Guest guest Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 Yes, earejay, you absolutely need to do what is best for you. Anything else would be enabling nada to mistreat you. Your post is not too long, there is no limit to length here. We just 'talk' until we get it said :-) The abbreviations can all be found on the BPD Central site, best I remember. Or just ask and someone will tell you. Congratulations on choosing a normal life over chaos! Sound like good health and stability to me. Glad you're here! AZClown new to this I found this group from BPD Central. I have so many questions about the group and how it works but I don't know where to look. Are their " rules " to posting? I see a lot of abbreviations used. I'm sure I can figure them out the more I read, but maybe there is a place that lists the commonly used ones for this group. I am convinced my mother is a highly functioning bpd. I am 35 years old and have probably been aware of bpd and the notion that my mother has it for about 4 years. Someone put me onto the book " Understanding the Borderline Mother " at about that time. I've been lucky because I didn't become overly conscious of my mother's crazy behavior until I was in my 20's. As a middle child most of her attention focused on my older sister (who she has the most volatile relationship with) and younger brother (the golden child). I managed to fly under the radar until adulthood. Our relationship' s volatility increased exponentially when I got married. No big surprise there...my husband is more important to me than my mother and she is clearly threatened by that. I found BPD Central and this group because of recent events with my mother that have finally caused me to cut myself off from her completely. I'm tired of the drama. I'm tired of the chaos. I'm tired of waiting around wondering when she is going to unleash on me next. I'm tired of wondering what act am I going to engage in that she will twist and then become enraged with me. I'm tired of apologizing when I don't mean it because she never sees herself as wrong. I'm tired of everything being that she is always right and I am always wrong. I don't think she has ever apologized to me for anything. I feel as if I should feel guilty that I can't imagine letting my mother back into my life, but what I really feel is relieved. I consider myself lucky that I don't have BPD. I have a good marriage and two good children. I often wonder how I made it out of my mother's house as unscathed as I have. At 35 I don't wish to continue having her drag me down or create drama in my life that doesn't need to be there. I want to live the " normal " life I deserve and that my kids deserve. My parents have been married for 43 years and together for 50. My father is a good person who loves his children and is logical and rational. Having said that, he is a complete enabler and is in total denial about his wife. While he would never do or say the things that she does, he doesn't see her behavior as crazy either. I feel bad that he is very distraught over the fact that I have communicated to him I won't have anything further to do with my mother, but I can't let her back in my life so that he won't be distraught. That's what I've done in the past. I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not sure if I was supposed to limit the length. This is all so new and the break from my BPD mother is so recent. While I know she is ill and can't control her behavior, I don't know what more I can do other than cut myself off since she doesn't think she needs help. Cutting her off may be the wrong thing to do for someone with BPD, but do I have any other choices? Part of me hopes that me cutting her off could be her rock bottom and that she will get the help she SO desperately needs. Regardless, don't I need to do what is best for me? ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 earejay, Sounds like you're in the right place--glad you found us. Your story is a (sadly) familiar one. I give you kudos for your decision to look out for yourself. Going NC (no contact)with your mother seems to have been a good choice for you. Lots of people here have made the same decision, or at least Limited Contact with their parent(s). We also understand how difficult it can be when the rest of the FamilyOfOrigin chooses to deny the problem. A list of abbreviations should have been sent to your email address when you joined the list. If you didn't get it, try clicking " Files " in the box at the top left of the page. You can make your post as long or short as you like--there are no rules on length. (The only thing I would mention is that if you reply to someone else's post, delete the parts that aren't relevant to your reply. Some people get the threads in digest form, and it saves them lots of trouble). You should also have received a copy of our Covenant (rules about how to get along here), but if not, look in the " Files " section for that, too. As others have said, we're glad you're here but sorry you qualify. Hope you find as much support and validation as I have =) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 Earejay: I don't think anyone is wrong for cutting their Nada (BPD mother) out of their life if that is what helps you keep on an even keel. Many of us on this board, me included (12 years), have none or limited contact with our borderline parents. I think it's a very common link here and is not frowned upon, which makes me feel good because this is the only group of people who seem to understand why I am NC with my Nada. Khris > > Yes, earejay, you absolutely need to do what is best for you. Anything else would be enabling nada to mistreat you. Your post is not too long, there is no limit to length here. We just 'talk' until we get it said :-) > The abbreviations can all be found on the BPD Central site, best I remember. Or just ask and someone will tell you. > Congratulations on choosing a normal life over chaos! Sound like good health and stability to me. Glad you're here! > AZClown > > > new to this > > I found this group from BPD Central. I have so many questions about the group and how it > works but I don't know where to look. Are their " rules " to posting? I see a lot of > abbreviations used. I'm sure I can figure them out the more I read, but maybe there is a > place that lists the commonly used ones for this group. > > I am convinced my mother is a highly functioning bpd. I am 35 years old and have > probably been aware of bpd and the notion that my mother has it for about 4 years. > Someone put me onto the book " Understanding the Borderline Mother " at about that time. > I've been lucky because I didn't become overly conscious of my mother's crazy behavior > until I was in my 20's. As a middle child most of her attention focused on my older sister > (who she has the most volatile relationship with) and younger brother (the golden child). I > managed to fly under the radar until adulthood. Our relationship' s volatility increased > exponentially when I got married. No big surprise there...my husband is more important > to me than my mother and she is clearly threatened by that. > > I found BPD Central and this group because of recent events with my mother that have > finally caused me to cut myself off from her completely. I'm tired of the drama. I'm tired > of the chaos. I'm tired of waiting around wondering when she is going to unleash on me > next. I'm tired of wondering what act am I going to engage in that she will twist and then > become enraged with me. I'm tired of apologizing when I don't mean it because she never > sees herself as wrong. I'm tired of everything being that she is always right and I am > always wrong. I don't think she has ever apologized to me for anything. I feel as if I > should feel guilty that I can't imagine letting my mother back into my life, but what I really > feel is relieved. I consider myself lucky that I don't have BPD. I have a good marriage and > two good children. I often wonder how I made it out of my mother's house as unscathed > as I have. At 35 I don't wish to continue having her drag me down or create drama in my > life that doesn't need to be there. I want to live the " normal " life I deserve and that my > kids deserve. My parents have been married for 43 years and together for 50. My father > is a good person who loves his children and is logical and rational. Having said that, he is > a complete enabler and is in total denial about his wife. While he would never do or say > the things that she does, he doesn't see her behavior as crazy either. I feel bad that he is > very distraught over the fact that I have communicated to him I won't have anything > further to do with my mother, but I can't let her back in my life so that he won't be > distraught. That's what I've done in the past. > > I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not sure if I was supposed to limit the length. This is all so > new and the break from my BPD mother is so recent. While I know she is ill and can't > control her behavior, I don't know what more I can do other than cut myself off since she > doesn't think she needs help. Cutting her off may be the wrong thing to do for someone > with BPD, but do I have any other choices? Part of me hopes that me cutting her off could > be her rock bottom and that she will get the help she SO desperately needs. Regardless, > don't I need to do what is best for me? > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ ______________ > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 Kris, Your rockin the NC......12 years??? I have been LC with mine for 9 years, (phone calls once a week, visit 3-4 times a year) and now NC since August 07. NC is hard but gets easier everyday. She could no longer control her self with the 1 phone call a week, started acting paranoid thinking I was avoiding her, accusing me of having my kids lie to her on the phone. Its just so sick that because they have a feeling or a thought, that it must be true. I was/am just so sick of trying to convince her otherwise. I think if the rest of the world ran on feelings.....it would be a scary freakin world with people plowing each other down for a look or for a bad day. NC is so far the free-est I have ever felt. drlingirl > > > > Yes, earejay, you absolutely need to do what is best for you. > Anything else would be enabling nada to mistreat you. Your post is > not too long, there is no limit to length here. We just 'talk' until > we get it said :-) > > The abbreviations can all be found on the BPD Central site, best I > remember. Or just ask and someone will tell you. > > Congratulations on choosing a normal life over chaos! Sound like > good health and stability to me. Glad you're here! > > AZClown > > > > > > new to this > > > > I found this group from BPD Central. I have so many questions about > the group and how it > > works but I don't know where to look. Are their " rules " to posting? > I see a lot of > > abbreviations used. I'm sure I can figure them out the more I read, > but maybe there is a > > place that lists the commonly used ones for this group. > > > > I am convinced my mother is a highly functioning bpd. I am 35 years > old and have > > probably been aware of bpd and the notion that my mother has it for > about 4 years. > > Someone put me onto the book " Understanding the Borderline Mother " > at about that time. > > I've been lucky because I didn't become overly conscious of my > mother's crazy behavior > > until I was in my 20's. As a middle child most of her attention > focused on my older sister > > (who she has the most volatile relationship with) and younger > brother (the golden child). I > > managed to fly under the radar until adulthood. Our relationship' s > volatility increased > > exponentially when I got married. No big surprise there...my > husband is more important > > to me than my mother and she is clearly threatened by that. > > > > I found BPD Central and this group because of recent events with my > mother that have > > finally caused me to cut myself off from her completely. I'm tired > of the drama. I'm tired > > of the chaos. I'm tired of waiting around wondering when she is > going to unleash on me > > next. I'm tired of wondering what act am I going to engage in that > she will twist and then > > become enraged with me. I'm tired of apologizing when I don't mean > it because she never > > sees herself as wrong. I'm tired of everything being that she is > always right and I am > > always wrong. I don't think she has ever apologized to me for > anything. I feel as if I > > should feel guilty that I can't imagine letting my mother back into > my life, but what I really > > feel is relieved. I consider myself lucky that I don't have BPD. I > have a good marriage and > > two good children. I often wonder how I made it out of my mother's > house as unscathed > > as I have. At 35 I don't wish to continue having her drag me down > or create drama in my > > life that doesn't need to be there. I want to live the " normal " > life I deserve and that my > > kids deserve. My parents have been married for 43 years and > together for 50. My father > > is a good person who loves his children and is logical and > rational. Having said that, he is > > a complete enabler and is in total denial about his wife. While he > would never do or say > > the things that she does, he doesn't see her behavior as crazy > either. I feel bad that he is > > very distraught over the fact that I have communicated to him I > won't have anything > > further to do with my mother, but I can't let her back in my life > so that he won't be > > distraught. That's what I've done in the past. > > > > I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not sure if I was supposed to limit > the length. This is all so > > new and the break from my BPD mother is so recent. While I know she > is ill and can't > > control her behavior, I don't know what more I can do other than > cut myself off since she > > doesn't think she needs help. Cutting her off may be the wrong > thing to do for someone > > with BPD, but do I have any other choices? Part of me hopes that me > cutting her off could > > be her rock bottom and that she will get the help she SO > desperately needs. Regardless, > > don't I need to do what is best for me? > > > > > > > > > > > > > _____________________________________________________________________ _ > ______________ > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.. > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? category=shopping > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 Why " Nada " for bpd mother? I'm assuming there is some meaning behind it. Thanks for the feedback. It is nice to hear that I am not the first one to cut-off my parent. My friends and spouse have been wonderful and supportive. They hear the stories and think my mother is crazy, but you can tell they don't understand how you could cut your mother out of your life. My spouse gets it. He has a narcissistic father who we have been estranged from for 3 years now. How we both turned out to be " normal " or as normal as possible with parents like ours, found each other and try to lead as normal a life as possible is unbelievable. Any thoughts on cutting out one's Nada but trying to maintain a relationship with your father who is married to your Nada? Dad doesn't have BPD, just in deep denial. > > > > Yes, earejay, you absolutely need to do what is best for you. > Anything else would be enabling nada to mistreat you. Your post is > not too long, there is no limit to length here. We just 'talk' until > we get it said :-) > > The abbreviations can all be found on the BPD Central site, best I > remember. Or just ask and someone will tell you. > > Congratulations on choosing a normal life over chaos! Sound like > good health and stability to me. Glad you're here! > > AZClown > > > > > > new to this > > > > I found this group from BPD Central. I have so many questions about > the group and how it > > works but I don't know where to look. Are their " rules " to posting? > I see a lot of > > abbreviations used. I'm sure I can figure them out the more I read, > but maybe there is a > > place that lists the commonly used ones for this group. > > > > I am convinced my mother is a highly functioning bpd. I am 35 years > old and have > > probably been aware of bpd and the notion that my mother has it for > about 4 years. > > Someone put me onto the book " Understanding the Borderline Mother " > at about that time. > > I've been lucky because I didn't become overly conscious of my > mother's crazy behavior > > until I was in my 20's. As a middle child most of her attention > focused on my older sister > > (who she has the most volatile relationship with) and younger > brother (the golden child). I > > managed to fly under the radar until adulthood. Our relationship' s > volatility increased > > exponentially when I got married. No big surprise there...my > husband is more important > > to me than my mother and she is clearly threatened by that. > > > > I found BPD Central and this group because of recent events with my > mother that have > > finally caused me to cut myself off from her completely. I'm tired > of the drama. I'm tired > > of the chaos. I'm tired of waiting around wondering when she is > going to unleash on me > > next. I'm tired of wondering what act am I going to engage in that > she will twist and then > > become enraged with me. I'm tired of apologizing when I don't mean > it because she never > > sees herself as wrong. I'm tired of everything being that she is > always right and I am > > always wrong. I don't think she has ever apologized to me for > anything. I feel as if I > > should feel guilty that I can't imagine letting my mother back into > my life, but what I really > > feel is relieved. I consider myself lucky that I don't have BPD. I > have a good marriage and > > two good children. I often wonder how I made it out of my mother's > house as unscathed > > as I have. At 35 I don't wish to continue having her drag me down > or create drama in my > > life that doesn't need to be there. I want to live the " normal " > life I deserve and that my > > kids deserve. My parents have been married for 43 years and > together for 50. My father > > is a good person who loves his children and is logical and > rational. Having said that, he is > > a complete enabler and is in total denial about his wife. While he > would never do or say > > the things that she does, he doesn't see her behavior as crazy > either. I feel bad that he is > > very distraught over the fact that I have communicated to him I > won't have anything > > further to do with my mother, but I can't let her back in my life > so that he won't be > > distraught. That's what I've done in the past. > > > > I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not sure if I was supposed to limit > the length. This is all so > > new and the break from my BPD mother is so recent. While I know she > is ill and can't > > control her behavior, I don't know what more I can do other than > cut myself off since she > > doesn't think she needs help. Cutting her off may be the wrong > thing to do for someone > > with BPD, but do I have any other choices? Part of me hopes that me > cutting her off could > > be her rock bottom and that she will get the help she SO > desperately needs. Regardless, > > don't I need to do what is best for me? > > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > ______________ > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.. > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 Thanx Drlingirl. Yes, 12 years is an accomplishment, but I did have to go out in style and she still tries to find a way back in even now. I did everything I could possibly do, as her all-bad child, to be all-bad and essentially fall off the face of the earth to her. I said everything I could possibly say to gain my exit. I called her everything but purple, and would have called her purple if I thought she'd take offense to it. I ranted and raved like a true professional witch. Of course, I was trained by a pro, so that part was relatively easy. It was my first and last rage. She still sends unsuspecting church bishops to my house to try to cajole me back - always a new one wondering if I knew how much my mother misses me? Hmmm. They generally scatter like roaches when you turn on a light when I try to explain my mother's psychotic behavior. She has befriended my psycho ex-husband's psycho wife (who curiously enough calls me daily because she believes that I am her best friend. A bit BPD too, I think) and tries to get at my girls to get to me. And, worst of all, she still haunts me like a ghost in my own head. As I've said before, she did a real number on me and it has only been recently that I've begun to work on taking care of me instead of her memories. I was foolish enough to believe that I needed to take care of my family and get my kids raised before I was allowed the pleasure of fixing myself. I wish that I had really sought this out many years ago and I would probably be far better off today if I had. Instead, I have just pushed it all inside and away and never really dealt with any of it, and most of it is pretty nasty. I give my highest kudos to anyone who can recognize this disorder and work on healing their own inner wounds before they become grandparents. I'm nearly 40 and a grandmother now. It's really hard to dredge this muck up after all these years. ; ) Khris > > > > > > Yes, earejay, you absolutely need to do what is best for you. > > Anything else would be enabling nada to mistreat you. Your post > is > > not too long, there is no limit to length here. We just 'talk' > until > > we get it said :-) > > > The abbreviations can all be found on the BPD Central site, best > I > > remember. Or just ask and someone will tell you. > > > Congratulations on choosing a normal life over chaos! Sound > like > > good health and stability to me. Glad you're here! > > > AZClown > > > > > > > > > new to this > > > > > > I found this group from BPD Central. I have so many questions > about > > the group and how it > > > works but I don't know where to look. Are their " rules " to > posting? > > I see a lot of > > > abbreviations used. I'm sure I can figure them out the more I > read, > > but maybe there is a > > > place that lists the commonly used ones for this group. > > > > > > I am convinced my mother is a highly functioning bpd. I am 35 > years > > old and have > > > probably been aware of bpd and the notion that my mother has it > for > > about 4 years. > > > Someone put me onto the book " Understanding the Borderline > Mother " > > at about that time. > > > I've been lucky because I didn't become overly conscious of my > > mother's crazy behavior > > > until I was in my 20's. As a middle child most of her attention > > focused on my older sister > > > (who she has the most volatile relationship with) and younger > > brother (the golden child). I > > > managed to fly under the radar until adulthood. Our > relationship' s > > volatility increased > > > exponentially when I got married. No big surprise there...my > > husband is more important > > > to me than my mother and she is clearly threatened by that. > > > > > > I found BPD Central and this group because of recent events with > my > > mother that have > > > finally caused me to cut myself off from her completely. I'm > tired > > of the drama. I'm tired > > > of the chaos. I'm tired of waiting around wondering when she is > > going to unleash on me > > > next. I'm tired of wondering what act am I going to engage in > that > > she will twist and then > > > become enraged with me. I'm tired of apologizing when I don't > mean > > it because she never > > > sees herself as wrong. I'm tired of everything being that she is > > always right and I am > > > always wrong. I don't think she has ever apologized to me for > > anything. I feel as if I > > > should feel guilty that I can't imagine letting my mother back > into > > my life, but what I really > > > feel is relieved. I consider myself lucky that I don't have BPD. > I > > have a good marriage and > > > two good children. I often wonder how I made it out of my > mother's > > house as unscathed > > > as I have. At 35 I don't wish to continue having her drag me > down > > or create drama in my > > > life that doesn't need to be there. I want to live the " normal " > > life I deserve and that my > > > kids deserve. My parents have been married for 43 years and > > together for 50. My father > > > is a good person who loves his children and is logical and > > rational. Having said that, he is > > > a complete enabler and is in total denial about his wife. While > he > > would never do or say > > > the things that she does, he doesn't see her behavior as crazy > > either. I feel bad that he is > > > very distraught over the fact that I have communicated to him I > > won't have anything > > > further to do with my mother, but I can't let her back in my > life > > so that he won't be > > > distraught. That's what I've done in the past. > > > > > > I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not sure if I was supposed to > limit > > the length. This is all so > > > new and the break from my BPD mother is so recent. While I know > she > > is ill and can't > > > control her behavior, I don't know what more I can do other than > > cut myself off since she > > > doesn't think she needs help. Cutting her off may be the wrong > > thing to do for someone > > > with BPD, but do I have any other choices? Part of me hopes that > me > > cutting her off could > > > be her rock bottom and that she will get the help she SO > > desperately needs. Regardless, > > > don't I need to do what is best for me? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _____________________________________________________________________ > _ > > ______________ > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.. > > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? > category=shopping > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2008 Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 I agree hole heartedly that knowing about this crap 20 years ago would have been much better than now. I see people like Sara Jo and the other younger posters and I envy them. I too am almost 40 and am amazed that we KO's had awakenings around the same time, same age and went NC. Better late than never......drlingirl > > > > > > > > Yes, earejay, you absolutely need to do what is best for you. > > > Anything else would be enabling nada to mistreat you. Your post > > is > > > not too long, there is no limit to length here. We just 'talk' > > until > > > we get it said :-) > > > > The abbreviations can all be found on the BPD Central site, > best > > I > > > remember. Or just ask and someone will tell you. > > > > Congratulations on choosing a normal life over chaos! Sound > > like > > > good health and stability to me. Glad you're here! > > > > AZClown > > > > > > > > > > > > new to this > > > > > > > > I found this group from BPD Central. I have so many questions > > about > > > the group and how it > > > > works but I don't know where to look. Are their " rules " to > > posting? > > > I see a lot of > > > > abbreviations used. I'm sure I can figure them out the more I > > read, > > > but maybe there is a > > > > place that lists the commonly used ones for this group. > > > > > > > > I am convinced my mother is a highly functioning bpd. I am 35 > > years > > > old and have > > > > probably been aware of bpd and the notion that my mother has it > > for > > > about 4 years. > > > > Someone put me onto the book " Understanding the Borderline > > Mother " > > > at about that time. > > > > I've been lucky because I didn't become overly conscious of my > > > mother's crazy behavior > > > > until I was in my 20's. As a middle child most of her attention > > > focused on my older sister > > > > (who she has the most volatile relationship with) and younger > > > brother (the golden child). I > > > > managed to fly under the radar until adulthood. Our > > relationship' s > > > volatility increased > > > > exponentially when I got married. No big surprise there...my > > > husband is more important > > > > to me than my mother and she is clearly threatened by that. > > > > > > > > I found BPD Central and this group because of recent events > with > > my > > > mother that have > > > > finally caused me to cut myself off from her completely. I'm > > tired > > > of the drama. I'm tired > > > > of the chaos. I'm tired of waiting around wondering when she is > > > going to unleash on me > > > > next. I'm tired of wondering what act am I going to engage in > > that > > > she will twist and then > > > > become enraged with me. I'm tired of apologizing when I don't > > mean > > > it because she never > > > > sees herself as wrong. I'm tired of everything being that she > is > > > always right and I am > > > > always wrong. I don't think she has ever apologized to me for > > > anything. I feel as if I > > > > should feel guilty that I can't imagine letting my mother back > > into > > > my life, but what I really > > > > feel is relieved. I consider myself lucky that I don't have > BPD. > > I > > > have a good marriage and > > > > two good children. I often wonder how I made it out of my > > mother's > > > house as unscathed > > > > as I have. At 35 I don't wish to continue having her drag me > > down > > > or create drama in my > > > > life that doesn't need to be there. I want to live the " normal " > > > life I deserve and that my > > > > kids deserve. My parents have been married for 43 years and > > > together for 50. My father > > > > is a good person who loves his children and is logical and > > > rational. Having said that, he is > > > > a complete enabler and is in total denial about his wife. While > > he > > > would never do or say > > > > the things that she does, he doesn't see her behavior as crazy > > > either. I feel bad that he is > > > > very distraught over the fact that I have communicated to him I > > > won't have anything > > > > further to do with my mother, but I can't let her back in my > > life > > > so that he won't be > > > > distraught. That's what I've done in the past. > > > > > > > > I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not sure if I was supposed to > > limit > > > the length. This is all so > > > > new and the break from my BPD mother is so recent. While I know > > she > > > is ill and can't > > > > control her behavior, I don't know what more I can do other > than > > > cut myself off since she > > > > doesn't think she needs help. Cutting her off may be the wrong > > > thing to do for someone > > > > with BPD, but do I have any other choices? Part of me hopes > that > > me > > > cutting her off could > > > > be her rock bottom and that she will get the help she SO > > > desperately needs. Regardless, > > > > don't I need to do what is best for me? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _____________________________________________________________________ > > _ > > > ______________ > > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.. > > > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? > > category=shopping > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 I know what you mean about the thoughts they think must be real. My grandnada had a caregiver who was wonderful (after months of searching!) -- all of her children (my nada being one of them) were relieved that someone was watching over her. My mother ran her off with her questions about what the other family members were saying about her, etc.....Kept at her until the girl finally quit. My mother's take on the whole thing? " She was stealing from Grandma " . My dad nods in agreement. My uncle, who had control of grandnada's finances, assures me that this caregiver wasn't stealing a dime. Something about personality-disordered people that just loves conspiracy theories. > > > > > > Yes, earejay, you absolutely need to do what is best for you. > > Anything else would be enabling nada to mistreat you. Your post > is > > not too long, there is no limit to length here. We just 'talk' > until > > we get it said :-) > > > The abbreviations can all be found on the BPD Central site, best > I > > remember. Or just ask and someone will tell you. > > > Congratulations on choosing a normal life over chaos! Sound > like > > good health and stability to me. Glad you're here! > > > AZClown > > > > > > > > > new to this > > > > > > I found this group from BPD Central. I have so many questions > about > > the group and how it > > > works but I don't know where to look. Are their " rules " to > posting? > > I see a lot of > > > abbreviations used. I'm sure I can figure them out the more I > read, > > but maybe there is a > > > place that lists the commonly used ones for this group. > > > > > > I am convinced my mother is a highly functioning bpd. I am 35 > years > > old and have > > > probably been aware of bpd and the notion that my mother has it > for > > about 4 years. > > > Someone put me onto the book " Understanding the Borderline > Mother " > > at about that time. > > > I've been lucky because I didn't become overly conscious of my > > mother's crazy behavior > > > until I was in my 20's. As a middle child most of her attention > > focused on my older sister > > > (who she has the most volatile relationship with) and younger > > brother (the golden child). I > > > managed to fly under the radar until adulthood. Our > relationship' s > > volatility increased > > > exponentially when I got married. No big surprise there...my > > husband is more important > > > to me than my mother and she is clearly threatened by that. > > > > > > I found BPD Central and this group because of recent events with > my > > mother that have > > > finally caused me to cut myself off from her completely. I'm > tired > > of the drama. I'm tired > > > of the chaos. I'm tired of waiting around wondering when she is > > going to unleash on me > > > next. I'm tired of wondering what act am I going to engage in > that > > she will twist and then > > > become enraged with me. I'm tired of apologizing when I don't > mean > > it because she never > > > sees herself as wrong. I'm tired of everything being that she is > > always right and I am > > > always wrong. I don't think she has ever apologized to me for > > anything. I feel as if I > > > should feel guilty that I can't imagine letting my mother back > into > > my life, but what I really > > > feel is relieved. I consider myself lucky that I don't have BPD. > I > > have a good marriage and > > > two good children. I often wonder how I made it out of my > mother's > > house as unscathed > > > as I have. At 35 I don't wish to continue having her drag me > down > > or create drama in my > > > life that doesn't need to be there. I want to live the " normal " > > life I deserve and that my > > > kids deserve. My parents have been married for 43 years and > > together for 50. My father > > > is a good person who loves his children and is logical and > > rational. Having said that, he is > > > a complete enabler and is in total denial about his wife. While > he > > would never do or say > > > the things that she does, he doesn't see her behavior as crazy > > either. I feel bad that he is > > > very distraught over the fact that I have communicated to him I > > won't have anything > > > further to do with my mother, but I can't let her back in my > life > > so that he won't be > > > distraught. That's what I've done in the past. > > > > > > I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not sure if I was supposed to > limit > > the length. This is all so > > > new and the break from my BPD mother is so recent. While I know > she > > is ill and can't > > > control her behavior, I don't know what more I can do other than > > cut myself off since she > > > doesn't think she needs help. Cutting her off may be the wrong > > thing to do for someone > > > with BPD, but do I have any other choices? Part of me hopes that > me > > cutting her off could > > > be her rock bottom and that she will get the help she SO > > desperately needs. Regardless, > > > don't I need to do what is best for me? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _____________________________________________________________________ > _ > > ______________ > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.. > > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? > category=shopping > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 " There is something about personality- disordered people that just loves conspiracy theories. " So true!! In trying to sort out why my stepdad left last week, nada has rattled through about nine different conspiracy theories each time we talk. He's seeing our elderly neighbor (who's happily married and 72), he's screwing up at work because he has dementia and ADHD (he has neither, she just loves labeling people with disorders) and is provoking the drama of a divorce to distract everyone from seeing his incompetence as the real problem, he's never recovered from Vietnam and so on. She's convinced I'm an alcoholic--she hates alcohol and so can't understand why I would choose to drink it a few times a week. Since she's totally emeshed us in her head, anything I do that diverges from her is evil, therefore, alcohol is the threatening influence in this case and I (along with all of our neighbors, my aunts and uncles, grandparents etc.) am an alcoholic. She regularly e-mails me AA meeting listings and when we talk late at night, she'll accuse me of slurring my wordseven though I usually haven't been drinking Ugh! These are just small conspiracies too--she loves the political ones, loves talking about how had killed etc. kylaboo728 wrote: I know what you mean about the thoughts they think must be real. My grandnada had a caregiver who was wonderful (after months of searching!) -- all of her children (my nada being one of them) were relieved that someone was watching over her. My mother ran her off with her questions about what the other family members were saying about her, etc.....Kept at her until the girl finally quit. My mother's take on the whole thing? " She was stealing from Grandma " . My dad nods in agreement. My uncle, who had control of grandnada's finances, assures me that this caregiver wasn't stealing a dime. Something about personality-disordered people that just loves conspiracy theories. > > > > > > Yes, earejay, you absolutely need to do what is best for you. > > Anything else would be enabling nada to mistreat you. Your post > is > > not too long, there is no limit to length here. We just 'talk' > until > > we get it said :-) > > > The abbreviations can all be found on the BPD Central site, best > I > > remember. Or just ask and someone will tell you. > > > Congratulations on choosing a normal life over chaos! Sound > like > > good health and stability to me. Glad you're here! > > > AZClown > > > > > > > > > new to this > > > > > > I found this group from BPD Central. I have so many questions > about > > the group and how it > > > works but I don't know where to look. Are their " rules " to > posting? > > I see a lot of > > > abbreviations used. I'm sure I can figure them out the more I > read, > > but maybe there is a > > > place that lists the commonly used ones for this group. > > > > > > I am convinced my mother is a highly functioning bpd. I am 35 > years > > old and have > > > probably been aware of bpd and the notion that my mother has it > for > > about 4 years. > > > Someone put me onto the book " Understanding the Borderline > Mother " > > at about that time. > > > I've been lucky because I didn't become overly conscious of my > > mother's crazy behavior > > > until I was in my 20's. As a middle child most of her attention > > focused on my older sister > > > (who she has the most volatile relationship with) and younger > > brother (the golden child). I > > > managed to fly under the radar until adulthood. Our > relationship' s > > volatility increased > > > exponentially when I got married. No big surprise there...my > > husband is more important > > > to me than my mother and she is clearly threatened by that. > > > > > > I found BPD Central and this group because of recent events with > my > > mother that have > > > finally caused me to cut myself off from her completely. I'm > tired > > of the drama. I'm tired > > > of the chaos. I'm tired of waiting around wondering when she is > > going to unleash on me > > > next. I'm tired of wondering what act am I going to engage in > that > > she will twist and then > > > become enraged with me. I'm tired of apologizing when I don't > mean > > it because she never > > > sees herself as wrong. I'm tired of everything being that she is > > always right and I am > > > always wrong. I don't think she has ever apologized to me for > > anything. I feel as if I > > > should feel guilty that I can't imagine letting my mother back > into > > my life, but what I really > > > feel is relieved. I consider myself lucky that I don't have BPD. > I > > have a good marriage and > > > two good children. I often wonder how I made it out of my > mother's > > house as unscathed > > > as I have. At 35 I don't wish to continue having her drag me > down > > or create drama in my > > > life that doesn't need to be there. I want to live the " normal " > > life I deserve and that my > > > kids deserve. My parents have been married for 43 years and > > together for 50. My father > > > is a good person who loves his children and is logical and > > rational. Having said that, he is > > > a complete enabler and is in total denial about his wife. While > he > > would never do or say > > > the things that she does, he doesn't see her behavior as crazy > > either. I feel bad that he is > > > very distraught over the fact that I have communicated to him I > > won't have anything > > > further to do with my mother, but I can't let her back in my > life > > so that he won't be > > > distraught. That's what I've done in the past. > > > > > > I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not sure if I was supposed to > limit > > the length. This is all so > > > new and the break from my BPD mother is so recent. While I know > she > > is ill and can't > > > control her behavior, I don't know what more I can do other than > > cut myself off since she > > > doesn't think she needs help. Cutting her off may be the wrong > > thing to do for someone > > > with BPD, but do I have any other choices? Part of me hopes that > me > > cutting her off could > > > be her rock bottom and that she will get the help she SO > > desperately needs. Regardless, > > > don't I need to do what is best for me? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________________ > _ > > ______________ > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.. > > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? > category=shopping > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 Ahem, I have to agree, but it might have something to do about how much they conspire against godknowswho for godknowswhat. Everyone thinks like them, right? Wrong, everyone IS them. Sorry. Has your uncle checked that no-one else was having a free lunch? > Something about personality-disordered people that just loves > conspiracy theories. > Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 My mother hopped from one religion to the next. With her it was either really into drugs or really into religion. I preferred it when she was on drugs. She was almost normal stoned. She did manage to convert (for the umteenth time) to Mormonism and has been with that now for close to 20 years. They keep her busy and that helps me. I have heard rumors recently, however, that she has been asked to " not serve " or " not show " for this function or that function with the Relief Society. Probably because she goes way overboard and drives them nuts. Ask her to bake a cake and she comes with enough food for 200. Wish she could have cooked when I was a kid. I don't have one memory of eating anything my mother didn't pour out of a box, if we got that. Now, it sounds like she's turned into Suzie Homemaker. She also firmly believes in her church's desire that you have a year's worth of food storage. Last I heard, she and her HB's bedframe are 20 gallon buckets full of food and huge bags of grain. She's a cooky woman. Khris > > > > > > > > > > Yes, earejay, you absolutely need to do what is best for > you. > > > > Anything else would be enabling nada to mistreat you. Your > post > > > is > > > > not too long, there is no limit to length here. We > just 'talk' > > > until > > > > we get it said :-) > > > > > The abbreviations can all be found on the BPD Central site, > > best > > > I > > > > remember. Or just ask and someone will tell you. > > > > > Congratulations on choosing a normal life over chaos! Sound > > > like > > > > good health and stability to me. Glad you're here! > > > > > AZClown > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > new to this > > > > > > > > > > I found this group from BPD Central. I have so many > questions > > > about > > > > the group and how it > > > > > works but I don't know where to look. Are their " rules " to > > > posting? > > > > I see a lot of > > > > > abbreviations used. I'm sure I can figure them out the more > I > > > read, > > > > but maybe there is a > > > > > place that lists the commonly used ones for this group. > > > > > > > > > > I am convinced my mother is a highly functioning bpd. I am > 35 > > > years > > > > old and have > > > > > probably been aware of bpd and the notion that my mother has > > it > > > for > > > > about 4 years. > > > > > Someone put me onto the book " Understanding the Borderline > > > Mother " > > > > at about that time. > > > > > I've been lucky because I didn't become overly conscious of > my > > > > mother's crazy behavior > > > > > until I was in my 20's. As a middle child most of her > > attention > > > > focused on my older sister > > > > > (who she has the most volatile relationship with) and > younger > > > > brother (the golden child). I > > > > > managed to fly under the radar until adulthood. Our > > > relationship' s > > > > volatility increased > > > > > exponentially when I got married. No big surprise there...my > > > > husband is more important > > > > > to me than my mother and she is clearly threatened by that. > > > > > > > > > > I found BPD Central and this group because of recent events > > with > > > my > > > > mother that have > > > > > finally caused me to cut myself off from her completely. I'm > > > tired > > > > of the drama. I'm tired > > > > > of the chaos. I'm tired of waiting around wondering when she > > is > > > > going to unleash on me > > > > > next. I'm tired of wondering what act am I going to engage > in > > > that > > > > she will twist and then > > > > > become enraged with me. I'm tired of apologizing when I > don't > > > mean > > > > it because she never > > > > > sees herself as wrong. I'm tired of everything being that > she > > is > > > > always right and I am > > > > > always wrong. I don't think she has ever apologized to me > for > > > > anything. I feel as if I > > > > > should feel guilty that I can't imagine letting my mother > back > > > into > > > > my life, but what I really > > > > > feel is relieved. I consider myself lucky that I don't have > > BPD. > > > I > > > > have a good marriage and > > > > > two good children. I often wonder how I made it out of my > > > mother's > > > > house as unscathed > > > > > as I have. At 35 I don't wish to continue having her drag me > > > down > > > > or create drama in my > > > > > life that doesn't need to be there. I want to live > > the " normal " > > > > life I deserve and that my > > > > > kids deserve. My parents have been married for 43 years and > > > > together for 50. My father > > > > > is a good person who loves his children and is logical and > > > > rational. Having said that, he is > > > > > a complete enabler and is in total denial about his wife. > > While > > > he > > > > would never do or say > > > > > the things that she does, he doesn't see her behavior as > crazy > > > > either. I feel bad that he is > > > > > very distraught over the fact that I have communicated to > him > > I > > > > won't have anything > > > > > further to do with my mother, but I can't let her back in my > > > life > > > > so that he won't be > > > > > distraught. That's what I've done in the past. > > > > > > > > > > I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not sure if I was supposed to > > > limit > > > > the length. This is all so > > > > > new and the break from my BPD mother is so recent. While I > > know > > > she > > > > is ill and can't > > > > > control her behavior, I don't know what more I can do other > > than > > > > cut myself off since she > > > > > doesn't think she needs help. Cutting her off may be the > wrong > > > > thing to do for someone > > > > > with BPD, but do I have any other choices? Part of me hopes > > that > > > me > > > > cutting her off could > > > > > be her rock bottom and that she will get the help she SO > > > > desperately needs. Regardless, > > > > > don't I need to do what is best for me? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _____________________________________________________________________ > > > _ > > > > ______________ > > > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.. > > > > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? > > > category=shopping > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 My mother freaked over Y2K as well.......she kept at me, " whatcha got stored " ??? We didn't prepare for anything......had a huge party instead!!! Her cupboards look like a Y2K gone bad normally. She has freezers full of freezer burnt food that is unrecognizable!!! She goes through fridges right and left and blames the companies for not making them like they used to. A fridge isn't supposed to hold all that crap and be expected to run right. You can't even see the light when the door opens. Pretty sad when your mom gets rejected from her own church!!! That doesn't seem too God like. If we end up in a world that need to prepare for a year with no food......then take me out!!! Although......it might be the diet that finally works!!! drlingirl > > > > > > > > > > > > Yes, earejay, you absolutely need to do what is best for > > you. > > > > > Anything else would be enabling nada to mistreat you. Your > > post > > > > is > > > > > not too long, there is no limit to length here. We > > just 'talk' > > > > until > > > > > we get it said :-) > > > > > > The abbreviations can all be found on the BPD Central site, > > > best > > > > I > > > > > remember. Or just ask and someone will tell you. > > > > > > Congratulations on choosing a normal life over chaos! > Sound > > > > like > > > > > good health and stability to me. Glad you're here! > > > > > > AZClown > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > new to this > > > > > > > > > > > > I found this group from BPD Central. I have so many > > questions > > > > about > > > > > the group and how it > > > > > > works but I don't know where to look. Are their " rules " to > > > > posting? > > > > > I see a lot of > > > > > > abbreviations used. I'm sure I can figure them out the more > > I > > > > read, > > > > > but maybe there is a > > > > > > place that lists the commonly used ones for this group. > > > > > > > > > > > > I am convinced my mother is a highly functioning bpd. I am > > 35 > > > > years > > > > > old and have > > > > > > probably been aware of bpd and the notion that my mother > has > > > it > > > > for > > > > > about 4 years. > > > > > > Someone put me onto the book " Understanding the Borderline > > > > Mother " > > > > > at about that time. > > > > > > I've been lucky because I didn't become overly conscious of > > my > > > > > mother's crazy behavior > > > > > > until I was in my 20's. As a middle child most of her > > > attention > > > > > focused on my older sister > > > > > > (who she has the most volatile relationship with) and > > younger > > > > > brother (the golden child). I > > > > > > managed to fly under the radar until adulthood. Our > > > > relationship' s > > > > > volatility increased > > > > > > exponentially when I got married. No big surprise > there...my > > > > > husband is more important > > > > > > to me than my mother and she is clearly threatened by that. > > > > > > > > > > > > I found BPD Central and this group because of recent events > > > with > > > > my > > > > > mother that have > > > > > > finally caused me to cut myself off from her completely. > I'm > > > > tired > > > > > of the drama. I'm tired > > > > > > of the chaos. I'm tired of waiting around wondering when > she > > > is > > > > > going to unleash on me > > > > > > next. I'm tired of wondering what act am I going to engage > > in > > > > that > > > > > she will twist and then > > > > > > become enraged with me. I'm tired of apologizing when I > > don't > > > > mean > > > > > it because she never > > > > > > sees herself as wrong. I'm tired of everything being that > > she > > > is > > > > > always right and I am > > > > > > always wrong. I don't think she has ever apologized to me > > for > > > > > anything. I feel as if I > > > > > > should feel guilty that I can't imagine letting my mother > > back > > > > into > > > > > my life, but what I really > > > > > > feel is relieved. I consider myself lucky that I don't have > > > BPD. > > > > I > > > > > have a good marriage and > > > > > > two good children. I often wonder how I made it out of my > > > > mother's > > > > > house as unscathed > > > > > > as I have. At 35 I don't wish to continue having her drag > me > > > > down > > > > > or create drama in my > > > > > > life that doesn't need to be there. I want to live > > > the " normal " > > > > > life I deserve and that my > > > > > > kids deserve. My parents have been married for 43 years and > > > > > together for 50. My father > > > > > > is a good person who loves his children and is logical and > > > > > rational. Having said that, he is > > > > > > a complete enabler and is in total denial about his wife. > > > While > > > > he > > > > > would never do or say > > > > > > the things that she does, he doesn't see her behavior as > > crazy > > > > > either. I feel bad that he is > > > > > > very distraught over the fact that I have communicated to > > him > > > I > > > > > won't have anything > > > > > > further to do with my mother, but I can't let her back in > my > > > > life > > > > > so that he won't be > > > > > > distraught. That's what I've done in the past. > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not sure if I was supposed > to > > > > limit > > > > > the length. This is all so > > > > > > new and the break from my BPD mother is so recent. While I > > > know > > > > she > > > > > is ill and can't > > > > > > control her behavior, I don't know what more I can do other > > > than > > > > > cut myself off since she > > > > > > doesn't think she needs help. Cutting her off may be the > > wrong > > > > > thing to do for someone > > > > > > with BPD, but do I have any other choices? Part of me hopes > > > that > > > > me > > > > > cutting her off could > > > > > > be her rock bottom and that she will get the help she SO > > > > > desperately needs. Regardless, > > > > > > don't I need to do what is best for me? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _____________________________________________________________________ > > > > _ > > > > > ______________ > > > > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > > > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.. > > > > > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? > > > > category=shopping > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 Hi earejay Don't know if you got your first question answered yet -- 'why Nada for bpd mother'. It stands for not-a-mother. As for your second question regarding how to stay in contact with your deep-in-denial dad, I'm not sure. For me, it's my fada that I'm LC with. To get to see my mother, I take her shopping and we do 'girl' stuff, or when I see his truck is gone, I stop by for a visit. Other than that, I guess I'm also LC with her. Sorry it's that way - - but she will also try to use me for a shield from him when I'm with both of them --and that is not acceptable to me either. AZClown new to this > > > > I found this group from BPD Central. I have so many questions about > the group and how it > > works but I don't know where to look. Are their " rules " to posting? > I see a lot of > > abbreviations used. I'm sure I can figure them out the more I read, > but maybe there is a > > place that lists the commonly used ones for this group. > > > > I am convinced my mother is a highly functioning bpd. I am 35 years > old and have > > probably been aware of bpd and the notion that my mother has it for > about 4 years. > > Someone put me onto the book " Understanding the Borderline Mother " > at about that time. > > I've been lucky because I didn't become overly conscious of my > mother's crazy behavior > > until I was in my 20's. As a middle child most of her attention > focused on my older sister > > (who she has the most volatile relationship with) and younger > brother (the golden child). I > > managed to fly under the radar until adulthood. Our relationship' s > volatility increased > > exponentially when I got married. No big surprise there...my > husband is more important > > to me than my mother and she is clearly threatened by that. > > > > I found BPD Central and this group because of recent events with my > mother that have > > finally caused me to cut myself off from her completely. I'm tired > of the drama. I'm tired > > of the chaos. I'm tired of waiting around wondering when she is > going to unleash on me > > next. I'm tired of wondering what act am I going to engage in that > she will twist and then > > become enraged with me. I'm tired of apologizing when I don't mean > it because she never > > sees herself as wrong. I'm tired of everything being that she is > always right and I am > > always wrong. I don't think she has ever apologized to me for > anything. I feel as if I > > should feel guilty that I can't imagine letting my mother back into > my life, but what I really > > feel is relieved. I consider myself lucky that I don't have BPD. I > have a good marriage and > > two good children. I often wonder how I made it out of my mother's > house as unscathed > > as I have. At 35 I don't wish to continue having her drag me down > or create drama in my > > life that doesn't need to be there. I want to live the " normal " > life I deserve and that my > > kids deserve. My parents have been married for 43 years and > together for 50. My father > > is a good person who loves his children and is logical and > rational. Having said that, he is > > a complete enabler and is in total denial about his wife. While he > would never do or say > > the things that she does, he doesn't see her behavior as crazy > either. I feel bad that he is > > very distraught over the fact that I have communicated to him I > won't have anything > > further to do with my mother, but I can't let her back in my life > so that he won't be > > distraught. That's what I've done in the past. > > > > I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not sure if I was supposed to limit > the length. This is all so > > new and the break from my BPD mother is so recent. While I know she > is ill and can't > > control her behavior, I don't know what more I can do other than > cut myself off since she > > doesn't think she needs help. Cutting her off may be the wrong > thing to do for someone > > with BPD, but do I have any other choices? Part of me hopes that me > cutting her off could > > be her rock bottom and that she will get the help she SO > desperately needs. Regardless, > > don't I need to do what is best for me? > > > > > > > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ > ____________ __ > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.. > http://tools.. search.yahoo. com/newsearch/ category. php?category= shopping > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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