Re: Feelings of desperation and suicidal thoughts/Tammy

[Guest guest]

--- Tammy wrote:

>I am having a hard time getting

> through the day and I dont even know if its even

> worth living anymore. I have three boys ages 16

> months and 17 and 23.

It's worth living simply because your boys need their

Mom. They will blame themselves forever, if you were

to commit suicide.

> I feel that they would be better off without me than

> having me around. I feel like i am ruining their

> lives. They have to put up with me all the time. And

> that hurts me so bad.

> I cant really do anything with them.

I can guarantee, that as I said before that you will

devastate those you leave behind. I know, especially

late at night, we can feel so lost and hopeless.

Please, contact your primary doctor, or call your

local hospital for a referral to see a counselor asap.

You should have a local suicide hotline, why not give

them a call, so you will have someone to talk to

tonight?

If you find yourself ready to kill yourself, please

call 911 immediately. Sometimes, we just have to take

one hour at a time, to live for our loved ones.

Prior to getting my Bipolar Disorder, I tried to

commit suicide twice. It's a long story, but it hurt

my 2 kids, and my family more than you can imagine.

They were about 7 and 9 at the time, and ended up with

PTSD. Now, they are adults, and have had to be treated

for it, and other problems.

It's 20 years later, and I have been stable for many,

many years, but they still worry. Please do not leave

your children.

They only need you to be their Mom, nothing else. I'll

write more later.

Please call the local suicide hotline, and have a chat

with someone there. The number, should be just inside

your phone book.

Take good care of yourself. Your family loves you, not

what you can do for them.

Kaylene

Moderator

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[Guest guest]

>

> --- Tammy wrote:

I feel that they would be better off without me than

> > having me around. I feel like i am ruining their

> > lives. They have to put up with me all the time. And

> > that hurts me so bad.

> > I cant really do anything with them.

>

>

>

Sometimes when I think of suicide, I stop and think, ya, then

you`ll never even beable to enjoy a good day if you have one, and all

the little blessings you would miss. I love so many things, and I

have such a wide range of petss that need me .Your family needs you

even the way you are. Although my two girls seem to disappear when

I`m bad like now, and I end up calling my brother to come and stay

with me. I guess I`m selfish. I don`t want to miss anything, and if I

commit suicide I will.

Hang in here with us, and when the sky is blue,look at it,when there

is abeautiful cardninal in a tree look at it. when you see aa

peaceful horse grazing in a field look at it. Those are some of the

small blessing suicide would take away from you. The beauty of the

earth.

[Guest guest]

I've been reading this group's email for about a month. I just had to

respond today (even though I have struggled with a nasty migraine all

day).

Yes our pain is great, but I want to be here to see my children and

grandchildren live their lives, and even if I cannot physically

participate, or sometimes even talk, I know I can help my loved ones and

that suicide is an " easy out " for me, but a terrible burden for my

friends and family to bear.

Laugh, love, trust and hope for a moment of peace.

Pattie