Re: Just discovered recently that my mother has BPD

[Guest guest]

the thing that is helping me the most right now is reading " Surviving

the Borderline Parent " by Kimberlee Roth and Freda B. Friedman

>

> Hello,

>

> I am new to this group, and am delighted to find out that there are

other

> people in this world that have to do deal with a BP " nada " .

> I am over joyed to have discovered this group, as well am feeling a

sense of

> relief having discovered what is wrong with my mother, after

basically 25

> years of a terribly rocky and painful relationship with her,

observing her

> fight with mostly everyone person she came into contact with,

including

> friends, ALL family members, work mates, etc, after being told my

whole that

> I was the one with the problem -yet having positive relationships

with

> everyone around me, and dealing with the confusion of being very

young and

> not knowing anything about this disorder, yet realizing there was

an obvious

> discrepancy in what my nada says vs.my reality.

>

> Can anybody recommend a good starting point for a person (like me)

who has

> just discovered that their parent has BPD?

> Perhaps understanding how to set healthy boundaries, understanding

the

> disorder in greater details, or whatever else that has helped

others to

> understand, accept and let go of this nasty and devasting disorder?

>

> Also, I would love to share stories with anyone about experiences

that

> they've encountered with their BPD parent, for some reason it helps

me to

> hear other stories (I guess I don't feel as alone, and like I am

the only

> one).

>

> Hope everyone has a happy new year!

>

> Best,

>

> Blonde Fishy

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Blonde FIshy --

Re: Surviving the Borderline Parent -- That's a GREAT book -- and

not too long, either. It will give you the essentials you need to

start protecting and building your own life. It has great exercises

that help you really explore how mired your thinking has become by

being raised by a Borderline.

For deeper diving into the subject in general, " Understanding the

Borderline Mother " is a fantastic resource.

Also " Stop Walking on Eggshells " -- has a workbook, too.

" I hate you, don't leave me " is a good one at explaining BPD.

Also, one of the best I've read about separating from your family of

origin (FOO) is " Leaving Home " by Celani.

Also, many posters on this board really highly

recommend " Boundaries " by Henry Cloud.

All of these books are in paperback, and most are not that

expensive -- considering it could change the course of your life for

the better, it's a tiny investment with huge returns!

I found most of mine on Amazon --

Welcome!

-Kyla

[Guest guest]

>Hi Leah,

I am in a similar situation myself. I have been trying to figure out for years

what is the

matter with my mother who has been in and out of treatment (some residential) my

entire

life. When I stumbled across the dsm form for BPD on the MAYO Clinic website

and Nihm

Website I felt relief! I realised that perhaps mixed in with a bit of bipolar

disorder and

perhaps some anxiety disorders my mother displays all 9 of the criterion on the

DSM. I know

that I cannot diagnose my mother from the internet but after reading the

experiences of

others on different support sites I know that even if the official diagnosis

isn't bpd I share

and have shared similar (sometimes exactly the same) experiences as others on

these

message boards and the comfort that brings is paramount. I would be happy to

share stories

and find out coping strategies.

Take care,