Best Birthday Ever!

[Guest guest]

I just wanted to share this real quick. We celebrated my birthday

this past weekend and I normally dread birthdays. Nada's gift was

always a shopping trip, which meant she would make an issue of my

weight all day. The woman was never satisified that I was not a

manatee, even when I wore a 2! Then, I'd be treated to a nice meal

out, which I couldn't enjoy because by evening I was so self-

conscious about my weight I could only pick at my order. Usually, I

ended up getting raged at for being selfish, arrogant, or ungrateful,

and all the nice things she had just done for me would be brought in

against me. I would have vastly preferred to have no presents, just a

day of peace and quiet.

After I left home and tried to gradually go LC, or NC, Nada would use

my birthday as a way to pull me in. She would say things like " let's

get togethor and spend your birthday the way a family should, no

fighting " and I'd fall for it, hook, line and sinker. After a full

day of rages and misery, I'd go back home upset and exhausted. My

last birthday (I fell for it again, even though I was practically NC)

I got off the plane and cried for nearly six hours.

This year, nothing from nada (yay!) and I spent it with my partner,

an old friend, and my father- and brother-in-law. Everyone brought a

small, thoughtful gift, we had lunch together and I spent the day

surrounded by kind, caring people, with no yelling at all and no

crying. My father-in-law even wrote a card saying I'm such a sweet,

kind girl and he's glad I've joined the family. My brother-in-law

brought a vase of flowers, just because he noticed I buy them on

special occasions. My partner went out of her way to make sure I

barely had to do a thing for myself and she's taking me out for sushi

this week. I felt like a princess. It was, literally, the best

birthday I have ever had in my entire life!!!

I just can't believe how much better life is without Nada and her

drama and rages! This group, books, therapy, and going NC are the

best things I ever did for myself.

Jae