Re: Witch/Waif Mother- Percentages

[Guest guest]

Khris,

IMHO a Borderline has all 4 of them locked within their minds.

Normally, you will see for example: Most of the time a Queen with the

Witch always ready to explode and dole out Punishment and Chastizement.

The Waif & Hermit are present to some degree, lurking in the background.

This was the case with my exwife, 3 sisters, mother,aunt, and a

brother. Now for example, my mother(80) and exwife(58) are

predominately Waif or Hermit, with the Witch lurking within, ready to

explode at anytime.

Each Borderline I have know has a basic and subject to change

occasionally, day to day or year to year preference of Hermit, Waif or

Queen. The Witch is always there, waiting to explode. If the Witch were

almost all the time, ragging mad etc, they would be court ordered to be

locked up.

The 4 modes are from Lawson's book, The Borderline Mother.

I hope this clarifies the complex subject a little. They are 100%

Borderline, and spend various times bouncing around the four

descriptions. It helps to know what is the predominant one, and

realizing the Witch is always there.

>

> After reading so many of these posts, I'm somewhat curious about the

> the ratio of Hermit, Witch, Waif and Queen mothers everyone has. Of

> course, that's the definitions in UBM and some BP's can cover more

than

> one definition. My mother is a waif/witch. Any other KO's of

> waif/witches out there?

>

> Khris

>

[Guest guest]

Very true! And I remember from Lawson's book that there's

a distinction between a Hermit and a Waif, because they sound kind

of similar -- one applies to an extrovert and one to an introvert.

(Of course I can't remember which one!) So that further helps

differentiate between the different types.

> >

> > After reading so many of these posts, I'm somewhat curious about

the

> > the ratio of Hermit, Witch, Waif and Queen mothers everyone

has. Of

> > course, that's the definitions in UBM and some BP's can cover

more

> than

> > one definition. My mother is a waif/witch. Any other KO's of

> > waif/witches out there?

> >

> > Khris

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I haven't read Lawson's book yet; are there similar labels for FADAs?

We refer to ours as " The Martyr " but I was wondering if there were

actual BPD labels.

~Elle

> > >

> > > After reading so many of these posts, I'm somewhat curious

about

> the

> > > the ratio of Hermit, Witch, Waif and Queen mothers everyone

> has. Of

> > > course, that's the definitions in UBM and some BP's can cover

> more

> > than

> > > one definition. My mother is a waif/witch. Any other KO's of

> > > waif/witches out there?

> > >

> > > Khris

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yes -- my mom's a Hermit and they typically marry a personality type

called a " Huntsman "

> > > >

> > > > After reading so many of these posts, I'm somewhat curious

> about

> > the

> > > > the ratio of Hermit, Witch, Waif and Queen mothers everyone

> > has. Of

> > > > course, that's the definitions in UBM and some BP's can

cover

> > more

> > > than

> > > > one definition. My mother is a waif/witch. Any other KO's

of

> > > > waif/witches out there?

> > > >

> > > > Khris

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My nada is a Queen with some Witch tendencies. Like many other posters here she

exhibited

more of the witch tendencies when my brother and I were growing up. She has

always been

predominately a Queen and as she is aging she is starting to pull out some Waif

behaviors.

Carla

[Guest guest]

Lawson has stated that her book applies to both BPD mothers and

fathers. And your father, the martyr, would probably fall into the

waif description.

sylvia

> > > >

> > > > After reading so many of these posts, I'm somewhat curious

> about

> > the

> > > > the ratio of Hermit, Witch, Waif and Queen mothers everyone

> > has. Of

> > > > course, that's the definitions in UBM and some BP's can

cover

> > more

> > > than

> > > > one definition. My mother is a waif/witch. Any other KO's

of

> > > > waif/witches out there?

> > > >

> > > > Khris

> > > >

> > >

> >

>