When do you confront them?

[Guest guest]

I am always struggling with when to confront my nada. Most of the

time I an able to accept that it is an illness and that confronting

her will not work. But recently her rage has gotten out of hand and

she has said some hurtful (and very tacky and childish!) things.

One of the things said hurt not only me, but a friend of mine...so I

felt like I had to say something.

I finally felt all my anger and upset come to the surface and I

vented to my father. I have tried in the past to vent to my nada,

but she always seems to talk right over me, won't look me in the

eye, and we get nowhere. She cannot apologize and actually denies

saying things that she has said in the past---even if she said them

less than 3 minutes ago!!! I tried writing her a letter--she read

it, but it was like I never did anything! So recently I tried

venting to my father. He said he would " think about things " (things

meaning seeing a counselor, etc). This was 3 weeks ago. He has

never mentioned it again, nor have I. I'm wondering if it is worth

me pressuring him to address nada's problem, or if I should just

keep accepting that nada will not change and that my father is

living in fear and will not get her to seek counseling. He is

taking the easy road of staying out of her way and I can't blame

him. I believe my only choice is to " deal " with the emotional

abuse...try to brush it off..or just drop contact for good. I have

dropped contact in the past when things were really bad. It's

always around 3 weeks after this happens that I get either an angry

phone call about me not calling home (they never call me...I'm

expected to call every time)....or I just got a phone call

pretending nothing happened. There is never an apology and always a

denial!