Guest guest Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 I don't remember being hugged by Nada except when she would come crying to appologize and ask for forgiveness for hitting me. She would tell me how much she loved me and ask for forgiveness while crying like a complete idiot. To this day I don't like her to touch me in any way. I'm not a touchy person and I have to remind myself to hug the people I love. I'm not inclined to do it, but I chose to do it because I know they need it and I do love them. > > How many of you were hugged by nada/fada a young child? > > My grandmother gave good hugs. > No memories of hugs from my fada. > My nada hugged me only once that I can remember. I was in the kitchen > with her — she pulled me onto her lap, hugged me, and started stroking > the skin on my hand saying how soft it was. I remember pulling away, > because her sudden show of affection felt so weird. > > My sister had a similar one-time childhood hugging event with our nada. > > That lack of affection seems so sad. > Hugs are so important. > > > Likewise, I never heard them say " I love you. " > Not until I was an adult & my sister managed to train them to say it > mechanically...which was so much worse! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 This is my experience also. My mother was not affectionate at all in any way, I have very few memories of hugs or kisses or being told I was loved. Now that I'm 40 and she " relies " on me she is always trying to kiss me and to tell you the truth it just grosses me out. It seems so phoney now, like she's trying to make me show her I love her, " if I kiss her then she'll have to kiss me. " > > How many of you were hugged by nada/fada a young child? > > My grandmother gave good hugs. > No memories of hugs from my fada. > My nada hugged me only once that I can remember. I was in the kitchen > with her — she pulled me onto her lap, hugged me, and started stroking > the skin on my hand saying how soft it was. I remember pulling away, > because her sudden show of affection felt so weird. > > My sister had a similar one-time childhood hugging event with our nada. > > That lack of affection seems so sad. > Hugs are so important. > > > Likewise, I never heard them say " I love you. " > Not until I was an adult & my sister managed to train them to say it > mechanically...which was so much worse! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 Mr Z, Like I said in an earlier post.....I don't have many detailed memories, but I do remember not getting many hugs. My sister got more because she would throw herself on to anyone who would take her. We got no I love you's either, I do remember she did say it to me on my 18th birthday, after handing me a 4 pack of wine coolers. Funny, the legal age to drink is 21, but thanks mom!!! She did however play with my hair, and that seemed to be a comfort to me. To this day I twirl my hair in my fingers, and love to have someone play with my hair. She always wanted someone to rub her head, and neck when she was hung over, had a head ache. Oh and us girls would run for the hills because she wanted us to sand the callus's on her feet, while she laid on the couch, watching TV. YUCK!!! My nada now tells me she loves me when she is leaving on a plane, and or going on a long vacation. She has no problem telling her new husband, or my sister, I have heard her say it to them freely. But then again, they are her circle, and she needs them to stay close. drlingirl > > How many of you were hugged by nada/fada a young child? > > My grandmother gave good hugs. > No memories of hugs from my fada. > My nada hugged me only once that I can remember. I was in the kitchen > with her — she pulled me onto her lap, hugged me, and started stroking > the skin on my hand saying how soft it was. I remember pulling away, > because her sudden show of affection felt so weird. > > My sister had a similar one-time childhood hugging event with our nada. > > That lack of affection seems so sad. > Hugs are so important. > > > Likewise, I never heard them say " I love you. " > Not until I was an adult & my sister managed to train them to say it > mechanically...which was so much worse! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 >>>>>She always wanted someone to rub her head, and neck when she was hung over, had a head ache. Oh and us girls would run for the hills because she wanted us to sand the callus's on her feet, while she laid on the couch, watching TV. YUCK!!! OMG my nada has tried to get each of the grandkids to give her a foot massage & tend to her NASTY feet while she kicks back & relaxes. Luckily it was just a back massage when it was bro & I... > > > > How many of you were hugged by nada/fada a young child? > > > > My grandmother gave good hugs. > > No memories of hugs from my fada. > > My nada hugged me only once that I can remember. I was in the > kitchen > > with her — she pulled me onto her lap, hugged me, and started > stroking > > the skin on my hand saying how soft it was. I remember pulling > away, > > because her sudden show of affection felt so weird. > > > > My sister had a similar one-time childhood hugging event with our > nada. > > > > That lack of affection seems so sad. > > Hugs are so important. > > > > > > Likewise, I never heard them say " I love you. " > > Not until I was an adult & my sister managed to train them to say > it > > mechanically...which was so much worse! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 Every single night sis and I had to rub Nada's feet and shoulders. We flipped a coin to figure out who did which. Then we got her her ice water (must have more than 5 cubes), and her Ambien, tucked her in, sat with her until she went to sleep and THEN we were allowed to go to our rooms, do homework and put ourselves to bed. Before bedtime, I had to cook dinner (which wasn't good enough for her nearly every night), sis had the dishes, then we had to sit with Nada while she watched TV. She insisted that we sit with her, never quite got why, but if we left we weren't bonding with the family enough. After her shows were over, one of us would draw her bath, with bubbles, while the other took care of the animals, then we had to sit with her while she took her bath (never understood that either, I did NOT need to see her naked every day of my life) and bring her a half-glass of red wine. She was very critical of how it was poured and presented, as though she was getting it in a high-class restaurant, not from her kid. Oh, and we had to fetch her towel and pajamas. I can't remember a single time she said thank you, and this was the routine since I was fairly little. I know I was responsible for dinner as soon as I could reach the stove, I still had to stand on a stool to reach the cupboards. And I remember pouring her wine in the apartment we lived in when I was in third grade. So I must have been eight or nine. I did enjoy cooking though, I still do. And with all that practise I'm pretty good! Lol. Waiting on her was a full-time job. I never had any time to myself until she went to bed, or I went to take a bath. I wasn't allowed to lock the door, but she was always too lazy to get off her ass and get me from the bath, she just screamed from across the house louder and louder and louder and louder until I came to her. I used to take baths for an hour or longer, just so I could be alone. Luckily, we didn't have to dress her in the morning! She was always asleep until well after we went to school anyway. Jae Re: Hugs? >>>>>She always wanted someone to rub her head, and neck when she was hung over, had a head ache. Oh and us girls would run for the hills because she wanted us to sand the callus's on her feet, while she laid on the couch, watching TV. YUCK!!! OMG my nada has tried to get each of the grandkids to give her a foot massage & tend to her NASTY feet while she kicks back & relaxes. Luckily it was just a back massage when it was bro & I... > > > > How many of you were hugged by nada/fada a young child? > > > > My grandmother gave good hugs. > > No memories of hugs from my fada. > > My nada hugged me only once that I can remember. I was in the > kitchen > > with her — she pulled me onto her lap, hugged me, and started > stroking > > the skin on my hand saying how soft it was. I remember pulling > away, > > because her sudden show of affection felt so weird. > > > > My sister had a similar one-time childhood hugging event with our > nada. > > > > That lack of affection seems so sad. > > Hugs are so important. > > > > > > Likewise, I never heard them say " I love you. " > > Not until I was an adult & my sister managed to train them to say > it > > mechanically. ..which was so much worse! > > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 Man, I had it easy. I'd rather be beaten. Khris > > > > > > How many of you were hugged by nada/fada a young child? > > > > > > My grandmother gave good hugs. > > > No memories of hugs from my fada. > > > My nada hugged me only once that I can remember. I was in the > > kitchen > > > with her — she pulled me onto her lap, hugged me, and started > > stroking > > > the skin on my hand saying how soft it was. I remember pulling > > away, > > > because her sudden show of affection felt so weird. > > > > > > My sister had a similar one-time childhood hugging event with our > > nada. > > > > > > That lack of affection seems so sad. > > > Hugs are so important. > > > > > > > > > Likewise, I never heard them say " I love you. " > > > Not until I was an adult & my sister managed to train them to say > > it > > > mechanically. ..which was so much worse! > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ ______________ > Be a better friend, newshound, and > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2008 Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 Nope, not many hugs! I remembered liking going to mass with my dad because when everyone got up to shake hands, I'd get a hug and a kiss. It was almost the only time straight-out affection was given. And when my dad would try to do something silly like dance with my mother in the kitchen, I remember EVERY single time he tried, she would whine about how he was going to hurt her back. I remember joining him when she wouldn't, as if to show her how to have a good time, dancing on dad's feet around the room - until we bumped into my mother and got shouted at. I don't remember when dad stopped doing cute things like that with her, but it is an amazingly rare thing, if ever, now. Dancing a silly waltz in the kitchen is a thing my hubby and I do often with the kids giggling and joining in - lots of spins and dips. You CAN rewrite history with the next generation. Cheryl > > How many of you were hugged by nada/fada a young child? > > My grandmother gave good hugs. > No memories of hugs from my fada. > My nada hugged me only once that I can remember. I was in the kitchen > with her — she pulled me onto her lap, hugged me, and started stroking > the skin on my hand saying how soft it was. I remember pulling away, > because her sudden show of affection felt so weird. > > My sister had a similar one-time childhood hugging event with our nada. > > That lack of affection seems so sad. > Hugs are so important. > > > Likewise, I never heard them say " I love you. " > Not until I was an adult & my sister managed to train them to say it > mechanically...which was so much worse! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 my nada was overly-affectionate. smothering me all the time and freaking out if i didn't want to " snuggle " with her before i went to bed or just hold her hand while she drove when i was 15 and 16 yrs old. > > > > How many of you were hugged by nada/fada a young child? > > > > My grandmother gave good hugs. > > No memories of hugs from my fada. > > My nada hugged me only once that I can remember. I was in the > kitchen > > with her — she pulled me onto her lap, hugged me, and started > stroking > > the skin on my hand saying how soft it was. I remember pulling > away, > > because her sudden show of affection felt so weird. > > > > My sister had a similar one-time childhood hugging event with our > nada. > > > > That lack of affection seems so sad. > > Hugs are so important. > > > > > > Likewise, I never heard them say " I love you. " > > Not until I was an adult & my sister managed to train them to say > it > > mechanically...which was so much worse! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 I never had hugs from mine that I can recall anyway. the thought of having to snuggle with her... no way jose'! I would be running for the hills! > > > > > > How many of you were hugged by nada/fada a young child? > > > > > > My grandmother gave good hugs. > > > No memories of hugs from my fada. > > > My nada hugged me only once that I can remember. I was in the > > kitchen > > > with her — she pulled me onto her lap, hugged me, and started > > stroking > > > the skin on my hand saying how soft it was. I remember pulling > > away, > > > because her sudden show of affection felt so weird. > > > > > > My sister had a similar one-time childhood hugging event with our > > nada. > > > > > > That lack of affection seems so sad. > > > Hugs are so important. > > > > > > > > > Likewise, I never heard them say " I love you. " > > > Not until I was an adult & my sister managed to train them to say > > it > > > mechanically...which was so much worse! > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 Ditto here. One of her guaranteed rages was if I didn't want to hug/kiss her back. > > my nada was overly-affectionate. smothering me all the time and > freaking out if i didn't want to " snuggle " with her before i went to > bed or just hold her hand while she drove when i was 15 and 16 yrs > old. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 My mom still crawls into bed with me in the middle of the night when I'm home. It's so childlike and sad. writermanque wrote: Ditto here. One of her guaranteed rages was if I didn't want to hug/kiss her back. > > my nada was overly-affectionate. smothering me all the time and > freaking out if i didn't want to " snuggle " with her before i went to > bed or just hold her hand while she drove when i was 15 and 16 yrs > old. > --------------------------------- Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 I am glad this topic came up. My nada was always way too affectionate, in a way that actually really creeps me out sometimes. a few weeks ago someone referred to their nada's behavior as " almost incestuous. " that struck a chord with me. no sexual abuse in its strict form, but just too much touching--always wanting to snuggle in bed, wanting me to sleep with her, " play spoons " like her husband (my lucky dad who got OUT) used to do, hold hands, etc. Gross! i remember occasions when she would beat me then want to comfort me or get me to snuggle with her. once, when i was 16, she wanted me to sleep in her bed that night after a nice beating in the afternoon. i had had enough and went to the neighbors and called the police instead! not about the snuggle of course, but the beating. but that is a whole other story with a " good " ending: never again did she abuse me physically after having to meet me at the police station... anyway, even as an adult or the last time i visted her when i was 24 (I am now 36) she got SO MAD because i opted to sleep on the couch. she wanted me to snuggle like we used to. there were other things. just inappropriate boundaries. wanting me to talk to her while she was bathing. even if she raised up out of the tub to scrub her +* & %^, sitting around all weekend every weekend with nothing but a t'shirt on and sometimes just hanging out everywhere indian style or her legs spread open, or even asking me to pop pimples on her butt! (Please, if you are offended by my frankness, it is not my intention; I just really need to be frank and this really isn't polite conversation to bring up) the thing that was one of the most shameful things for me had to do with my own body and weight. i was a ballet dancer as I mentioned before and my mother always monitored my weight. keep in mind in highschool i was 90 pounds dripping wet and had eating disorder issues that she never clued into. she used to make me pull my pants down so she could stare at my butt. she would compare my butt cheeks and tell me which one was lower or if they were both drooping and how i should lose weight ... again, even as an adult on that last visit she tried to barge in on me in the bathroom. she was trying to catch me naked and mad that i locked the door. another thing: the entire time i lived with her, until i was 18, i could never shut my bedroom door, let alone lock it. locking the bathroom door was not really allowed either. any thoughts or does this ring a bell? i have been nc to lc for a long, long time; lately, i am thinking of patterns and ways of being i have now that connect to this insane childhood i had. and it is only recently, too, that i am thinking so much about borderline and its gravity ... thanks for your ears, and again, please excuse if you find any descriptions too explicit or direct. but how else to give it voice? -- crockett JosoBak25 wrote: My mom still crawls into bed with me in the middle of the night when I'm home. It's so childlike and sad. writermanque wrote: Ditto here. One of her guaranteed rages was if I didn't want to hug/kiss her back. > > my nada was overly-affectionate. smothering me all the time and > freaking out if i didn't want to " snuggle " with her before i went to > bed or just hold her hand while she drove when i was 15 and 16 yrs > old. > --------------------------------- Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 Crockett, Your frankness does not offend me at all. We all have our stories here. As for privacy and locking doors, well, that was absent in our home too. We weren't even allowed to close the door to our bedroom. If the door was shut, she would burst in and immediately accuse my sister and i of doing something we shouldn't be doing (we shared a room). And, she didn't like the bathroom door locked for some reason. she said it was because we only had one bathroom, and what if she needed in there right away....but im sure that wasn't the case. the only door allowed to be shut in the house was her own....and she didn't even do that unless she was in one of her famous " silent treatments " . when she got mad at us for something stupid, she would stomp to her room and shut the door and ignore you if you tried to talk to her. she would usually sleep with her door open so she could be alert and hear what was going on in the rest of the house. I couldn't leave my bedroom without walking past hers, and almost everytime i left my room and passed hers, she had to know what i was doing, why i got up, where i was going, etc... there were times where i got up in the middle of the night to pee or something, and she would catch me and say " what are you doing up!! Get your ass back to bed!!! " or i would sometimes wake up really thirsty, and get a drink of water from the kitchen. this was really bad....if she caught me in the kitchen without her approval. if i got a drink of water at 3 in the morning, she would hear me (because she slept with her door open, and the place was small) and get out of bed to question me on what i was doing, and why, and then get angry at me because i woke her up. ugggg...sorry...i just kinda ranted here....ive been reliving a lot of these memories. i think when i;ve relived a lot of them, ill start feeling better again. thanks for listening. > > > > my nada was overly-affectionate. smothering me all the time and > > freaking out if i didn't want to " snuggle " with her before i went to > > bed or just hold her hand while she drove when i was 15 and 16 yrs > > old. > > > > --------------------------------- > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 thank you, Sara Jo. Sounds like you were describing my childhood! Same thing here with those open doors. I remember waiting sometimes until it sounded like she was asleep and i would quietly close the door but with a piece of paper inserted between the door and the frame to keep it from shutting all the way and makin noise. She didn't like me to even be awake when she wasn't so I learned how to be really sneaky. Thanks for writing. It is nice to tell these stories frankly and to people that aren't so hung up on the idea that " family is family " and you should all be together, etc. Writing these things can make you feel better too, Crockett Sara Jo wrote: Crockett, Your frankness does not offend me at all. We all have our stories here. As for privacy and locking doors, well, that was absent in our home too. We weren't even allowed to close the door to our bedroom. If the door was shut, she would burst in and immediately accuse my sister and i of doing something we shouldn't be doing (we shared a room). And, she didn't like the bathroom door locked for some reason. she said it was because we only had one bathroom, and what if she needed in there right away....but im sure that wasn't the case. the only door allowed to be shut in the house was her own....and she didn't even do that unless she was in one of her famous " silent treatments " . when she got mad at us for something stupid, she would stomp to her room and shut the door and ignore you if you tried to talk to her. she would usually sleep with her door open so she could be alert and hear what was going on in the rest of the house. I couldn't leave my bedroom without walking past hers, and almost everytime i left my room and passed hers, she had to know what i was doing, why i got up, where i was going, etc... there were times where i got up in the middle of the night to pee or something, and she would catch me and say " what are you doing up!! Get your ass back to bed!!! " or i would sometimes wake up really thirsty, and get a drink of water from the kitchen. this was really bad....if she caught me in the kitchen without her approval. if i got a drink of water at 3 in the morning, she would hear me (because she slept with her door open, and the place was small) and get out of bed to question me on what i was doing, and why, and then get angry at me because i woke her up. ugggg...sorry...i just kinda ranted here....ive been reliving a lot of these memories. i think when i;ve relived a lot of them, ill start feeling better again. thanks for listening. > > > > my nada was overly-affectionate. smothering me all the time and > > freaking out if i didn't want to " snuggle " with her before i went to > > bed or just hold her hand while she drove when i was 15 and 16 yrs > > old. > > > > --------------------------------- > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 This reminds me of the topic we had a while back where we decided the kids' book Love You Forever was about a creepy BPD mother! > > > > my nada was overly-affectionate. smothering me all the time and > > freaking out if i didn't want to " snuggle " with her before i went to > > bed or just hold her hand while she drove when i was 15 and 16 yrs > > old. > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 Crockett, Yes, I think all this is really weird. I can't tell from your post whether you are male or female (am assuming you're female since you mentioned weighing only 90#s and being a ballet dancer, but that could still be a male) - but either way it is most inappropriate behavior from a mother - - and definitely incestuous. AZClown Re: Re: Hugs? I am glad this topic came up. My nada was always way too affectionate, in a way that actually really creeps me out sometimes. a few weeks ago someone referred to their nada's behavior as " almost incestuous. " that struck a chord with me. no sexual abuse in its strict form, but just too much touching--always wanting to snuggle in bed, wanting me to sleep with her, " play spoons " like her husband (my lucky dad who got OUT) used to do, hold hands, etc. Gross! i remember occasions when she would beat me then want to comfort me or get me to snuggle with her. once, when i was 16, she wanted me to sleep in her bed that night after a nice beating in the afternoon. i had had enough and went to the neighbors and called the police instead! not about the snuggle of course, but the beating. but that is a whole other story with a " good " ending: never again did she abuse me physically after having to meet me at the police station... anyway, even as an adult or the last time i visted her when i was 24 (I am now 36) she got SO MAD because i opted to sleep on the couch. she wanted me to snuggle like we used to. there were other things. just inappropriate boundaries. wanting me to talk to her while she was bathing. even if she raised up out of the tub to scrub her +* & %^, sitting around all weekend every weekend with nothing but a t'shirt on and sometimes just hanging out everywhere indian style or her legs spread open, or even asking me to pop pimples on her butt! (Please, if you are offended by my frankness, it is not my intention; I just really need to be frank and this really isn't polite conversation to bring up) the thing that was one of the most shameful things for me had to do with my own body and weight. i was a ballet dancer as I mentioned before and my mother always monitored my weight. keep in mind in highschool i was 90 pounds dripping wet and had eating disorder issues that she never clued into. she used to make me pull my pants down so she could stare at my butt. she would compare my butt cheeks and tell me which one was lower or if they were both drooping and how i should lose weight ... again, even as an adult on that last visit she tried to barge in on me in the bathroom. she was trying to catch me naked and mad that i locked the door. another thing: the entire time i lived with her, until i was 18, i could never shut my bedroom door, let alone lock it. locking the bathroom door was not really allowed either. any thoughts or does this ring a bell? i have been nc to lc for a long, long time; lately, i am thinking of patterns and ways of being i have now that connect to this insane childhood i had. and it is only recently, too, that i am thinking so much about borderline and its gravity ... thanks for your ears, and again, please excuse if you find any descriptions too explicit or direct. but how else to give it voice? -- crockett JosoBak25 <josobak25yahoo (DOT) com> wrote: My mom still crawls into bed with me in the middle of the night when I'm home. It's so childlike and sad. writermanque <writermanque@ yahoo.com> wrote: Ditto here. One of her guaranteed rages was if I didn't want to hug/kiss her back. > > my nada was overly-affectionate . smothering me all the time and > freaking out if i didn't want to " snuggle " with her before i went to > bed or just hold her hand while she drove when i was 15 and 16 yrs > old. > ------------ --------- --------- --- Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2008 Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 Everyone: This thread hits home with me. The underlying theme of this thread is Nadas not respecting boundaries, personal space and using their invasion of it in a threatening and/or demeaning manner. My nada also had a no closed door policy. My exHB had the same policy. I didn't pee, poo or bathe alone for nearly 30 years. Now that I get to go to the bathroom alone and do my thing or take a bath or shower by myself, I really feel like I'm living large. Funny how the little things excite me these days. Khris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2008 Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 > > How many of you were hugged by nada/fada a young child? I was hugged by my nada, mostly when she was in a good mood or needed affection. The hugs were always smothering, and still are. They're too tight, too close, too long. I'd always want to pull away earlier, and she'd say " Don't be afraid to hug. " and hug me more. It never felt like warmth, more like engulfment. Very uncomfortable. Today, I have difficulty hugging people unless I know them really well and really like them. The casual " I just met you " hug that's popular in the area of California where I live just creeps me out. My dad would hug me, but usually when I went up to him for a hug. He rarely initiated. qwerty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2008 Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 Nada would always hug me when SHE needed it, never to comfort or reasure me. One time I hadn't seen her in months, she flew from overseas to see me. I didnt want her there, she came anyways because Dad was begging me to let her come over for a visit to " give us a break " When she got off the plane she just wrapped her arms around me like clinging saran wrap and went " Oh, oh, oh! " like she was having an orgasm. She picked up my arms and put them around herself and pleaded " Awww, wont you give me a hug? They are soooo RARE! " she exclaimed. I just wanted to be anywhere but right there. It made me sick inside. She was very repulsive. For long as I can remember her hugs were clinging and very needy. Being held by her as an infant/toddler it was never a supportive or comforting. She laments to her own FOO " she never liked to be held, what a strange child. Someting is wrong with her. " I sensed her clinging neediness. yeeeech! Tina > > > > How many of you were hugged by nada/fada a young child? > > I was hugged by my nada, mostly when she was in a good mood or needed > affection. The hugs were always smothering, and still are. They're too > tight, too close, too long. I'd always want to pull away earlier, and > she'd say " Don't be afraid to hug. " and hug me more. It never felt > like warmth, more like engulfment. Very uncomfortable. > > Today, I have difficulty hugging people unless I know them really well > and really like them. The casual " I just met you " hug that's popular > in the area of California where I live just creeps me out. > > My dad would hug me, but usually when I went up to him for a hug. He > rarely initiated. > > qwerty > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2008 Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 Same here. My mother's touch has always made me sick. Geez. Do I repress much? > > Nada would always hug me when SHE needed it, never to comfort or > reasure me. One time I hadn't seen her in months, she flew from > overseas to see me. I didnt want her there, she came anyways because > Dad was begging me to let her come over for a visit to " give us a > break " When she got off the plane she just wrapped her arms around me > like clinging saran wrap and went " Oh, oh, oh! " like she was having > an orgasm. She picked up my arms and put them around herself and > pleaded " Awww, wont you give me a hug? They are soooo RARE! " she > exclaimed. I just wanted to be anywhere but right there. It made me > sick inside. She was very repulsive. For long as I can remember her > hugs were clinging and very needy. Being held by her as an > infant/toddler it was never a supportive or comforting. She laments > to her own FOO " she never liked to be held, what a strange child. > Someting is wrong with her. " I sensed her clinging neediness. yeeeech! > > Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2008 Report Share Posted January 18, 2008 My nada was rarely huggy-kissy with me, but several years ago she went to visit my " daughters " who lived with their father at the time. Nada was invited by my exHB's 2nd wife (who my mother still keeps in contact with - her only daughter, I suppose. But, they now argue like my Nada and I.) When my nada got off the plane, she had a dozen roses for the 2nd wife and held her hand the whole way out of the terminal and in the backseat on the car ride home. The 2nd wife was kinda freaked out by this and called me for somewhat of an explanation. I told her, you invited her now she's your problem. I warned her my nada was a freak and she didn't believe me. She still doesn't get it. My nada found a replacement daughter in my exHB's 2nd wife. Gives me a little giggle every time I think about it. He he he. My exHB's wife, now she's a whole nother story. A nada in the making. Khris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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