Waiting to get in trouble

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone, I mostly read but post whenever I think I can help, but I need

some advice

because I am fairly certain the sht is going to hit the fan and some point this

weekend.

I am oldest daughter of a BPD daughter. Until about 3 years ago when I started

setting

boundaries I was all good.

I just spoke to little bro who is visiting with Nada, 3.000 miles away, he

finally told her he

is gay. The problem comes that he told me 3 or so years ago. I feel like a

little kid, I am

going to get it. Whenever I don't tell her something important about my

brother, I get in

trouble.

She looks at me like her husband ever since my dad died when we were little. I

am

supposed to keep her in the loop on what is going on with him. He is mostly

black and

has very little contact with her.

6 years ago he was suffering from major anxiety (looking back it was probably

because he

was having trouble with his sexuality)

He lives in NYC so we attributed it to the terrorist attacks and since we are

close, we just

spent a lot of time talking and finding ways for him to relive the anxiety.

When he told

Nada what had been going on with, she asked if I knew and he told her I did and

had for

about a year.

Oh boy, I got a phone call tearing me a new one for not telling her.

Needless to say, tonight she asked if I knew and he told her I did -- I forgot

to ask but

hopefully he did tell her I was the first one he told. UGG

So now I sit here waiting for the phone call. Everything in me tells me not to

answer but I

know at some point I am going to have to address it with her.

I have my standard, it wasn't my place to tell you speach in my head but would

appreciate

any thoughts on how I can handle this.

The saddest part of the whole thing, and you will all appreciate this is that he

told her and

then it turned into a 2 hour conversation about her and her life. He told me

that made

sense since it really affects her.

Thank goodness he let me know he was being sarcastic and how it was sad that she

doesn't understand why we aren't close with her, when she turns his announcement

into

why her life is so bad.

I am glad he finally told her but am a little worried about the backlash I am

going to

receive (I would never say that to him)

Thanks

L