Re: Physical Pain Landed me in the E.R. Yesterday.

[Guest guest]

Dear Mia,

If I were there with you, I would give you a hug and tell you

everything is alright!

I would definitely suggest staying away from your NADA forever. Cut

the ties. This whole thing with accusing you of stealing and calling

the cops on you would have more than drawn the line for me.

With your physical state being the way it is, is this all worth

having a relationship with her? I don't think so.

It is time to start thinking about yourself a little here, and your

own family. your kids. your husband. as for your husband giving you

the silent treatment....does he usually do this when you are

emotionally distressed? maybe he is scared too, seeing you like this?

I would try to calm down, collect your thoughts, and talk to him. You

need him right now, and he is your husband, he should be here for

you.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Are you seeing a therapist?

If not, I think you really should start..panic attacks aren't good

and it sounds like you had a really bad one. therapy can prevent

them from happening again.

but your mom is so not worth it. she isn't worth your physical health

and strain it puts on your own family. just my humble opinion. I hope

you get better soon. i really feel for you.

~Sara Jo

>

> Not sure if anyone read my post the other day about what my Nada

tried to pull on me with stealing and calling the police on me, I

think its posted in the 5 Stages of Grief Section.

>

> Anyway, after my Nada lied and tried to get me arrested over that.

The truth came out and she felt stupid for accusing me of that, well

it was still eating me up alive inside. I just couldn't comprehend

how my own mother would start such evil lies and have me arrested

wrongfully: and not even care about what could have happened to my

young children if the cops didn't believe the truth? where would my 2

yr old and my 5 yr old been taken to? I think about it over and over,

until I finally got physically ill yesterday, I had sharp pains all

over my body, sharp pains in my heart, dizziness, shaking, tight

chest pain over my heart area and I was so scared and panicking,

thinking that I may be suffering from a mild heart attack. so I ran

to the ER in tears told them I felt like I was dying, they rushed me

on a gurney bed, by that time I was hyperventilating, and all body

parts were going numb. After an IV with Ativan, and a few other

tests, they told me I was suffering from an Anxiety/Panic attack and

sent me home. this all stemmed from the evil shit my mom did the

other day, I have had NC with her ever since that day, but my heart

is still pounding out of my chest , my hands are shaking bad, and I

can't get out of bed. I am emailing this from my cell phone in bed.

hubby doesn't understand and hasn't said one word to me since I got

back from the ER yesterday, and his silent treatment is making my

condition much worse. I am a huge mess right now all I want to do is

cry. I really want to go back to the ER today, but the staff was

laughing at me because I kept yelling out that I was scared, and they

kept telling me to calm down. they didn't believe how terrified I

really was, my blood pressure was thru the roof, and I always have

low blood pressure. The ER staff were really mean, and of no real

help to me at all. I don't know what to do.

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Mia,

Hang in there, girl! You're not alone! I have been in a panic-filled

state due to lies and manipulation by my nada too. Also by other BPD

family members. What happens to me is that, even after time passes

after an event, I can't shut off my repetitive thoughts. Sometimes,

my anxiety is far WORSE weeks or months after an event than it was

at the time! This is because panic feeds on itself ... it doesn't

pass away unless you take control of it.

Right now, I want to tell you that you are well on your way to

taking control of your anxiety and your life. You have NC with your

nada, which means she will not be able to interfere in your life or

accuse you of anything (she won't have any information!). You can

refuse calls, e-mails, and visits, and create a private, safe zone

for yourself. She's moved away, so you and your kids don't have to

fear seeing her around your neighborhood, thankfully. NC is

protecting yourself and your kids from anything your nada can do.

This is very significant! You might want to re-establish contact

with your nada someday, or maybe not!, but you can be sure that you

are able to protect yourself and your family from her as long as you

choose to. There are lots of us on this board who are " skilled " at

maintaining contact boundaries with our BPD mothers, and we'll be

here to support you.

As for your husband, or anyone else that is responding in what feels

like an unsupportive way, I have learned this: People who didn't

grow up the way we did can often be sympathetic to the facts of a

situation - for example, sympathetic that you were unfairly accused

of stealing. They are good people who care about us, and they feel

sympathetic that we were treated badly. BUT: they often can't

understand the extent of the emotional response we have. When you

have been truly traumatized (abused!) in the past, new events re-

traumatize you. They trigger your fears from throughout your life!

So, if you're anything like me, you may still be experiencing

that " emergency " state of panic. What I do to neutralize it is: I do

something " normal " like go to the park or out to a light-hearted

movie. I might call an " acquaintance " (friend who doesn't know

anything about my family situation) and ask if she wants to go

shopping and just chit-chat about everyday things, or listen to her

chat about her life. Basically, I put myself in a situation where no

one knows anything about what's been happening with me, and they

will just treat me " normally. " This in turn helps me to

ACT " normally. " Acting normally, even when I don't feel normal, is

the best way for me to start dialing down this kind of deep and

lasting anxiety.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that extreme panic and anxiety is

truly terrible, but a lot of us here know what it's like. It WILL

pass!

Hugs,

April

>

> Not sure if anyone read my post the other day about what my Nada

tried to pull on me with stealing and calling the police on me, I

think its posted in the 5 Stages of Grief Section.

>

> Anyway, after my Nada lied and tried to get me arrested over

that. The truth came out and she felt stupid for accusing me of

that, well it was still eating me up alive inside. I just couldn't

comprehend how my own mother would start such evil lies and have me

arrested wrongfully: and not even care about what could have

happened to my young children if the cops didn't believe the truth?

where would my 2 yr old and my 5 yr old been taken to? I think about

it over and over, until I finally got physically ill yesterday, I

had sharp pains all over my body, sharp pains in my heart,

dizziness, shaking, tight chest pain over my heart area and I was

so scared and panicking, thinking that I may be suffering from a

mild heart attack. so I ran to the ER in tears told them I felt like

I was dying, they rushed me on a gurney bed, by that time I was

hyperventilating, and all body parts were going numb. After an IV

with Ativan, and a few other tests, they told me I was suffering

from an Anxiety/Panic attack and sent me home. this all stemmed from

the evil shit my mom did the other day, I have had NC with her ever

since that day, but my heart is still pounding out of my chest , my

hands are shaking bad, and I can't get out of bed. I am emailing

this from my cell phone in bed. hubby doesn't understand and hasn't

said one word to me since I got back from the ER yesterday, and his

silent treatment is making my condition much worse. I am a huge mess

right now all I want to do is cry. I really want to go back to the

ER today, but the staff was laughing at me because I kept yelling

out that I was scared, and they kept telling me to calm down. they

didn't believe how terrified I really was, my blood pressure was

thru the roof, and I always have low blood pressure. The ER staff

were really mean, and of no real help to me at all. I don't know

what to do.

>

[Guest guest]

Mia,

Sara Jo has given you very good advice. What your nada did would be

a deal breaker in my book. You said she felt stupid afterwards?

She should have felt deeply, deeply ashamed of herself. (Feeling

stupid still puts the focus on her, not on how she has hurt you.)

Also, when you are up to it, find out why your husband gives you the

silent treatment. You need his support now, so I hope the two of

you can work that out.

As Sara Jo said, see a therapist who can help you with the anxiety

attacks. My daughter has those, and therapy was very helpful for

her management of the anxiety.

Take care,

Sylvia

> >

> > Not sure if anyone read my post the other day about what my Nada

> tried to pull on me with stealing and calling the police on me, I

> think its posted in the 5 Stages of Grief Section.

> >

> > Anyway, after my Nada lied and tried to get me arrested over

that.

> The truth came out and she felt stupid for accusing me of that,

well

> it was still eating me up alive inside. I just couldn't comprehend

> how my own mother would start such evil lies and have me arrested

> wrongfully: and not even care about what could have happened to my

> young children if the cops didn't believe the truth? where would

my 2

> yr old and my 5 yr old been taken to? I think about it over and

over,

> until I finally got physically ill yesterday, I had sharp pains

all

> over my body, sharp pains in my heart, dizziness, shaking, tight

> chest pain over my heart area and I was so scared and panicking,

> thinking that I may be suffering from a mild heart attack. so I

ran

> to the ER in tears told them I felt like I was dying, they rushed

me

> on a gurney bed, by that time I was hyperventilating, and all body

> parts were going numb. After an IV with Ativan, and a few other

> tests, they told me I was suffering from an Anxiety/Panic attack

and

> sent me home. this all stemmed from the evil shit my mom did the

> other day, I have had NC with her ever since that day, but my

heart

> is still pounding out of my chest , my hands are shaking bad, and

I

> can't get out of bed. I am emailing this from my cell phone in

bed.

> hubby doesn't understand and hasn't said one word to me since I

got

> back from the ER yesterday, and his silent treatment is making my

> condition much worse. I am a huge mess right now all I want to do

is

> cry. I really want to go back to the ER today, but the staff was

> laughing at me because I kept yelling out that I was scared, and

they

> kept telling me to calm down. they didn't believe how terrified I

> really was, my blood pressure was thru the roof, and I always have

> low blood pressure. The ER staff were really mean, and of no real

> help to me at all. I don't know what to do.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Mia,

So sorry your going through that. It might be helpful for you to read

up on panic attacks and how to self sooth. Things like a hot bubble

bath, soothing music, hug an animal. One good thing is to have a

notebook and write down all your feelings no matter what they are. but

have it for just you. helps get them out of you. Deep breathing also

will help, You may want to go to your doctor tomorrow and see if you

can get a prescription for xanax. Its addictive so not something you

should take daily but it works miracles for panic attacks when needed

I dont use it now but once every few months , or if particularly hard

time, I like it better then ativan, ativan makes me feel tired for too

long a period of time, xanax just takes away the panic feelings. it

works in like 20 minutes .. I have timed it ahahaha..Im also on

zoloft have been for 7 years.. which has helped with my panic attacks

as well rarely have them. I know you dont feel like getting out of bed

but forcing yourself to get up and do things is the best thing for you

to help distract your mind. Go for a fast walk to help get some of

that energy out too. Staying in bed will most likely make things worse.

Hope things get better

>

> Not sure if anyone read my post the other day about what my Nada

tried to pull on me with stealing and calling the police on me, I

think its posted in the 5 Stages of Grief Section.

>

> Anyway, after my Nada lied and tried to get me arrested over that.

The truth came out and she felt stupid for accusing me of that, well

it was still eating me up alive inside. I just couldn't comprehend how

my own mother would start such evil lies and have me arrested

wrongfully: and not even care about what could have happened to my

young children if the cops didn't believe the truth? where would my 2

yr old and my 5 yr old been taken to? I think about it over and over,

until I finally got physically ill yesterday, I had sharp pains all

over my body, sharp pains in my heart, dizziness, shaking, tight chest

pain over my heart area and I was so scared and panicking, thinking

that I may be suffering from a mild heart attack. so I ran to the ER

in tears told them I felt like I was dying, they rushed me on a gurney

bed, by that time I was hyperventilating, and all body parts were

going numb. After an IV with Ativan, and a few other tests, they told

me I was suffering from an Anxiety/Panic attack and sent me home. this

all stemmed from the evil shit my mom did the other day, I have had NC

with her ever since that day, but my heart is still pounding out of my

chest , my hands are shaking bad, and I can't get out of bed. I am

emailing this from my cell phone in bed. hubby doesn't understand and

hasn't said one word to me since I got back from the ER yesterday, and

his silent treatment is making my condition much worse. I am a huge

mess right now all I want to do is cry. I really want to go back to

the ER today, but the staff was laughing at me because I kept yelling

out that I was scared, and they kept telling me to calm down. they

didn't believe how terrified I really was, my blood pressure was thru

the roof, and I always have low blood pressure. The ER staff were

really mean, and of no real help to me at all. I don't know what to do.

>

[Guest guest]

Mia.,

I am so sorry you had to go through that. I just want to make sure the hospital

checked to

make sure it wasn't completely emotional. Did they run any blood work? Do any

tests?

Was this an isolated incident or have you felt anxious in the past.

The reason I ask is I started having panic attacks, and all my doctors assumed

it was

because of my dealings in Nada. They gave me Xanax and Zoloft and recommended

therapy, which I was already in.

Well 8 months later, it hadn't gotten any better, and I was about to ship myself

off to

Arizona for some intensive in patient treatment for anxiety, my dr took a look

at me, all

the symptoms I had been telling him for 8 months finally made sense, and he ran

some

blood work, I was extremely hyper thyroid. hormone levels 300x normal.

The only reason I bring this up, is your post really brought me back to what I

was feeling

through out those 8 months. Everyone around me was telling me just to get up

and not let

my mother bother me, and I did, I went to work, went on with my life and every

couple of

weeks, I would have a episode.

If they would have caught it during the first or second horrendous panic attack,

my

recovery wouldn't have been so freakin hard, I am still struggling to get my

hormones

back on track.

So in addition to talking to a therapist, you may want to take a trip to your

primary care

doctor and insist that they run tests for anything that may cause anxiety, it is

amazing

how many medical conditions, if unrecognized can cause panic attacks, and from

how I

understand the mind body connection, they tend to get worse during times of

stress!

I hope you are feeling better.

L

[Guest guest]

Hello, actually 2 days before I ended up in the ER, I had the same

issue, but I didn't want to make such a big deal about it, going to

the ER, so I just went to my family doctor. They did some tests, EKG

and blood to check for hypo thyroid - I certainly hope that that test

can also detect hyper thyroid as well ???

Anyway, while in the hospital yesterday, they did an EKG, a chest X-

ray, and took lots of blood and they said that all tests came back

normal, but they never told me what type of other tests they did

(with the blood that is).

Maybe I should call them and ask them. I have not gotten the blood

result back from my family doctor from the other day for the hypo

thyroid test.

I am a mess today, been crying all day. My husband is a nuke and he

just has no heart whatsoever, he has not said 2 words to me since I

got home last night from the ER, it's very rare that I go to the ER,

so he has to know it is a big deal. He just left to go to the mall to

buy more model train sets for himself, as he walked out I told him

that I don't want to be married to him anymore and that he was very

selfish!

I hate men!

>

> Mia.,

>

> I am so sorry you had to go through that. I just want to make sure

the hospital checked to

> make sure it wasn't completely emotional. Did they run any blood

work? Do any tests?

>

> Was this an isolated incident or have you felt anxious in the

past.

>

> The reason I ask is I started having panic attacks, and all my

doctors assumed it was

> because of my dealings in Nada. They gave me Xanax and Zoloft and

recommended

> therapy, which I was already in.

>

> Well 8 months later, it hadn't gotten any better, and I was about

to ship myself off to

> Arizona for some intensive in patient treatment for anxiety, my dr

took a look at me, all

> the symptoms I had been telling him for 8 months finally made

sense, and he ran some

> blood work, I was extremely hyper thyroid. hormone levels 300x

normal.

>

> The only reason I bring this up, is your post really brought me

back to what I was feeling

> through out those 8 months. Everyone around me was telling me just

to get up and not let

> my mother bother me, and I did, I went to work, went on with my

life and every couple of

> weeks, I would have a episode.

>

> If they would have caught it during the first or second horrendous

panic attack, my

> recovery wouldn't have been so freakin hard, I am still struggling

to get my hormones

> back on track.

>

> So in addition to talking to a therapist, you may want to take a

trip to your primary care

> doctor and insist that they run tests for anything that may cause

anxiety, it is amazing

> how many medical conditions, if unrecognized can cause panic

attacks, and from how I

> understand the mind body connection, they tend to get worse during

times of stress!

>

> I hope you are feeling better.

>

> L

>

[Guest guest]

Mia,

They are the same tests, a lot of times they just run one test, and then say you

are fine, if

you find that therapy and anti anxiety meds just don't do it, I would recommend

follow up

with additional blood work in a couple of months.

I collected lab work from the initial episode a year later, and noticed that

while not

alarming, my thyroid levels were slightly elevated, if only the doctor would

have re tested

in a month or even 3 things would have been very different.

I only bring this up because 2 years later, I can't get rid of this damn

anxiety. It seems to

me that when a woman goes to the dr. and says she is having anxiety/depression,

and

that her life is a little difficult right now, they don't bother to look any

further. I get really

upset, so when ever I hear a story that starts similar to mine, I try to let

people know it

may not " all be in your head " as so many dr and friends told me.

As my therapist tells me take good care of yourself. I would totally take a

warm bath, put

on some nice smelling lotion. Depending on were you live you may want to take a

walk (if

only for 10 minutes) fresh air does wonders, and some quiet meditation. I also

found

drinking hot decaffeinated tea really helped. You would be surprised how much

caffeine

can effect the anxiety.

These things work for me, even if it is only for a couple of hours

I hope you feel better soon.

> >

> > Mia.,

> >

> > I am so sorry you had to go through that. I just want to make sure

> the hospital checked to

> > make sure it wasn't completely emotional. Did they run any blood

> work? Do any tests?

> >

> > Was this an isolated incident or have you felt anxious in the

> past.

> >

> > The reason I ask is I started having panic attacks, and all my

> doctors assumed it was

> > because of my dealings in Nada. They gave me Xanax and Zoloft and

> recommended

> > therapy, which I was already in.

> >

> > Well 8 months later, it hadn't gotten any better, and I was about

> to ship myself off to

> > Arizona for some intensive in patient treatment for anxiety, my dr

> took a look at me, all

> > the symptoms I had been telling him for 8 months finally made

> sense, and he ran some

> > blood work, I was extremely hyper thyroid. hormone levels 300x

> normal.

> >

> > The only reason I bring this up, is your post really brought me

> back to what I was feeling

> > through out those 8 months. Everyone around me was telling me just

> to get up and not let

> > my mother bother me, and I did, I went to work, went on with my

> life and every couple of

> > weeks, I would have a episode.

> >

> > If they would have caught it during the first or second horrendous

> panic attack, my

> > recovery wouldn't have been so freakin hard, I am still struggling

> to get my hormones

> > back on track.

> >

> > So in addition to talking to a therapist, you may want to take a

> trip to your primary care

> > doctor and insist that they run tests for anything that may cause

> anxiety, it is amazing

> > how many medical conditions, if unrecognized can cause panic

> attacks, and from how I

> > understand the mind body connection, they tend to get worse during

> times of stress!

> >

> > I hope you are feeling better.

> >

> > L

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Mia, you are getting some excellent advice here. I want to echo what

said regarding seeing a doctor for a prescription to help you

through the initial stages of getting the panic attacks under control.

I resisted this for way too long and I was on the verge of a nervous

breakdown; then at my weakest point, some more stress (unrelated to

BPD) was piled on top, and I almost lost my ability to function. I saw

the doc and she immediately prescribed xanax, and then changed it to

zoloft and I am much better mentally and emotionally, but I was

diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis immediately following all of this

stress; many believe a very stressful event can bring this about. My

advice to you is to help soothe yourself NOW before you get physically

sick. Medicating a problem is not a solution, surely, but it helps

keep you calm and strong so that you CAN solve these issues, which most

likely will need to include NC from your NADA. It was only after these

two pieces were in place that I was able to start healing. You

definitely need to speak to your husband as well and explain that you

are scared, confused and overwhelmed; you need his support. Good luck

to you.

~Elle