Made it through the battle

[Guest guest]

Good Morning everyone,

The dreaded call came yesterday and I just returned it this morning.

It amazes me how she can make me believe that I am the one who is unreasonable.

I knew one of the big issues would be when I found out versus when she found

out. So

wouldn't you know the first question was when did he tell you.

My simple answer, I don't remember, On to the rant, how can you not remember,

was it a

week ago, a month ago etc. I replied with its been a while I just don't

remember exactly

when, so was it a year ago, 2 years ago, MOM I DON'T REMEMBER, why is it so

important

that you know the date? So I dodged the why didn't you tell me bullet but made

my way

into the other land mines

Her response was that she would like to talk to me about it, we are a family and

she would

like to know how I feel about it.

I said well I feel fine about it, I am happy for him whenever he is happy

Since she didn't have the time frame to make it about her, she turned to that

she is not

happy to have a gay son, that she knows the gay community and there are a lot of

devious

people in it and she is worried about him.

So I asked her, what are you worried about, that someone is going to go after

his money?

someone is going to try and hurt him physically.

I was told to shut up, I don't know how to have a conversation... AHHHH

Then she tells me that she is disappointed in him, that she was looking forward

to having

a daugter in law and some grandchildren, and how do I feel about that.

I told her, that I thought the world has changed since she knew her gay friends

in the early

70's and that he can if he wants find a life partner and adopt children.

Now, I may be a little bit of dreamer but I don't see why he can't have that. I

was told that

I should not feel that way that I too should be sad and upset.

I can honestly say I am not sad, I know he is safe, and I know he is happy, I

think that is

pretty darn great. I saw how unhappy he was before he made the realization so

maybe

that is it.

They she started crying, I don't know why I call you with this stuff, you won't

talk with me

about it.

I thought that was what I was doing, but if I don't have her feelings, I am not

talking to

her about it. This is what I said,

Anyway she says I don't know why I try and talk to you, you don't know how to

talk -- I

wish I had the guts to say, its kinda like walking through a mine field you are

afraid to put

your foot down, because you might loose it!

SO she eneded the conversation. I feel like I stayed true to myself.

Thanks everyone I think it helped " preparing for battle " with you guys. I hope

that this

becomes second nature.

L