Re: Feelings

[Guest guest]

Carla --

I'm glad you posted that -- I liked your description " waterworks or

silent treatment " .

Like your nada trying to get sympathy after a death, my nada is

currently trying to extract attention for the recent death of her 90

year old mother. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one

watching this scenario play out.

-Kyla

[Guest guest]

Surprisingly, I think you can let out a lot of sadness with laughter.

It lances a lot of wounds, and opens doors to let a lot of that

clotted old pain out finally. Good luck to you in your healing this

year!

Peace,

Violetta

> >

> > Yes! Exactly! You are not alone. Early on in my therapy, my therapist

> > asked me when the last time I cried was. I was sobbing at the time. I

> > couldn't answer her, because I have been stifiling my tears since I

> > can remember. She actually recommended making myself cry every now

> > and then to get the stress out, but I have never been able to make

> > that happen. Over time I am beter about crying when I feel it.

> > Saying I love you is my sticky one. I can say it to my hubby and

> > kids and that's about it!

> >

> > Cheryl

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I laugh all the time. My fada told me once I use to laugh when he

spanked me even when young. And would piss him off more. I think I

have a nervous laugh. When I first went to my Therapist years ago I

would laugh whenever I was nervous to talk about something I have

learned to curb it a bit but still do it. I used to be asked why I

laugh so much. From what I understand laughing releases something in

your body that helps with pain so I guess I was naturally smart

ahahaha. I even laughed when I heard my grandpa died when I was 18 and

thought that weird. I loved him alot so there was no reason for that

except nerves or pain.

> > >

> > > Yes! Exactly! You are not alone. Early on in my therapy, my

therapist

> > > asked me when the last time I cried was. I was sobbing at the

time. I

> > > couldn't answer her, because I have been stifiling my tears since I

> > > can remember. She actually recommended making myself cry every now

> > > and then to get the stress out, but I have never been able to make

> > > that happen. Over time I am beter about crying when I feel it.

> > > Saying I love you is my sticky one. I can say it to my hubby and

> > > kids and that's about it!

> > >

> > > Cheryl

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

You know -- this is sooooooooo none of my business, but maybe you

could drop a note to the family that you were a gradeschool friend

of 's and that it was so touching to see that his nephew looks

just like your long lost friend.

Don't know how that would go over -- maybe you could write a note

and then never send it....

Probably do more harm than good -- but I remember hearing from my

sister in law, when she lost her son, that her greatest fear was

that people would forget about him.

-Kyla

>

> Kyla,

>

> It does sometimes haunt me. The reason being I think that I and

one of my classmates would

> have had considerably different lives had he not died.

>

> , Mark and were the only three kids that would play

with me. I had only been

> attending that school for two years. I transfered between 1st and

2nd grade. for some reason

> I was excluded from playing with the girls. (Never did figure that

one out). That summer

> moved away and died. Mark never spoke to me again.

I think he just had to cut

> himself off from all of it to deal.

>

> Interesting side note. One of 's brothers has a son that is

the spitting image of . He

> is about 18 or 19 years old. I saw his picture in the paper last

summer. Still feel my heart

> squeeze in my chest. Painful and bittersweet.

>

> xoxo Carla

>