Re: Beyond Fed Up with Nada

[Guest guest]

You should report it, seriously. Here's the national center for elder

abuse web page, with resources by state.

http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/ncearoot/Main_Site/index.aspx

Honestly, this isn't just a matter of your feelings about her, but

about the care that your father is receiving. Think of it this way, if

(god forbid) something were to happen where he died in dubious

circumstances, and there was evidence of neglect or abuse, and it was

known that you knew about it and said nothing, you would be

potentially liable as an accomplice.

Think of it this way, if it wasn't your father and nada, if you were,

say, walking through a nursing home and you saw this going on would

you report it? If you were in a foster home or nursery and saw this

kind of behaviour, would you report it? Doesn't your dad deserve the

same legal protection that a stranger would?

Delta

>

> So this morning I'm over my limit. She made the man walk in extreme

> pain from the bedroom to the living room all because she didn't want

> the paramedics in her bedroom (which is a sight that I'm sure she's

> ashamed of and should be).Once again he is abused to meet her own

> needs. Knowing that I wouldn't allow this to happen she had me put

> salt on the driveway to distract me. I confronted her on what she

> did and she said nothing. Then I really gave her a piece of my mind

> and told her what she does to him. She finally cried and I felt

> better.

I also want

> to report the abuse. What do you guys think????

>

[Guest guest]

This sounds so familiar to me! My father died one year ago. He was

10 years older than my nada and the caregiver for me and my sister

growing up, as well as my nada's personal slave and punching bag, for

over 40 years until his health began to fail at age 70. He still did

much of the housework, driving, bill-paying, etc. until age 76 or so

when he went on peritoneal dialysis. Then, he was in and out of the

hospital and briefly in a nursing home, where she would interfere with

and sabotage physical therapy, etc. He was in ICU for 6 weeks last

year, and she wouldn't consider hospice care, b/c " she didn't want to

lose him. " The man was suffering! Then at the nursing home she made

an ass of herself, complaining constantly, etc. This is no joke - he

was a dialysis patient, and as such, was given a list of 10 foods to

avoid. These are high phosphorus foods, and the list included peanut

butter, ice cream, pancakes, cola drinks, yellow cheese, hot dogs.

would you believe, that once he could no longer cook (he did ALL the

cooking), she fed him EXCLUSIVELY from this forbidden foods list? How

f-ing sick is that???

My sister and I moved to eastern Ky for the last year of his life, so

we could drive 1.5 hours to visit him every w/e. We wanted to take

him home with us or to a Nh near us, but she wouldn't have it. ALL

we could do was visit him.

When he was in the nursing home for a month after the 6 weeks of ICU,

he was hospitalized again, and she started gunning to take him home.

By this time, he was bedridden, on a feeding tube, incontinent, with

constant nausea. NO quality of life. She insisted on taking him home

and the doctor agreed. My sister and I had already talked to the NH

personnel that she was not capable or caring for him at home. We were

afraid that she would abuse him mentally and physically. After she

took him home, my sister call

Adult Protective Services. That is one thing my mother is so angry

about now. She blames my sister for his death, b/c after APS visited

she reluctantly agreed to place him at the hospice house. She showed

her ASS at the hospice house. We were a problem family. The social

worker there told us that she had never seen a family with more

hatred... I say if you suspect abuse, report it! Sometimes they need

outside boundaries.

Joanna

>