Guest guest Posted January 7, 2008 Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 I got to reading backwards on this post and just about scared myself to death not realizing a post I was reading was from back in 2001. Sorry if I disturbed anyone. Does anyone know what ever happened to Jacky from back in 2001? Is she ok? Khris > > A big revelation when I started to learn about BPD, was the concept of > healthy boundaries. I did NOT have healthy boundaries with my > nada/fada, nor with many others. It really shocked me. Applying this > lesson has been ongoing and trying to find a middle ground has not > been easy. > > I've become hyper-sensitized to boundaries and perhaps guilty of > over-defending myself. Each time I come across a lapsed boundary from > my past I overreact. (There are just sooo many disrespectful behaviors > that I should not have accepted from others. It's disorienting to > notice them... and it's not easy trying to make up for lost time.) > This has been made all the harder by everyone's memory of me as a > pushover... it's extremely difficult to undo a first impression. > > Here's one recent example: For 25 years now, my mother-in-law has > refused to accept that I kept my maiden name. When she sends me mail > it's always addressed with my husband's last name. For my birthday > this year, she sent me a check made out to me, but again, with her > family name. Whenever she does this it feels like a gift with a mixed > message. I've put up with her petty zings for years — this time the > bank won't accept it & neither will I. It's a little thing, but just > one more example of not setting a boundary. I don't want " gifts " that > come with a pointed, angry message. I know she has never accepted my > decision & she thinks it's OK to disrespect me. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2008 Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 I've read that, what a great book, I love it, now the problem is " keeping " to it, sticking to the rules, I seem to forget what I read and let the boundaries mess up my life again and again............. > > > > Hi y'all! I found " Boundaries " by Anne last night and couldn't put it > down! Really easy to read and straight to the point. It also has learning > exercises after each chapter. It's not even all that expensive - under 10.00, I > think. Thanks, Edith for the recommendation. > > Ilene > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2008 Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 I'm so glad that we are all here for each other. We can help each other maintain our boundaries when we start slipping off the track. I find it funny that for many many years, I had been trained to not seek outside help...I was afraid to betray our family's " secret " . Now, not only am I constantly seeking outside help — I have found help on a global scale! The web is a powerhouse of positive energy that our nadas/fadas cannot compete with. > > > > > > > > Hi y'all! I found " Boundaries " by Anne last night and > couldn't put it > > down! Really easy to read and straight to the point. It also has > learning > > exercises after each chapter. It's not even all that expensive - > under 10.00, I > > think. Thanks, Edith for the recommendation. > > > > Ilene > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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