Guest guest Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 Hi. I don't really know if I'm in the right place. I think my mom has BPD. Therapists I've seen in the past describe her as having BPD, but there's no way I would ever tell her that. My relationship is so difficult with her that I am now pulling away. I've read up on symptoms and characteristics of those with BPD and most symptoms describe my mom to a T. But she would never get help for it. I need to learn how to deal with her. I'm tired of her games. I'm tired of her using everything I tell her against me. I'm tired of her saying things I never said, or telling me I said something when I never said it. I just can't talk to her now. She acts like such a child. I'm 29 and feel like I'm the parent - have felt like that for a long time. She can be so loving at times, but it's just so sporadic. Can anyone relate to this? Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 5, 2008 Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 Welcome Jenn, It sounds like you are in the right place. A lot of us here have " undiagnosed " BPD parents--it's not unusual because one of the features of BPD is that the afflicted feel there's nothing wrong with them, so they never seek treatment and get diagnosed. I can relate to your experiences entirely. When I first signed up for this group I spent a great deal of time just reading other people's posts, and I was continually amazed at the similarities between their descriptions of their parents' behaviour and what I'd experienced growing up. Dealing with BPD parents involves establishing and enforcing rules/boundaries, which can be particularly hard for us as most of our childhoods consisted of a lot of boundary violations on behalf of our parents. But it can be done, to varying degrees. > > Hi. I don't really know if I'm in the right place. I think my mom has > BPD. Therapists I've seen in the past describe her as having BPD, but > there's no way I would ever tell her that. My relationship is so > difficult with her that I am now pulling away. I've read up on > symptoms and characteristics of those with BPD and most symptoms > describe my mom to a T. But she would never get help for it. I need > to learn how to deal with her. I'm tired of her games. I'm tired of > her using everything I tell her against me. I'm tired of her saying > things I never said, or telling me I said something when I never said > it. I just can't talk to her now. She acts like such a child. I'm 29 > and feel like I'm the parent - have felt like that for a long time. > She can be so loving at times, but it's just so sporadic. Can anyone > relate to this? > > Jenn > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 5, 2008 Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 --- YES! You are defnitely in the right place. Joanna In WTOAdultChildren1 , " jeak009 " wrote: > > Hi. I don't really know if I'm in the right place. I think my mom has > BPD. Therapists I've seen in the past describe her as having BPD, but > there's no way I would ever tell her that. My relationship is so > difficult with her that I am now pulling away. I've read up on > symptoms and characteristics of those with BPD and most symptoms > describe my mom to a T. But she would never get help for it. I need > to learn how to deal with her. I'm tired of her games. I'm tired of > her using everything I tell her against me. I'm tired of her saying > things I never said, or telling me I said something when I never said > it. I just can't talk to her now. She acts like such a child. I'm 29 > and feel like I'm the parent - have felt like that for a long time. > She can be so loving at times, but it's just so sporadic. Can anyone > relate to this? > > Jenn > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 5, 2008 Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 Jenn, Welcome! You are definitely in the right place. I think you'll be amazed by how similar many of our experiences are. I grew up as an only child hiding what was happening at home because no one believed my parents could behave the way they did. I would never have dreamed there could exist a group of people who had gone through the same things I did. There are wonderful books out there to help you understand the nature of BPD and learn how to deal with your nada (abbreviation for not a mother). There's " Stop Walking on Eggshells " , " Understanding the Borderline Mother " , and " Surviving a Borderline Parent " to name a few good ones. Have you read any of these titles? If not, I'd encourage you to check them out. Cheers, Sakura > > Hi. I don't really know if I'm in the right place. I think my mom has > BPD. Therapists I've seen in the past describe her as having BPD, but > there's no way I would ever tell her that. My relationship is so > difficult with her that I am now pulling away. I've read up on > symptoms and characteristics of those with BPD and most symptoms > describe my mom to a T. But she would never get help for it. I need > to learn how to deal with her. I'm tired of her games. I'm tired of > her using everything I tell her against me. I'm tired of her saying > things I never said, or telling me I said something when I never said > it. I just can't talk to her now. She acts like such a child. I'm 29 > and feel like I'm the parent - have felt like that for a long time. > She can be so loving at times, but it's just so sporadic. Can anyone > relate to this? > > Jenn > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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