Re: Best Birthday Ever!

[Guest guest]

What a wonderful post Jae!! It must feel so good to have finally LET GO and it

sounds like you're reaping the benefits...

That's one silver lining of being a KO: sane and caring parents-in-law,

partners, friends seem amazing for just being themselves:)

suessjl wrote:

I just wanted to share this real quick. We celebrated my birthday

this past weekend and I normally dread birthdays. Nada's gift was

always a shopping trip, which meant she would make an issue of my

weight all day. The woman was never satisified that I was not a

manatee, even when I wore a 2! Then, I'd be treated to a nice meal

out, which I couldn't enjoy because by evening I was so self-

conscious about my weight I could only pick at my order. Usually, I

ended up getting raged at for being selfish, arrogant, or ungrateful,

and all the nice things she had just done for me would be brought in

against me. I would have vastly preferred to have no presents, just a

day of peace and quiet.

After I left home and tried to gradually go LC, or NC, Nada would use

my birthday as a way to pull me in. She would say things like " let's

get togethor and spend your birthday the way a family should, no

fighting " and I'd fall for it, hook, line and sinker. After a full

day of rages and misery, I'd go back home upset and exhausted. My

last birthday (I fell for it again, even though I was practically NC)

I got off the plane and cried for nearly six hours.

This year, nothing from nada (yay!) and I spent it with my partner,

an old friend, and my father- and brother-in-law. Everyone brought a

small, thoughtful gift, we had lunch together and I spent the day

surrounded by kind, caring people, with no yelling at all and no

crying. My father-in-law even wrote a card saying I'm such a sweet,

kind girl and he's glad I've joined the family. My brother-in-law

brought a vase of flowers, just because he noticed I buy them on

special occasions. My partner went out of her way to make sure I

barely had to do a thing for myself and she's taking me out for sushi

this week. I felt like a princess. It was, literally, the best

birthday I have ever had in my entire life!!!

I just can't believe how much better life is without Nada and her

drama and rages! This group, books, therapy, and going NC are the

best things I ever did for myself.

Jae

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Ah yes, life IS good without nada's activity. Happy Birthday! I am

glad you had such a wonderful day, and can see how much better life

is when the toxic people are not part of it.

Sylvia

>

> I just wanted to share this real quick. We celebrated my birthday

> this past weekend and I normally dread birthdays. Nada's gift was

> always a shopping trip, which meant she would make an issue of my

> weight all day. The woman was never satisified that I was not a

> manatee, even when I wore a 2! Then, I'd be treated to a nice meal

> out, which I couldn't enjoy because by evening I was so self-

> conscious about my weight I could only pick at my order. Usually,

I

> ended up getting raged at for being selfish, arrogant, or

ungrateful,

> and all the nice things she had just done for me would be brought

in

> against me. I would have vastly preferred to have no presents,

just a

> day of peace and quiet.

>

> After I left home and tried to gradually go LC, or NC, Nada would

use

> my birthday as a way to pull me in. She would say things

like " let's

> get togethor and spend your birthday the way a family should, no

> fighting " and I'd fall for it, hook, line and sinker. After a full

> day of rages and misery, I'd go back home upset and exhausted. My

> last birthday (I fell for it again, even though I was practically

NC)

> I got off the plane and cried for nearly six hours.

>

> This year, nothing from nada (yay!) and I spent it with my

partner,

> an old friend, and my father- and brother-in-law. Everyone brought

a

> small, thoughtful gift, we had lunch together and I spent the day

> surrounded by kind, caring people, with no yelling at all and no

> crying. My father-in-law even wrote a card saying I'm such a

sweet,

> kind girl and he's glad I've joined the family. My brother-in-law

> brought a vase of flowers, just because he noticed I buy them on

> special occasions. My partner went out of her way to make sure I

> barely had to do a thing for myself and she's taking me out for

sushi

> this week. I felt like a princess. It was, literally, the best

> birthday I have ever had in my entire life!!!

>

> I just can't believe how much better life is without Nada and her

> drama and rages! This group, books, therapy, and going NC are the

> best things I ever did for myself.

>

>

> Jae

>

[Guest guest]

Happy belated birthday Jae! I'm glad you spent your birthday celebrating

the way it was meant to be celebrated. I can feel your joy and happiness in

your post and I feel like I am walking on cloud 9 just celebrating your

" princess " status with you. You should feel like a princess on your

birthday...and it warms my heart to know that the safety and love we need

and deserve is out there for you. How sweet of your father-in-law to let

you know how much you mean to the family...and how incredibly nice is it

that your brother-in-law cares about you enough to notice your love of

flowers. That is what a gift is supposed to be...and they obviously are

kind and caring enough to value you the way you should have been valued

until now.

Thank you for sharing this...you have brightened my day. There is hope out

there and together I hope we all find it.

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

> Ah yes, life IS good without nada's activity. Happy Birthday! I am

> glad you had such a wonderful day, and can see how much better life

> is when the toxic people are not part of it.

>

> Sylvia

>

>

> >

> > I just wanted to share this real quick. We celebrated my birthday

> > this past weekend and I normally dread birthdays. Nada's gift was

> > always a shopping trip, which meant she would make an issue of my

> > weight all day. The woman was never satisified that I was not a

> > manatee, even when I wore a 2! Then, I'd be treated to a nice meal

> > out, which I couldn't enjoy because by evening I was so self-

> > conscious about my weight I could only pick at my order. Usually,

> I

> > ended up getting raged at for being selfish, arrogant, or

> ungrateful,

> > and all the nice things she had just done for me would be brought

> in

> > against me. I would have vastly preferred to have no presents,

> just a

> > day of peace and quiet.

> >

> > After I left home and tried to gradually go LC, or NC, Nada would

> use

> > my birthday as a way to pull me in. She would say things

> like " let's

> > get togethor and spend your birthday the way a family should, no

> > fighting " and I'd fall for it, hook, line and sinker. After a full

> > day of rages and misery, I'd go back home upset and exhausted. My

> > last birthday (I fell for it again, even though I was practically

> NC)

> > I got off the plane and cried for nearly six hours.

> >

> > This year, nothing from nada (yay!) and I spent it with my

> partner,

> > an old friend, and my father- and brother-in-law. Everyone brought

> a

> > small, thoughtful gift, we had lunch together and I spent the day

> > surrounded by kind, caring people, with no yelling at all and no

> > crying. My father-in-law even wrote a card saying I'm such a

> sweet,

> > kind girl and he's glad I've joined the family. My brother-in-law

> > brought a vase of flowers, just because he noticed I buy them on

> > special occasions. My partner went out of her way to make sure I

> > barely had to do a thing for myself and she's taking me out for

> sushi

> > this week. I felt like a princess. It was, literally, the best

> > birthday I have ever had in my entire life!!!

> >

> > I just can't believe how much better life is without Nada and her

> > drama and rages! This group, books, therapy, and going NC are the

> > best things I ever did for myself.

> >

> >

> > Jae

> >

>

>

>

--

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

[Guest guest]

Hi Jae,

Good for you for finding a way to have a happy birthday fianlly! I

did a similar thing this year for Christmas. I wanted to celebrate

Christmas with my brother and his wife and my husband and kids,

quietly and happily on Christmas eve. What we did was my brother,

his wife and me and my kids took her out to lunch on Christmas eve

day to the place of her choice and gave her her gifts. Then we

dropped her off and went to my house and proceeded to cook an

excellent dinner and enjoy ourselves. We were able to relax and

have a nice time without her whining because the kids don't want to

watch what she wants on tv or me freaking out and screaming at her

or my kids complaining that grammy aways makes them wait on her. I

think we've found a new tradition! Happy birthday by the way!

>

> I just wanted to share this real quick. We celebrated my birthday

> this past weekend and I normally dread birthdays. Nada's gift was

> always a shopping trip, which meant she would make an issue of my

> weight all day. The woman was never satisified that I was not a

> manatee, even when I wore a 2! Then, I'd be treated to a nice meal

> out, which I couldn't enjoy because by evening I was so self-

> conscious about my weight I could only pick at my order. Usually,

I

> ended up getting raged at for being selfish, arrogant, or

ungrateful,

> and all the nice things she had just done for me would be brought

in

> against me. I would have vastly preferred to have no presents,

just a

> day of peace and quiet.

>

> After I left home and tried to gradually go LC, or NC, Nada would

use

> my birthday as a way to pull me in. She would say things

like " let's

> get togethor and spend your birthday the way a family should, no

> fighting " and I'd fall for it, hook, line and sinker. After a full

> day of rages and misery, I'd go back home upset and exhausted. My

> last birthday (I fell for it again, even though I was practically

NC)

> I got off the plane and cried for nearly six hours.

>

> This year, nothing from nada (yay!) and I spent it with my

partner,

> an old friend, and my father- and brother-in-law. Everyone brought

a

> small, thoughtful gift, we had lunch together and I spent the day

> surrounded by kind, caring people, with no yelling at all and no

> crying. My father-in-law even wrote a card saying I'm such a

sweet,

> kind girl and he's glad I've joined the family. My brother-in-law

> brought a vase of flowers, just because he noticed I buy them on

> special occasions. My partner went out of her way to make sure I

> barely had to do a thing for myself and she's taking me out for

sushi

> this week. I felt like a princess. It was, literally, the best

> birthday I have ever had in my entire life!!!

>

> I just can't believe how much better life is without Nada and her

> drama and rages! This group, books, therapy, and going NC are the

> best things I ever did for myself.

>

>

> Jae

>