Re: Re: She's doing something new

[Guest guest]

Yikes. You really need to nip this in the bud. Either leave her stuff on the

counter or present her with the ticket. This is another form of abuse and that

$1 is not going to cover it. Anyone else in the universe would settle up with

you or you could count on to return the favor at some point in time in the

future. NOT HER. Now she is clearly playing games on you.

Be strong honey, you deserve much, much better

Re: She's doing something new

Hmmmm... Nada and me at Trader Joes yesterday... we get up to the

checkstand and she puts her stuff on the counter, " OOps, I left my

money in the car.... " . The she says, " I'm going to go get in the

car and turn the air on " and walks off... I just paid for it with my

stuff.

Now this wouldn't sound " off " to most people but what I know is that

my dad (her ex husband) handed her$60 for " lunch and some groceries "

before she headed out the door (if you've been following me this

week, you know the drama they do). When I got to the car she was

shoving a $1 bill in my purse (NOT what her stuff cost). She kept

the $ he gave her for 'her' and not another word was said.

Hadn't ever considered it a possible manipulation thing... it's just

what she's always done (yes, this is a life-long behavior if I look

backwards... ).

Lynnette

>

> My BPD nada is now doing a new behavior. Over the last year or so,

she

> will want to eat out. She'll say that she'd like to buy you

dinner.

> So, after she picks her restaraunt and her food. We stand at the

> checkout where she discovers that she is short on cash so she must

do

> without part of her meal. In this heroic gesture, she gives up

her

> malt or something. So, that you can still have yours. Then, some

nice

> person nearby will offer her fifty cents. Or, I'll end up buying

the

> meals. Last time, a very sweet young man bought her a burger.

This

> wasn't the outcome that she wanted I guess, because, she was

> embarrassed all through dinner. If I mention to her that she

could

> write out one of her checks, she acts like she is deaf.

>

> I don't mind buying my mother a dinner. If I see it coming. But,

> something about this sounds suspiciously manipulative.

>

> She's done this several times now at the drive up to ARBY's. She

will

> get to the window and " oops, has not remembered her money. " I'm

> wondering if this is part of her new " savings plan " that she

mentioned?

>