b/c they

hunt and are farmers, and she thinks it's " mean " for the cows to be

outside in the winter.

sometimes on the phone all she will talk about is her cats. this is

when there is something " real " going on, like my sister recovering

from surgery or my daughter's recent event at school, etc. she also

harasses me about whether i've fed the stray cats outside my apt.

i think part of this is an attempt to show how " nice " they are, how

caring.

Joanna

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