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ty barbara

I am treating lyme you know i dont know why this happens but theres somedays like today i think of death see myself dead things like that i am as sane as they come just dont understand why these thoughts come into my head...

Does anyone get thoughts of death in there head when treating?Is this normal?Even if your not suicidal?

ty

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Ya man, the stage of sickness you are at is frightening sickness. Lyme is well

known to cause depression. At times it can be very isolating, sometimes

terrifying, you are not alone in this aspect. Also, I feel you on how it

affects relationships. It is very unforutunate and terrible that as sick as we

become, it is not evident to others except if they closely study your face and

habits. Even then, they can never know. I would wish I would have fever or be

vomiting, but no, just shaking inside where no one can see. Push through man,

you will get better.

>

> Does anyone get thoughts of death in there head when treating?Is this

normal?Even if your not suicidal?

>

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Terry there is somcomponent of the bacterias of lyme and of bartonella that cause depression and sometrimes range and other unpredictable emotions.So yes ,over the years there have been a number of people with thoughts of death would be better than this suffering.. .If you need to antidepressants help until the bacteria load goes low enough.Im proud to say, that after all these years i am almost completely off antidepressants.i still have days and my hormones are starting to mess with me lol and I just discovered that Im still in emotional herx mode after taking houttuynia, which means there may still be some bartonella infection left ( although I think its mostly hormonal at this point .What Im trying to say is that depression and rage and any number of emotions are part of the disease and also part of

being with a long term illness in general.jan dont read into this to much Death Posted by: "Terence B" candlemn42@... candlemn42@... Date: Sun Jul 22, 2012 1:21 pm ((PDT))Does anyone get thoughts of death in there head when treating?Is this normal?Even if your not suicidal? "Im not trying to counsel any of you to do anything really special,except to dare to think, and to dare to go with the truth ,and to dare to love completely." -R. Buckminster Fullerhttp://www.purposefairy.com/4899/15-powerful-things-happy-people-do-differently/

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jan it not so much depression just crazy bizarre thoughts i see myself dead sometimes scares the crap outta me and i have all my marbles here

Subject: dont read into this to much DeathTo: "Lyme_and_Rife " <Lyme_and_Rife >Date: Sunday, July 22, 2012, 11:05 PM

Terry

there is somcomponent of the bacterias of lyme and of bartonella that cause depression and sometrimes range and other unpredictable emotions.So yes ,over the years there have been a number of people with thoughts of death would be better than this suffering.. .If you need to antidepressants help until the bacteria load goes low enough.Im proud to say, that after all these years i am almost completely off antidepressants.i still have days and my hormones are starting to mess with me lol and I just discovered that Im still in emotional herx mode after taking houttuynia, which means there may still be some bartonella infection left ( although I think its mostly hormonal at this point .What Im trying to say is that depression and rage and any number of emotions are part of the disease and also part of being with a long term illness in general.

jan

dont read into this to much Death Posted by: "Terence B" candlemn42@... candlemn42@... Date: Sun Jul 22, 2012 1:21 pm ((PDT))Does anyone get thoughts of death in there head when treating?Is this normal?Even if your not suicidal?

"Im not trying to counsel any of you to do anything really special,except to dare to think, and to dare to go with the truth ,and to dare to love completely." -R. Buckminster Fuller

http://www.purposefairy.com/4899/15-powerful-things-happy-people-do-differently/

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hi again on this post,when i was going through abx treatments, they hit babs and bart hard with extra 'goodies'.  my husband was afraid of me.  one night i thought i would lose it and went upstairs for his protection.  i really paced the floor frantically trying to get this rage to stop.  i thought i was going nuts also. it was so overwhelming.  i couldn't see beyond it.  and, each time i herx with these two, i still get this feeling, though it is more like irritability now as the load is lower. i understand lyme can be similar.

keep telling yourself you will be ok.  also, try this.  take your right hand and tap your left knee, or do the reverse.  sounds weird, but what you are doing is using both sides of your brain at the same time, keeping them busy so they can go off on the bizarre thoughts.  your r. hand is controlled by the l. side of your brain, and when you tap your l. knee, it gets the attention of the r. side of your brain.  

my daughter was told to do this by her 'really good counselor' when she had obsessive thoughts at night and couldn't sleep..  i have tried this and it works.  you can alter the tapping pattern, or be consistent.  i have fallen asleep many a nights with this trick.

also, i have tried singing old hymns that i have known all my life and this comforts me.  for those who this would not work for, try a song that is a very favorite, comforting song you know well.  sometimes i can only remember the chorus and i sing it over and over and over.  it gets my mind on something 'safe' and is distracting.  concentrate on the words.  so you better make it a positive song.

let me know if any of this worksbarbara

 

jan it not so much depression just crazy bizarre thoughts i see myself dead sometimes scares the crap outta me and i have all my marbles here

Subject: dont read into this to much Death

To: " Lyme_and_Rife " <Lyme_and_Rife >

Date: Sunday, July 22, 2012, 11:05 PM

 

Terry

 there is somcomponent of the bacterias of lyme and of bartonella that cause depression and sometrimes range and other unpredictable emotions.So yes  ,over the years there have been a number of people with thoughts of death would be better than this suffering.. .If you need to antidepressants help until the bacteria load goes low enough.Im proud to say, that after all these years i am almost completely off antidepressants.i still have days and my hormones are starting to mess with me lol and I just discovered that Im still in emotional herx mode after taking houttuynia, which means there may still be some bartonella infection left ( although I think its mostly hormonal at this point .What Im trying to say is that depression and rage and any number of emotions are part of the disease and also part of being  with a long term illness in general.

jan

dont read into this to much Death    Posted by: " Terence B " candlemn42@... candlemn42@...

    Date: Sun Jul 22, 2012 1:21 pm ((PDT))Does anyone get thoughts of death in there head when treating?Is this normal?Even if your not suicidal?

 

" Im not trying to counsel any of you to do anything really special,except to dare to think, and to dare to go with the truth ,and to dare to love completely. " -R. Buckminster Fuller

http://www.purposefairy.com/4899/15-powerful-things-happy-people-do-differently/

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Hi Terry,

MMS kills mold in and out of the body...

After Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, much of the mold was cleaned up using

chlorine dioxide,

this is what MMS becomes once it is activated with a food acid, typically Citric

acid...

http://www.zimbio.com/Blackmold+and+Mildew,+Treatment+and+Removal/articles/9HvGR\

Rpqmwk/Mold+removal+Clean+Water+Healthy+Living+Miracle

http://www.mmsfacts.com/clean-out-the-viruses-mold-bacteria-with-mms

Take care,

Jim

>

>

>

> Subject: Re: dont read into this to much Death

> To: " Lyme_and_Rife " <Lyme_and_Rife >

> Date: Monday, July 23, 2012, 5:17 PM

>

>

>

>  

>

>

>

>

>

> No cholestapure is not the same as cholestyrimine but good luck.Cholestapure

is plant sterols.It did not do anything for me, but I hope it might help

you.This is the product I told you was likely a waste of money , But well it was

a waste for me ,it may not be for you..Its supposed to neutralize toxins , but I

haveent heard too many success stories with it.Perhaps you will be one of the

lucky ones

>

>

>

> Re: dont read into this to much Death

>     Posted by: " T.B " candlemn42@... candlemn42@...

>     Date: Mon Jul 23, 2012 9:45 am ((PDT))

>

> ok i just read a product called cholestepure will bind mold just as well as

the pharm drug ..Also good for lyme toxins.I just ordered some

>  

> " Im not trying to counsel any of you to do anything

> really special,except to dare to think, and to dare to go with the truth ,and

to dare to love completely. " -R. Buckminster Fuller

>

>

>

>

>

http://www.purposefairy.com/4899/15-powerful-things-happy-people-do-differently/

>

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Yes Terry. the lymph glands swelling means they have built up toxins in them and are trying to fight.That is why one opr two products you take must be directed at lymph clearing , like burbur or red root or natures trust blood/lymph cleanse and taking the bindersThese will flush the toxins out ofthe lymph and allow the binders to pick them up.Also doing milk thistle combination herbs is helpful to keep your livers ability to detox well is important JanRe: dont read into this to much Death Posted by: "T.B" candlemn42@... candlemn42@... Date: Tue Jul 24, 2012 5:32 pm ((PDT))uh

huh i was ill like this before coiling but now am worse and now i have been under my armpit seems like a lymph gland or something..Has this happened to anyone else? "Im not trying to counsel any of you to do anything really special,except to dare to think, and to dare to go with the truth ,and to dare to love completely." -R. Buckminster Fullerhttp://www.purposefairy.com/4899/15-powerful-things-happy-people-do-differently/

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Terry, a Herxheimer response or reaction is something you should probably read up on.That is shortened to herx for our purposes.But its common in many illnesses.Short definition is that when a bacteria like lyme dies off, its cell wall degrades and it releases neurotoxins into the blood stream.These herxheimer neurotoxins are the toxins that then get held in blood and lymph. move through the blood into the liver or kidneys , then the intestines.The herxheimer is an effect that when the cell dies it causes an increase in symptoms..This is what is happening to youA rebounder or vibration machine ( BTW a rebounder is just a mini trampoline that you gently bounce on) will still release the lymph fluid that is filled with toxins into the blood this the purpose of detoxing and

binders Again a herxheimer is what makes you feel worse before you can feel better and this is a cycle that plays out with lyme disease.Any treatment you take with lyme will make you feel worse before you feel better.So study a herxheimer reaction, so that you understand the illness you have and the healing process you must go through I know its rough going , But in this illness you will have to get used to the feeling of feeling worse before you feel better.Any worthwhile LLMD will tell you the same thing..i understand that you dont understand this feel worse before you feel better thing, which is why you need to educate yourself on the herxheimer . It sucks , we all go through it .detox helps the feel worse part last a shorter amount of time than if you do nothing.I know you want to feel better, but that is a bit down the road yet.Even now 9 years later from

starting treatment i get the light headed brain fog no balance issues when I herx , but after detoxing, the toxins that make me feel this way ,and getting them out of my body I feel much better.You will too, eventually , but you do have to go through a bit of suffering first. We are all trying to help you reduce the suffering part, but we all have also learned that lessening suffering comes through detox. I apologize if I seemed harsh in my last email to you, but I am trying to help you understand the damn nature of this illness and how we have all learned to heal.That is why I asked the question i did . In this illness you simply cannot give up because that makes the toxins take hold and make you feel even worse.You have a lot of toxic build up in your body .Thus you have a lot of feeling worse to go through before you feel better.We are trying to show you the way to feeling

better.janSubject: Re: dont read into this to much Death> To: Lyme_and_Rife > Date: Wednesday, July 25, 2012, 7:05 PM> > > > Â > > > > > Hi Terry,> > Getting worse from Coiling or any killing protocol is usually a herx reaction....> > This is killing too many pathogens too quickly and you become more toxic> until this clears out of you...> > Do you have a "rebounder" or Whole Body Vibration machine, both are good> for moving Lymph fluids... I think WalMart sells rebounds for under $50.> > Take care,> Jim "Im not trying to counsel any of you to do anything really special,except to dare to think,

and to dare to go with the truth ,and to dare to love completely." -R. Buckminster Fullerhttp://www.purposefairy.com/4899/15-powerful-things-happy-people-do-differently/

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Hi Terry,

I agree with Jan, and I've been in treatment since 2000. I understand the herx

intellectually, and I accept that my life is often uncomfortable and

unpredictably. But emotionally it's depressing and doesn't compute. It's not

fair, and I accept that life isn't fair, but it is hard to understand.

Understanding does help, though! We're lucky that there's now plenty of

explanations available to us. In 2000 there wasn't much at all.

Khaya

>

>

>

>

> Terry, a Herxheimer response or reaction is something you should probably read

up on.That is shortened to herx for our purposes.But its common in many

illnesses.Short definition is that when a bacteria like lyme dies off, its cell

wall degrades and it releases neurotoxins into the blood stream.These herxheimer

neurotoxins are the toxins that then get held in blood and lymph. move through

the blood into the liver or kidneys , then the intestines.The herxheimer is an

effect that when the cell dies it causes an increase in symptoms..This is what

is happening to you

> A rebounder or vibration machine ( BTW a rebounder is just a mini trampoline

that you gently bounce on) will still release the lymph fluid that is filled

with toxins into the blood this the purpose of detoxing and binders

>

>  

> Again a herxheimer is what makes you feel worse before you can feel better and

this is a cycle that plays out with lyme disease.Any treatment you take with

lyme will make you feel worse before you feel better.

>

> So study a herxheimer reaction, so that you understand the illness you have

and the healing process you must go through  I know its rough going , But in

this illness you will have to get used to the feeling of feeling worse before

you feel better.Any worthwhile LLMD will tell you the same thing

>

> ..i understand that you dont understand this feel worse before you feel better

thing, which is why you need to educate yourself on the herxheimer . It sucks ,

we all go through it .detox helps the feel worse part last a shorter amount of

time than if you do nothing.I know you want to feel better, but that is a bit

down the road yet.Even now 9 years later from starting treatment i get the light

headed brain fog no balance issues when I herx , but after detoxing, the toxins

that make me feel this way  ,and getting them out of my body  I feel much

better.

> You will too, eventually , but you do have to go through a bit of suffering

first. We are all trying to help you reduce the suffering part, but we all have

also learned that lessening suffering comes through detox. I apologize if I

seemed harsh in my last email to you, but I am trying to help you understand the

damn nature of this illness and how we have all learned to heal.That is why I

asked the question i did . In this illness you simply cannot give up  because

that makes the toxins take hold and make you feel even worse.You have a lot of

toxic build up  in your body .Thus you have a lot of feeling worse to go through

before you feel better.We are trying to show you the way to feeling better.

>

> jan

>

>

>

>

>

> Subject: Re: dont read into this to much Death

> > To: Lyme_and_Rife

> > Date: Wednesday, July 25, 2012, 7:05 PM

> >

> >

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Hi Terry,

> >

> > Getting worse from Coiling or any killing protocol is usually a herx

reaction....

> >

> > This is killing too many pathogens too quickly and you become more toxic

> > until this clears out of you...

> >

> > Do you have a " rebounder " or Whole Body Vibration machine, both are good

> > for moving Lymph fluids... I think WalMart sells rebounds for under $50.

> >

> > Take care,

> > Jim

>  

> " Im not trying to counsel any of you to do anything

> really special,except to dare to think, and to dare to go with the truth ,and

to dare to love completely. " -R. Buckminster Fuller

>

>

>

>

>

http://www.purposefairy.com/4899/15-powerful-things-happy-people-do-differently/

>

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Okay so you understand that a herxheimer response is due to the release of toxins into your blood and lymph when the bacteria dies , yes? You then get a rise in symptoms when you release the toxins from where the body stores them when you take the detoxifier.This is actually a good sign, i ttells you that the detox agent you took has worked because of the temporary release of toxins out of the places it is stored. so while they are released from the stored areas they cause you symptoms. It is a normal response and part of the detox process.How soon after taking the detoxifier are you getting the worsening symptoms? What might work is for you to take the binder immediately after feeling the symptoms come on. or even Right before they

do,once you figure out exactly how soon they come on.Now keep in mind , that the released toxins are dumped into the bloodstream and have to go to the liver and/or kidneys and into the intestines before they are bound by the binder, so it might take an hour or so to clear.This again is a normal response .Again its a you must feel worse before you feel better thing.It feel lousy I know, but having the toxins store up feels worse over time .Give your body and the detox agent and binder time to work.You have a lot , a huge amount, of stored toxins from this disease.Its going to take time and some discomfort before they clear enough that you are only getting toxins from a current herx.Over time after you have detoxed daily you wont have the light headed brain foggy feeling all the time .You might have to do the process of detoxifier /binder a couple of times before the

toxins that were released get completely mopped up.The other thing is that if its mostly head symptoms you get when this happens then taking something that addresses neutralizing ammonia might be what is needed Source Naturals, K Mag KG is a product that I have mentioned several times that neutralizes ammonia toxins.I had a LLMD tell me that brain fog/lightheadedness is most often ammonia in the brain.,so its something you might want to try..There are other products out there that supposedly neutralize ammonia and I have tried a couple of them.Thus far K mag Kg is the best one I have found, although I do have to take a high dose of three tablets.Sometimes I have to take a detoxifier and then K mag Kg at least twice before all the ammonia released is taken care of.Sometimes( for me anyways) kudzu is also helpful in that it makes circulation in the brain better and clears up some of the light headed feeling like

you are getting.Terry ,it is simply the process of how this all works and I am well aware that it is frustrating , There have been many times I have wanted to just throw my hands up in the air and give up ( usually when I have a bad brainfog herx going on and forget what it is i take to make it better).But I keep on doing it despite the fact it feels crappy, because i feel better within hours of doing the detox process and again the things that will help you not feel so crappy during the process is the building up of your immune system and adrenals with herbs and supplements support the liver function with herbs and detox Yes the amounts of capsules of stuff or tinctures that we take is staggering.My morning pill case has 20-25 capsules, tablets, etc in it.plus I use a lot of transdermal magnesium oil because it helps the body function ( this one is easy to forget

to do some days) better in just about every system of the body. again for you it may be getting the timing right for your needs but do try to understand the biological process that takes place which makes you feel worse before you feel better.It is mind boggling I know , but try sticking with it for several months and I am sure you will see a difference in how you are able to function and just being able to be clear headed for a few hours a day would probably be a huge relief for you..I know it was for me.Re: dont read into this to much Death Posted by: "T.B" candlemn42@... candlemn42@... Date: Fri Jul 27, 2012 12:12 pm ((PDT))Heres

where you are missing the point.I am well aware of what a herx is my problem is when i take a detoxifier the herx is worse i am more symptomatic..Now if the detoxifier is suppose to lessen the effects of the herx why is it exculating mine and i am taking a binder 45 minuetes after a detoxifier... Posted by: "T.B" candlemn42@... candlemn42@... Date: Fri Jul 27, 2012 12:12 pm ((PDT))Heres

where you are missing the point.I am well aware of what a herx is my problem is when i take a detoxifier the herx is worse i am more symptomatic..Now if the detoxifier is suppose to lessen the effects of the herx why is it exculating mine and i am taking a binder 45 minuetes after a detoxifier... "Im not trying to counsel any of you to do anything really special,except to dare to think, and to dare to go with the truth ,and to dare to love completely." -R. Buckminster Fullerhttp://www.purposefairy.com/4899/15-powerful-things-happy-people-do-differently/

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