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TIMELINE CLARIFICATION:

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I stopped posting on this board (plain old exhausted) following a

HUGE Nada occurance beginning/mid May where Nada came to stay at her

2nd exhusbands house (my step dad's place) 4 miles from my house.

She was there for 15 days (was supposed to be 4). That was

following a previous 10 day stay (and accompanying blow up) in

April. She's been doing this for years but lately it's just gotten

MUCH worse.

Nada's been " back " since Tuesday... leaving next Tuesday. Same

drama but I'm MIRACULOUSLY (know it's therapy working) disengaged...

now the " tales from the front " don't hit me anymore... I'm through

the 'feeling' part of all this...

Her 'spiral' that I referred to has been via phone (with message

updates almost on the hour - notice I didn't say I actually take

these calls nor do I listen to 99% of the messages)...

Hope this helps clarify my orinigal post.

Dreamin' for a " HappyRock " moment...

Lynnette

>

> Hi all... I'm back after taking a " leave " ...

>

> After being gone from here for a bit (following Nada's last 15 day

> trip 'to town' that sent me over the water-fall of emotional

> implosion) I've decided to poke my head up out of the cliff to

share...

>

> Nada is spiraling. Last Thur's therapy session was about her

behavior

> (manic highs/ suicidal lows - all within hours of eachother) and

my

> FREEDOM FROM GUILT over being able to fix it. A-men to that...

the

> guilts are gone!!! However, I'm afraid she's going to kill

herself.

> Afraid isn't really the right word... Therapist asked, " what would

it

> look like if your mom actually did it? " My response, " well, I

think

> I'd be sad but I could rest... she's been miserable most of her

life

> and I really want her to be at peace... maybe suicide will do

that...

> and if she, as the Buddists believe, comes back - maybe as a rock -

> maybe she'd be a really HAPPY rock... " . Took me almost 40 years

to

> get " there " ...

>

>

> I love her and always will but I'm not able to fix her life for

her.

> I'm not able to fix her perceptions of her " ruined " life for her.

She

> has to do it... or not. It's her choice.

>

> When I'm feeling less " something " , I'll share the latest

of " nutty "

> behavior... it involves the Buddists, two gay Dr's in N.Cal.,

identity

> theft, a music festival, a " supposed therapist that wasn't " who is

> offering her " back door access " to a university (????) and a

garage

> sale... (when I explained this to MY therapist she sat back,

closed

> her eyes, pressed her temples to her head and said, " geez... even

I'm

> worn out just hearing this.... " .

>

> Party on.

>

> Lynnette

>

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Hey, Chick good to hear from you. Just more instanity from the trenches. Hang in

there.

TIMELINE CLARIFICATION:

I stopped posting on this board (plain old exhausted) following a

HUGE Nada occurance beginning/mid May where Nada came to stay at her

2nd exhusbands house (my step dad's place) 4 miles from my house.

She was there for 15 days (was supposed to be 4). That was

following a previous 10 day stay (and accompanying blow up) in

April. She's been doing this for years but lately it's just gotten

MUCH worse.

Nada's been " back " since Tuesday... leaving next Tuesday. Same

drama but I'm MIRACULOUSLY (know it's therapy working) disengaged.. .

now the " tales from the front " don't hit me anymore... I'm through

the 'feeling' part of all this...

Her 'spiral' that I referred to has been via phone (with message

updates almost on the hour - notice I didn't say I actually take

these calls nor do I listen to 99% of the messages)...

Hope this helps clarify my orinigal post.

Dreamin' for a " HappyRock " moment...

Lynnette

>

> Hi all... I'm back after taking a " leave " ...

>

> After being gone from here for a bit (following Nada's last 15 day

> trip 'to town' that sent me over the water-fall of emotional

> implosion) I've decided to poke my head up out of the cliff to

share...

>

> Nada is spiraling. Last Thur's therapy session was about her

behavior

> (manic highs/ suicidal lows - all within hours of eachother) and

my

> FREEDOM FROM GUILT over being able to fix it. A-men to that...

the

> guilts are gone!!! However, I'm afraid she's going to kill

herself.

> Afraid isn't really the right word... Therapist asked, " what would

it

> look like if your mom actually did it? " My response, " well, I

think

> I'd be sad but I could rest... she's been miserable most of her

life

> and I really want her to be at peace... maybe suicide will do

that...

> and if she, as the Buddists believe, comes back - maybe as a rock -

> maybe she'd be a really HAPPY rock... " . Took me almost 40 years

to

> get " there " ...

>

>

> I love her and always will but I'm not able to fix her life for

her.

> I'm not able to fix her perceptions of her " ruined " life for her.

She

> has to do it... or not. It's her choice.

>

> When I'm feeling less " something " , I'll share the latest

of " nutty "

> behavior.... it involves the Buddists, two gay Dr's in N.Cal.,

identity

> theft, a music festival, a " supposed therapist that wasn't " who is

> offering her " back door access " to a university (????) and a

garage

> sale.... (when I explained this to MY therapist she sat back,

closed

> her eyes, pressed her temples to her head and said, " geez... even

I'm

> worn out just hearing this.... " .

>

> Party on.

>

> Lynnette

>

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