Re: Gifts

[Guest guest]

I don't think your angry.....I made the mistake of telling my nada

to " just get the kids sweat shirts " after she called me freaking out

in the mall screaming that she didn't know what to get my boys.

Needless to say......they have gotten a sweat shirt every year, ever

since. She also puts money in with the sweat shirts in the form of

a check.....then gets pissed when we forget to cash them right

away.

My nada has 4 grandkids too....and acts like she is overwhelmed each

and every Christmas. I'm sure she will be like on of those nasty

old ladies I hear bitching about ALL the grankids they HAVE to buy

for.

Makes you see what not to do when we are grandparents someday!!!

I personally can't wait.......drlingirl

>

> Friday while I was working my sister dropped off some Christmas

> gifts for our family. I thought she was just dropping off gifts

> from the siblings, but when I got home I discovered that she had

> also dropped off some from Mom & Dad (I'm not mad at sis--I think

> there was a genuine misunderstanding). The kids had already

opened

> some of them, and since you can't " un-unwrap " gifts and I thought

it

> would be cruel to make them return them, we decided to open them.

> For me: a 104-piece flatware set, I'm not sure why—is it normal to

> get people flatware when you've never discussed whether we need

> flatware (we don't), and you have no idea what their pattern

> preferences are? For my husband: a pullover. For my four year

old

> son: an inflatable toy for three year olds. For my six year old

> girl: a Hannah Montana Barbie and a High School Musical 2 Barbie.

> And for my eight year old girl: a Hannah Montana Barbie and a High

> School Musical 2 Barbie. The same exact gift for both girls.

This

> is significant because my eight year old doesn't like Barbies, and

> in fact gave my six year old all of her dolls/Barbies about two

> years ago. My eight year old likes science stuff and books. I

> understand that my contact with my parents was, well, limited for

> four weeks prior to Christmas, but my oldest has been pretty

> consistent with not liking dolls for the past two years. So she

was

> kind of disappointed. I can understand when people start having

> tons of grandchildren getting them all pretty much the same thing,

> but my oldest has always made it pretty clear that she actively

> dislikes dolls, and they only have four granddaughters, so if they

> wanted to be homogenous they could have picked something else. I

> don't think it was a purposeful jab at her; in fact, I think it

> stands as more of a perfect example of how other people's

> wants/needs don't even register on Mom's radar screen. My

daughter

> must like Barbies, because all girls that age should like

Barbies.

> Maybe I'm being a little overcritical under the circumstances

> (relatively recent NC), but it was always a huge pet peeve of mine

> growing up that she never got me what I wanted, but what she

thought

> I *should* want.

>

> We returned the flatware and pullover. We have no idea where they

> got the toys so my oldest daughter will have to live with

> disappointment (although I think she'll survive).

>

> Oh, and I forgot to mention the postcards they had made from

> pictures of my girls, and a picture of my Dad with my son. They

> slid these into inexpensive plastic frames. Are framed postcards

a

> little bizarre? Why not just make prints? Are these meant to be

> returned as thank-yous from my kids? I threw the postcards out,

but

> I'm still scratching my head about them. What do you guys think?

> Are these gifts wierd or I am I just still angry from the NC thing?

>

[Guest guest]

Loved this! One of those posts that really pushed my buttons:

" But it was always a huge pet peeve of mine growing up that she never got me

what I wanted, but what she thought I *should* want. "

When I was thirteen, my mom forced me to get glamour shots for my birthday

gift (I was a bit of an awkward tomboy with braces and cried at the shooting, I

look miserable in the pictures). She collects pig paraphanalia and I can't even

TELL you the number of pig gardening gloves, notecards, mugs, bags, keychains

etc. I've gotten from her. She often has her own paintings framed for me as

graduation gifts etc. and this is one of the first Christmases in as long as I

can remember on which she got me something I asked for: a camera (I brought it

up about 16 times in November). Three of my other gifts, however, were for the

house (an ornament, a framed poem and painting) and the other was a hideous but

expensive jewelry box that I left at home.

She'll also spend SO much money on her own clothes ($600 ballgowns she'll wear

once, a whole wardrobe of Ann / Chicos/ Nordstroms) but will go on a spree

at Kohl's and send me a bunch of ugly, tacky stuff in the mail with the tags

still on that say " On sale! $4.99! "

Ugh!

writermanque wrote:

Friday while I was working my sister dropped off some Christmas

gifts for our family. I thought she was just dropping off gifts

from the siblings, but when I got home I discovered that she had

also dropped off some from Mom & Dad (I'm not mad at sis--I think

there was a genuine misunderstanding). The kids had already opened

some of them, and since you can't " un-unwrap " gifts and I thought it

would be cruel to make them return them, we decided to open them.

For me: a 104-piece flatware set, I'm not sure why—is it normal to

get people flatware when you've never discussed whether we need

flatware (we don't), and you have no idea what their pattern

preferences are? For my husband: a pullover. For my four year old

son: an inflatable toy for three year olds. For my six year old

girl: a Hannah Montana Barbie and a High School Musical 2 Barbie.

And for my eight year old girl: a Hannah Montana Barbie and a High

School Musical 2 Barbie. The same exact gift for both girls. This

is significant because my eight year old doesn't like Barbies, and

in fact gave my six year old all of her dolls/Barbies about two

years ago. My eight year old likes science stuff and books. I

understand that my contact with my parents was, well, limited for

four weeks prior to Christmas, but my oldest has been pretty

consistent with not liking dolls for the past two years. So she was

kind of disappointed. I can understand when people start having

tons of grandchildren getting them all pretty much the same thing,

but my oldest has always made it pretty clear that she actively

dislikes dolls, and they only have four granddaughters, so if they

wanted to be homogenous they could have picked something else. I

don't think it was a purposeful jab at her; in fact, I think it

stands as more of a perfect example of how other people's

wants/needs don't even register on Mom's radar screen. My daughter

must like Barbies, because all girls that age should like Barbies.

Maybe I'm being a little overcritical under the circumstances

(relatively recent NC), but it was always a huge pet peeve of mine

growing up that she never got me what I wanted, but what she thought

I *should* want.

We returned the flatware and pullover. We have no idea where they

got the toys so my oldest daughter will have to live with

disappointment (although I think she'll survive).

Oh, and I forgot to mention the postcards they had made from

pictures of my girls, and a picture of my Dad with my son. They

slid these into inexpensive plastic frames. Are framed postcards a

little bizarre? Why not just make prints? Are these meant to be

returned as thank-yous from my kids? I threw the postcards out, but

I'm still scratching my head about them. What do you guys think?

Are these gifts wierd or I am I just still angry from the NC thing?

---------------------------------

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.

[Guest guest]

Okay, just for fun (I'm always trying to find humor in my

situation), what are some of the more ridiculous " gifts " you've been

given for Christmas/birthdays?

To preface this, I am the classic " sensitive person " we've been

posting about recently: relatively reserved, and my decorating style

can best be described as Amish. Nada was always harping at me at

how I needed to be more ENTHUSIASTIC! More ENGAGED! More COLORFUL!

Right in keeping with this, she got me a dollhouse (I had renounced

dolls at age 8) when I was ten and gave my brother the exact game I

had asked her for, a pink Holly Hobby pantsuit when I was 12 or 13,

a tee shirt with my name printed on it with rhinestones (never

worn), humongous dangly sparkly earrings (curiously lost shortly

thereafter), any number of things with the designer's name garishly

splashed on any suitable surface (always with the " 75% off " sticker

still attached), and a leopard print throw that she had made

herself, throwing in a conspiratorial " These sell for hundreds of

dollars in the stores... "

>

> Loved this! One of those posts that really pushed my buttons:

>

> " But it was always a huge pet peeve of mine growing up that she

never got me what I wanted, but what she thought I *should* want. "

>

> When I was thirteen, my mom forced me to get glamour shots for

my birthday gift (I was a bit of an awkward tomboy with braces and

cried at the shooting, I look miserable in the pictures). She

collects pig paraphanalia and I can't even TELL you the number of

pig gardening gloves, notecards, mugs, bags, keychains etc. I've

gotten from her. She often has her own paintings framed for me as

graduation gifts etc. and this is one of the first Christmases in as

long as I can remember on which she got me something I asked for: a

camera (I brought it up about 16 times in November). Three of my

other gifts, however, were for the house (an ornament, a framed poem

and painting) and the other was a hideous but expensive jewelry box

that I left at home.

>

> She'll also spend SO much money on her own clothes ($600

ballgowns she'll wear once, a whole wardrobe of Ann / Chicos/

Nordstroms) but will go on a spree at Kohl's and send me a bunch of

ugly, tacky stuff in the mail with the tags still on that say " On

sale! $4.99! "

>

> Ugh!

>

[Guest guest]

Ooh! What is it about discount stores and leaving on the price

tags? My mother will send an entire box of $1.99 clothes, with the

bright orange discount tags still on, and think it is a wonderful

gift. I used to be so disappointed at Christmas when I would be

subjected to her wacky logic that one $20 shirt would be too much

money to spend on me, but she would happily give me 30 ghastly

pieces of clothing as long as they only cost $2 each.

Sara

> Friday while I was working my sister dropped off some

Christmas

> gifts for our family. I thought she was just dropping off gifts

> from the siblings, but when I got home I discovered that she had

> also dropped off some from Mom & Dad (I'm not mad at sis--I think

> there was a genuine misunderstanding). The kids had already opened

> some of them, and since you can't " un-unwrap " gifts and I thought

it

> would be cruel to make them return them, we decided to open them.

> For me: a 104-piece flatware set, I'm not sure why—is it normal to

> get people flatware when you've never discussed whether we need

> flatware (we don't), and you have no idea what their pattern

> preferences are? For my husband: a pullover. For my four year old

> son: an inflatable toy for three year olds. For my six year old

> girl: a Hannah Montana Barbie and a High School Musical 2 Barbie.

> And for my eight year old girl: a Hannah Montana Barbie and a High

> School Musical 2 Barbie. The same exact gift for both girls. This

> is significant because my eight year old doesn't like Barbies, and

> in fact gave my six year old all of her dolls/Barbies about two

> years ago. My eight year old likes science stuff and books. I

> understand that my contact with my parents was, well, limited for

> four weeks prior to Christmas, but my oldest has been pretty

> consistent with not liking dolls for the past two years. So she

was

> kind of disappointed. I can understand when people start having

> tons of grandchildren getting them all pretty much the same thing,

> but my oldest has always made it pretty clear that she actively

> dislikes dolls, and they only have four granddaughters, so if they

> wanted to be homogenous they could have picked something else. I

> don't think it was a purposeful jab at her; in fact, I think it

> stands as more of a perfect example of how other people's

> wants/needs don't even register on Mom's radar screen. My daughter

> must like Barbies, because all girls that age should like Barbies.

> Maybe I'm being a little overcritical under the circumstances

> (relatively recent NC), but it was always a huge pet peeve of mine

> growing up that she never got me what I wanted, but what she

thought

> I *should* want.

>

> We returned the flatware and pullover. We have no idea where they

> got the toys so my oldest daughter will have to live with

> disappointment (although I think she'll survive).

>

> Oh, and I forgot to mention the postcards they had made from

> pictures of my girls, and a picture of my Dad with my son. They

> slid these into inexpensive plastic frames. Are framed postcards a

> little bizarre? Why not just make prints? Are these meant to be

> returned as thank-yous from my kids? I threw the postcards out,

but

> I'm still scratching my head about them. What do you guys think?

> Are these gifts wierd or I am I just still angry from the NC thing?

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with

Yahoo! Search.

>

>

[Guest guest]

My NADA always tried to give really good gifts to my sister and I.

Even though she never had much money, she did whatever she could to

give us tons of nice gifts at Christmas. Then later she would throw

it in our faces when we did something wrong. " I can't believe you

did this after everything I did for you for Christmas! "

Gifts were always a weird thing. If it was before Christmas, and we

did something to piss our mom off, she would try to hurt us by

saying " Dont you dare get me anything for Christmas, I won't accept

it! " As if giving her a gift was a special privilige we had that she

was trying to take away as punishment. I remember feeling

fearful,,what would happen if she opened a present from me? I always

got her something no matter what, and she always opened it and loved

it. but I would live in fear until she opened the present without

anger and without destroying it.

I hate recieving gifts from my mother. I know there is a string

attached somewhere. This Christmas she tried to give me presents by

giving them to my sister to give to me. I still can't believe the

absurdity of this.....Isn't Christmas supposed to be the season of

love and warmth? How warm is it to use a proxy to give someone a

christmas present? She shouldn't use my sister in that way.

I just sent her a card for Christmas. Now I'm worried about what I'm

going to do for mothers day. I'm dreading it already and it's like

6months away.

> >

> > Loved this! One of those posts that really pushed my buttons:

> >

> > " But it was always a huge pet peeve of mine growing up that

she

> never got me what I wanted, but what she thought I *should* want. "

> >

> > When I was thirteen, my mom forced me to get glamour shots for

> my birthday gift (I was a bit of an awkward tomboy with braces and

> cried at the shooting, I look miserable in the pictures). She

> collects pig paraphanalia and I can't even TELL you the number of

> pig gardening gloves, notecards, mugs, bags, keychains etc. I've

> gotten from her. She often has her own paintings framed for me as

> graduation gifts etc. and this is one of the first Christmases in

as

> long as I can remember on which she got me something I asked for:

a

> camera (I brought it up about 16 times in November). Three of my

> other gifts, however, were for the house (an ornament, a framed

poem

> and painting) and the other was a hideous but expensive jewelry

box

> that I left at home.

> >

> > She'll also spend SO much money on her own clothes ($600

> ballgowns she'll wear once, a whole wardrobe of Ann /

Chicos/

> Nordstroms) but will go on a spree at Kohl's and send me a bunch

of

> ugly, tacky stuff in the mail with the tags still on that say " On

> sale! $4.99! "

> >

> > Ugh!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

---

Throughout my childhood, my mother would always say (rage), right

before a holiday or her bday, " Don't you DARE get me anything for

___, after the way you treat me, I don't want anything from you. "

Can anyone say double-bind? Sometimes she would accept them,

sometimes she would angrily renounce them and refuse to accept them.

Joanna

In WTOAdultChildren1 , " Sara Jo "

wrote:

>

> My NADA always tried to give really good gifts to my sister and I.

> Even though she never had much money, she did whatever she could

to

> give us tons of nice gifts at Christmas. Then later she would

throw

> it in our faces when we did something wrong. " I can't believe you

> did this after everything I did for you for Christmas! "

>

> Gifts were always a weird thing. If it was before Christmas, and

we

> did something to piss our mom off, she would try to hurt us by

> saying " Dont you dare get me anything for Christmas, I won't

accept

> it! " As if giving her a gift was a special privilige we had that

she

> was trying to take away as punishment. I remember feeling

> fearful,,what would happen if she opened a present from me? I

always

> got her something no matter what, and she always opened it and

loved

> it. but I would live in fear until she opened the present without

> anger and without destroying it.

>

> I hate recieving gifts from my mother. I know there is a string

> attached somewhere. This Christmas she tried to give me presents

by

> giving them to my sister to give to me. I still can't believe the

> absurdity of this.....Isn't Christmas supposed to be the season of

> love and warmth? How warm is it to use a proxy to give someone a

> christmas present? She shouldn't use my sister in that way.

>

> I just sent her a card for Christmas. Now I'm worried about what

I'm

> going to do for mothers day. I'm dreading it already and it's like

> 6months away.

>

>

> > >

> > > Loved this! One of those posts that really pushed my buttons:

> > >

> > > " But it was always a huge pet peeve of mine growing up that

> she

> > never got me what I wanted, but what she thought I *should*

want. "

> > >

> > > When I was thirteen, my mom forced me to get glamour shots

for

> > my birthday gift (I was a bit of an awkward tomboy with braces

and

> > cried at the shooting, I look miserable in the pictures). She

> > collects pig paraphanalia and I can't even TELL you the number

of

> > pig gardening gloves, notecards, mugs, bags, keychains etc. I've

> > gotten from her. She often has her own paintings framed for me

as

> > graduation gifts etc. and this is one of the first Christmases

in

> as

> > long as I can remember on which she got me something I asked

for:

> a

> > camera (I brought it up about 16 times in November). Three of

my

> > other gifts, however, were for the house (an ornament, a framed

> poem

> > and painting) and the other was a hideous but expensive jewelry

> box

> > that I left at home.

> > >

> > > She'll also spend SO much money on her own clothes ($600

> > ballgowns she'll wear once, a whole wardrobe of Ann /

> Chicos/

> > Nordstroms) but will go on a spree at Kohl's and send me a bunch

> of

> > ugly, tacky stuff in the mail with the tags still on that

say " On

> > sale! $4.99! "

> > >

> > > Ugh!

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Ugh! I forgot about the sizes thing! She hardly ever gets the

right size for my kids! For one thing, she rarely asks what sizes

they wear, and if she does ask, she ignores my answer. It's what

size they *should* be, or if the item's on sale, she'll get it for

them whether it's their size or not! She got all of her

grandchildren winter coats for Christmas last year (even though all

her grandchildren already had winter coats) because she found a good

sale on children's jackets somewhere. The one she got my oldest

daughter was too small, but we couldn't return it because it was one

of those " all sales are final " things. And the thing is, she knew

it would probably be too small, as she said " I hope it fits, but it

was the last one they had in that style so it might be a little

small... " And even if we could return it, why burden someone with

the return if you know they're going to have to return it? Just buy

something that would fit, or better yet, something that they might

want!

And yes, my nada is always trying to appear " cool " for knowing what

the latest is with kids these days. However, my kids don't really

follow those trends and could really care less.

>

> I don't think you sound like you are just still angry. I think

all of these

> things just validate why you went NC to begin with. Them stuck in

their own

> worlds, feeling like they are entitled to yours too. My nada does

the

> double gift thing...gives the same things to my nephews who are 12

and 17

> and have opposite tastes. That's because it's not about what they

get it's

> about nada...and what she is giving. I'm sure it was a double

thing for

> your nada...she gave your older daughter dolls because, like you

said, that

> is what she WANT'S her to want. Secondly, she probably thought it

would

> make her look good....Hannah Montana and High School musical is

all the

> rage....isn't she just so cool for knowing what " kids nowadays "

like? My

> grandmother did that with my youngest daughter....she would buy

her size 2T

> because my daughter was 2. Well 2T was way too big on her....my

grandmother

> would just insist...she is 2 so she should be wearing a 2. Nada

has...

[Guest guest]

You guys will get a kick out of this one. Both of my daughters (ages

19 and 20) called me last night. Their step-nada had called them

both wondering if the Christmas presents the girls sent to their dad

and stepmother (and their two little boys) had been lost in the mail

or if they couldn't afford to send them. My oldest daughter is a

junior in college and my youngest is a working single mother of a 9-

month old. Neither of them have much money to spare and Christmas

for them this year was really lean. My HB and I did get a small gift

from each of the girls, but they came to our house for the whole

Christmas thing and they didn't have to ship anything cross-country.

Their stepmother should know that. Each of the girls said that they

spent around $25.00 total in purchasing a gift for me, my HB and

their stepbrother. That's understandably frugal in my opinion.

I calmed both of my girls down (the oldest was very hurt by the phone

call and the youngest was pissed) and told them to consider the

source. I told them that their stepmother would forget all about it

after another Crown and Coke. The girls have every reason to be

upset and/or angry at receiving such a self-serving phone call. The

gall.

Khris

> >

> > I don't think you sound like you are just still angry. I think

> all of these

> > things just validate why you went NC to begin with. Them stuck

in

> their own

> > worlds, feeling like they are entitled to yours too. My nada

does

> the

> > double gift thing...gives the same things to my nephews who are

12

> and 17

> > and have opposite tastes. That's because it's not about what

they

> get it's

> > about nada...and what she is giving. I'm sure it was a double

> thing for

> > your nada...she gave your older daughter dolls because, like you

> said, that

> > is what she WANT'S her to want. Secondly, she probably thought

it

> would

> > make her look good....Hannah Montana and High School musical is

> all the

> > rage....isn't she just so cool for knowing what " kids nowadays "

> like? My

> > grandmother did that with my youngest daughter....she would buy

> her size 2T

> > because my daughter was 2. Well 2T was way too big on her....my

> grandmother

> > would just insist...she is 2 so she should be wearing a 2. Nada

> has...

>

[Guest guest]

My nada is the exact same way. She's given gifts back to me before

after I've " made her angry " and she's said the whole, " I can't

believe after all I did for -insert holiday here-! " too.

> > > >

> > > > Loved this! One of those posts that really pushed my buttons:

> > > >

> > > > " But it was always a huge pet peeve of mine growing up that

> > she

> > > never got me what I wanted, but what she thought I *should*

> want. "

> > > >

> > > > When I was thirteen, my mom forced me to get glamour shots

> for

> > > my birthday gift (I was a bit of an awkward tomboy with braces

> and

> > > cried at the shooting, I look miserable in the pictures). She

> > > collects pig paraphanalia and I can't even TELL you the number

> of

> > > pig gardening gloves, notecards, mugs, bags, keychains etc.

I've

> > > gotten from her. She often has her own paintings framed for me

> as

> > > graduation gifts etc. and this is one of the first Christmases

> in

> > as

> > > long as I can remember on which she got me something I asked

> for:

> > a

> > > camera (I brought it up about 16 times in November). Three of

> my

> > > other gifts, however, were for the house (an ornament, a framed

> > poem

> > > and painting) and the other was a hideous but expensive jewelry

> > box

> > > that I left at home.

> > > >

> > > > She'll also spend SO much money on her own clothes ($600

> > > ballgowns she'll wear once, a whole wardrobe of Ann /

> > Chicos/

> > > Nordstroms) but will go on a spree at Kohl's and send me a

bunch

> > of

> > > ugly, tacky stuff in the mail with the tags still on that

> say " On

> > > sale! $4.99! "

> > > >

> > > > Ugh!

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

ha! one christmas my nada (remembering she is lds/mormon) got me a

pack of t-shirts called " modest-tees " in a plastic box, like one you

would get from costco. (i have chosen to live my life otherwise and

it horrifies her that i wear spaghetti straps and short skirts

sometimes.) AND she got me an emergency kit. like to put in your car.

with emergency blankets and flash lights and stuff like that.

something she prob got from someone else. And she wrapped up some of

my things that i left at her house when i moved out and made them

look like christmas presents. and all of these " gifts " were wrapped

in multiple boxes with elaborate wrapping and bows. probably to make

it look like she got me a ton of stuff in front of our other family

members and family friends. i think that year she outdid herself. at

least this year she didnt get me anything instead of trying to

pretend she did

> >

> > Loved this! One of those posts that really pushed my buttons:

> >

> > " But it was always a huge pet peeve of mine growing up that she

> never got me what I wanted, but what she thought I *should* want. "

> >

> > When I was thirteen, my mom forced me to get glamour shots for

> my birthday gift (I was a bit of an awkward tomboy with braces and

> cried at the shooting, I look miserable in the pictures). She

> collects pig paraphanalia and I can't even TELL you the number of

> pig gardening gloves, notecards, mugs, bags, keychains etc. I've

> gotten from her. She often has her own paintings framed for me as

> graduation gifts etc. and this is one of the first Christmases in

as

> long as I can remember on which she got me something I asked for: a

> camera (I brought it up about 16 times in November). Three of my

> other gifts, however, were for the house (an ornament, a framed

poem

> and painting) and the other was a hideous but expensive jewelry box

> that I left at home.

> >

> > She'll also spend SO much money on her own clothes ($600

> ballgowns she'll wear once, a whole wardrobe of Ann / Chicos/

> Nordstroms) but will go on a spree at Kohl's and send me a bunch of

> ugly, tacky stuff in the mail with the tags still on that say " On

> sale! $4.99! "

> >

> > Ugh!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

on some mother's days, i haven't even called her. why stress it? i

know it might sound bad, but think about it. we're thinking their

feelings might get hurt because we didn't do something for them on

mother's day. their feelings WONT be hurt. they will be ANGRY because

they realize they dont have CONTROL over someone in their life. and

think about it this way. they will probably be happier because it

will just give them an excuse to be the victim again. and this would

give them more satisfaction than actually receiving a card, right?

its sad to think about it this way, but im doing the best i can for me

> > >

> > > Loved this! One of those posts that really pushed my buttons:

> > >

> > > " But it was always a huge pet peeve of mine growing up that

> she

> > never got me what I wanted, but what she thought I *should* want. "

> > >

> > > When I was thirteen, my mom forced me to get glamour shots

for

> > my birthday gift (I was a bit of an awkward tomboy with braces

and

> > cried at the shooting, I look miserable in the pictures). She

> > collects pig paraphanalia and I can't even TELL you the number of

> > pig gardening gloves, notecards, mugs, bags, keychains etc. I've

> > gotten from her. She often has her own paintings framed for me

as

> > graduation gifts etc. and this is one of the first Christmases in

> as

> > long as I can remember on which she got me something I asked for:

> a

> > camera (I brought it up about 16 times in November). Three of my

> > other gifts, however, were for the house (an ornament, a framed

> poem

> > and painting) and the other was a hideous but expensive jewelry

> box

> > that I left at home.

> > >

> > > She'll also spend SO much money on her own clothes ($600

> > ballgowns she'll wear once, a whole wardrobe of Ann /

> Chicos/

> > Nordstroms) but will go on a spree at Kohl's and send me a bunch

> of

> > ugly, tacky stuff in the mail with the tags still on that say " On

> > sale! $4.99! "

> > >

> > > Ugh!

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I had to chime in on the gifts thread. My husbands grandmother was quite a

piece of

work. She was notorious for being a cheapskate. She favored her daughter and

daughters

children over my husbands father and his children. They all tolerated her

because they

had to ya know.

One Christmas she gave the three oldest grandsons dress socks. One pair each

that she

had separated from a three pack. She got her grandaughter a little sleeve of

bath salt

blocks. and because I think she forgot to get the youngest grandson something

till the

last minute she wrapped a box of Kudos snack bars. For many years after that

someone

always bought a box of Kudos for him and wrapped it for Christmas. (this woman

was not

remotely broke or hard up)

I for some reason rated with her. she gave me a table cloth with the family

crest on it that

had been hers and a pack of those puffy satin hangers. I always tried to

entertain her a

little. I figured she wasn't my nada grandnada and she did not bother me for

the

whopping two hours I would see her every few years. Hey that way all her family

does not

have to deal with her right? Over the years after every visit she tried to give

me her china

and her silver ect... I never ended up with them because my sister-in-law had a

fit about

it. Fleas from being slighted by her grandmother her whole life. Whatever, no

skin of my

nose. how sad tho.

Carla

> >

> > I don't think you sound like you are just still angry. I think

> all of these

> > things just validate why you went NC to begin with. Them stuck in

> their own

> > worlds, feeling like they are entitled to yours too. My nada does

> the

> > double gift thing...gives the same things to my nephews who are 12

> and 17

> > and have opposite tastes. That's because it's not about what they

> get it's

> > about nada...and what she is giving. I'm sure it was a double

> thing for

> > your nada...she gave your older daughter dolls because, like you

> said, that

> > is what she WANT'S her to want. Secondly, she probably thought it

> would

> > make her look good....Hannah Montana and High School musical is

> all the

> > rage....isn't she just so cool for knowing what " kids nowadays "

> like? My

> > grandmother did that with my youngest daughter....she would buy

> her size 2T

> > because my daughter was 2. Well 2T was way too big on her....my

> grandmother

> > would just insist...she is 2 so she should be wearing a 2. Nada

> has...

>