Guest guest Posted January 16, 2008 Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 I have always loved this movie! i was always intrigued by it for some reason....i usually don't like movies based on romance, but for some reason I liked this one. Maybe now I know why...because of the evil step mom! What she said at the end of the movie, about how she will forget them but they will think of her every day, that hit home a little bit. althought I think about my NADA all the time even though I'm Nc, I am sure she is more miserable about this than i will ever be. No, this doesn't make me happy, but just points out the terrible truth that when we are unhappy, ONLY WE can do something about it. NADA is miserable and she could change it, but because she leaves that responsibility to everyone else, it won't ever change. > > This may sound weird but i was just watching the movie Ever After > with Drew Barymore and it really helped me realize a lot of things. > Throughout the movie, le (cinderella) is abused by the > stepmother, but le continues to bear it and accept it and go > through life like that. Finally, she gets so fed up she freaks out > and defies the stepmother. Toward the end, the stepmother asks > le what she wants, to which she replies, all she wanted was for > the stepmother to love her. she asks her if there is any tiny part of > her that loves her. The stepmother responds by saying " how could > anyone lovoe a pebble in their shoe " and then sells her to a neighbor > for some material possessions. the ultimate withholding of love. when > danielle becomes queen, she has pity on the stepmother and saves her > from death, but tells her although the stepmother will think about > her every single day for the rest of her life, she will forget her > from that point on and never have to think about her again. and she > goes on to be queen. and she doesn't feel guilt or remorse for the > loss of the realtionship. > > I think the stepmother symbolizes all of our mothers, and danielle > shows our desparate attempts and wants and needs to just be loved by > them. i relize now that my mother is truly incapable of loving me and > is too selfish to care how i feel about that. so i really think i can > let go now. and get her out of my life completely without feeling > bad. i dont need a relationship with her to be complete. or to be > happy. and i dont need to feel bad because she really doesnt care > about my feelings anyway. i am SO HAPPY with this realization. its > like a weight was lifted. i hope the best for her but she doesnt need > to be part of my life. wow i know this is long but im just so happy i > felt like i had to share it with someone who really understood. ill > stay in low contact till my brother and sister are old enough to > contact me and then im done. i dont need to try to have a > relationship with her. anyways i hope this helps some of you who are > struggling with this issue right now. maybe you should rent the movie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2008 Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 I always liked this movie too, that is some great insight. All of it makes sense. The only thing I can add is and where I have trouble separating. is this was a step mother not a biological mother. granted our bio moms are not real moms like the step moms. if I didnt have friends saying to me I have to forgive my nada as she is my mother.. its easier to separate it if not the bio parent, I had an adopted dad who was greatt but because I was older I didnt have the connection and could let him go .. but there is that invisible umbilical cord that somehow haunts me. > > This may sound weird but i was just watching the movie Ever After > with Drew Barymore and it really helped me realize a lot of things. > Throughout the movie, le (cinderella) is abused by the > stepmother, but le continues to bear it and accept it and go > through life like that. Finally, she gets so fed up she freaks out > and defies the stepmother. Toward the end, the stepmother asks > le what she wants, to which she replies, all she wanted was for > the stepmother to love her. she asks her if there is any tiny part of > her that loves her. The stepmother responds by saying " how could > anyone lovoe a pebble in their shoe " and then sells her to a neighbor > for some material possessions. the ultimate withholding of love. when > danielle becomes queen, she has pity on the stepmother and saves her > from death, but tells her although the stepmother will think about > her every single day for the rest of her life, she will forget her > from that point on and never have to think about her again. and she > goes on to be queen. and she doesn't feel guilt or remorse for the > loss of the realtionship. > > I think the stepmother symbolizes all of our mothers, and danielle > shows our desparate attempts and wants and needs to just be loved by > them. i relize now that my mother is truly incapable of loving me and > is too selfish to care how i feel about that. so i really think i can > let go now. and get her out of my life completely without feeling > bad. i dont need a relationship with her to be complete. or to be > happy. and i dont need to feel bad because she really doesnt care > about my feelings anyway. i am SO HAPPY with this realization. its > like a weight was lifted. i hope the best for her but she doesnt need > to be part of my life. wow i know this is long but im just so happy i > felt like i had to share it with someone who really understood. ill > stay in low contact till my brother and sister are old enough to > contact me and then im done. i dont need to try to have a > relationship with her. anyways i hope this helps some of you who are > struggling with this issue right now. maybe you should rent the movie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2008 Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 For what it's worth: I was a a Cinderella junkie at 2 1/2( some 58 years ago). I would make my grandmother reread the story endlessly, even though I had it by heart and read it to her. Long before Disney movie, but a nursery rendition of the fairy story. Totally identified, even though( or probably because) Nada made my father disappear. And was unbelievably hateful. This was my only validation for 30 years and then the Cinderella Complex became a negative thing. It was my secret validation. And I love Ever After, for providing a credible person to identify with and a much better ending! I kind of envy you young people who have a legitimized model to work from and do better with your lives( NC rocks!); I just identified with Cinderella which noone would have believed. And was over the top true. wrote: I always liked this movie too, that is some great insight. All of it makes sense. The only thing I can add is and where I have trouble separating. is this was a step mother not a biological mother. granted our bio moms are not real moms like the step moms. if I didnt have friends saying to me I have to forgive my nada as she is my mother.. its easier to separate it if not the bio parent, I had an adopted dad who was greatt but because I was older I didnt have the connection and could let him go .. but there is that invisible umbilical cord that somehow haunts me. > > This may sound weird but i was just watching the movie Ever After > with Drew Barymore and it really helped me realize a lot of things. > Throughout the movie, le (cinderella) is abused by the > stepmother, but le continues to bear it and accept it and go > through life like that. Finally, she gets so fed up she freaks out > and defies the stepmother. Toward the end, the stepmother asks > le what she wants, to which she replies, all she wanted was for > the stepmother to love her. she asks her if there is any tiny part of > her that loves her. The stepmother responds by saying " how could > anyone lovoe a pebble in their shoe " and then sells her to a neighbor > for some material possessions. the ultimate withholding of love. when > danielle becomes queen, she has pity on the stepmother and saves her > from death, but tells her although the stepmother will think about > her every single day for the rest of her life, she will forget her > from that point on and never have to think about her again. and she > goes on to be queen. and she doesn't feel guilt or remorse for the > loss of the realtionship. > > I think the stepmother symbolizes all of our mothers, and danielle > shows our desparate attempts and wants and needs to just be loved by > them. i relize now that my mother is truly incapable of loving me and > is too selfish to care how i feel about that. so i really think i can > let go now. and get her out of my life completely without feeling > bad. i dont need a relationship with her to be complete. or to be > happy. and i dont need to feel bad because she really doesnt care > about my feelings anyway. i am SO HAPPY with this realization. its > like a weight was lifted. i hope the best for her but she doesnt need > to be part of my life. wow i know this is long but im just so happy i > felt like i had to share it with someone who really understood. ill > stay in low contact till my brother and sister are old enough to > contact me and then im done. i dont need to try to have a > relationship with her. anyways i hope this helps some of you who are > struggling with this issue right now. maybe you should rent the movie > --------------------------------- Be smarter than spam. See how smart SpamGuard is at giving junk email the boot with the All-new Yahoo! Mail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2008 Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 This is for you dark humored people out there like me...nada asked me what I wanted for my birthday....I told her that I wanted this dvd, the wizard of oz and the son album that has the song " Because of you " on it because I could really identify with the song.(If you aren't familiar with the song, google search the lyrics...uncanny how hard it hits home) I'm counting down the moments until I open my birthday present tomorrow...it's going to be priceless. Oh please, please, please....I hope someone at my birthday party PLEASE asks be about why I like these movies!!! In true nada fashion (and falling right in there with the theme of the movie) nada has insisted that my party be held at the restaurant where my daughter works...so that she can wait on us and nada won't have to leave a tip. Yet she has accused me all of my life about treating my daughter " like a slave " ....all over a small chores list that once adorned our refrigerator. A chores list that was compiled WITH my children that THEY requested order to have cell phones. They were about 8 and 10 at the time, and earning money that they could spend was very liberating to them....plus it validated all of the things they did around the house....the exact OPPOSITE of how I was treated. This is a great movie...a must see for any KO. > For what it's worth: > > I was a a Cinderella junkie at 2 1/2( some 58 years ago). I would make my > grandmother reread the story endlessly, even though I had it by heart and > read it to her. Long before Disney movie, but a nursery rendition of the > fairy story. Totally identified, even though( or probably because) Nada made > my father disappear. And was unbelievably hateful. This was my only > validation for 30 years and then the Cinderella Complex became a negative > thing. It was my secret validation. > > And I love Ever After, for providing a credible person to identify with > and a much better ending! > > I kind of envy you young people who have a legitimized model to work from > and do better with your lives( NC rocks!); I just identified with Cinderella > which noone would have believed. And was over the top true. > > <femspirit@... <femspirit%40aol.com>> wrote: I always liked > this movie too, that is some great insight. All of it > > makes sense. The only thing I can add is and where I have trouble > separating. is this was a step mother not a biological mother. granted > our bio moms are not real moms like the step moms. if I didnt have > friends saying to me I have to forgive my nada as she is my mother.. > its easier to separate it if not the bio parent, I had an adopted dad > who was greatt but because I was older I didnt have the connection and > could let him go .. but there is that invisible umbilical cord that > somehow haunts me. > > > > > > > This may sound weird but i was just watching the movie Ever After > > with Drew Barymore and it really helped me realize a lot of things. > > Throughout the movie, le (cinderella) is abused by the > > stepmother, but le continues to bear it and accept it and go > > through life like that. Finally, she gets so fed up she freaks out > > and defies the stepmother. Toward the end, the stepmother asks > > le what she wants, to which she replies, all she wanted was for > > the stepmother to love her. she asks her if there is any tiny part of > > her that loves her. The stepmother responds by saying " how could > > anyone lovoe a pebble in their shoe " and then sells her to a neighbor > > for some material possessions. the ultimate withholding of love. when > > danielle becomes queen, she has pity on the stepmother and saves her > > from death, but tells her although the stepmother will think about > > her every single day for the rest of her life, she will forget her > > from that point on and never have to think about her again. and she > > goes on to be queen. and she doesn't feel guilt or remorse for the > > loss of the realtionship. > > > > I think the stepmother symbolizes all of our mothers, and danielle > > shows our desparate attempts and wants and needs to just be loved by > > them. i relize now that my mother is truly incapable of loving me and > > is too selfish to care how i feel about that. so i really think i can > > let go now. and get her out of my life completely without feeling > > bad. i dont need a relationship with her to be complete. or to be > > happy. and i dont need to feel bad because she really doesnt care > > about my feelings anyway. i am SO HAPPY with this realization. its > > like a weight was lifted. i hope the best for her but she doesnt need > > to be part of my life. wow i know this is long but im just so happy i > > felt like i had to share it with someone who really understood. ill > > stay in low contact till my brother and sister are old enough to > > contact me and then im done. i dont need to try to have a > > relationship with her. anyways i hope this helps some of you who are > > struggling with this issue right now. maybe you should rent the movie > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Be smarter than spam. See how smart SpamGuard is at giving junk email the > boot with the All-new Yahoo! Mail > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2008 Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 Tell your poor daughter not to worry, a well aimed tray with glass of red wine and/or ice water spilt all over her should work wonders ;-). Make sure your mummy dearest is wearing white. When I was 'doing hospitality' I'm lucky I never had the opportunity to serve Yeti a drink or two. > In true nada > fashion (and falling right in there with the theme of the movie) nada > has > insisted that my party be held at the restaurant where my daughter > works...so that she can wait on us and nada won't have to leave a > tip. Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2008 Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 " nada has insisted that my party be held at the restaurant where my daughter works...so that she can wait on us and nada won't have to leave a tip. " Wow -- some grandparents would insist on going to granddaughter's restaurant so that they could leave a BIG tip. Interesting how your mother thinks that taking your daughter's time and effort (that could be expended on tipping customers) at her job, and not tipping for it is her entitlement. Did your nada actually say this? Or does her past behavior tell the tale? -Kyla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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