Guest guest Posted January 1, 2008 Report Share Posted January 1, 2008 > One trait I've noticed and wonder if the group could comment on is an > absolute inability to handle stress, even just the basic day-to-day > stress we all face. Is this common with BPD? I feel I can relate to this. It seems almost like my nada's life is divided into " phases " , determined by what thing in her life at the time was being used as the excuse (by her and my dad) as to why she was too stressed to contain her abusiveness. The problems varied: health concerns, bad jobs/coworkers, family issues, spiritual crises, and back when she kept friends, drama with them. Sometimes these problems overlapped, sometimes they lasted months, but there was *always* a problem. Always a reason she couldn't be expected to act right. Her excuse-making, and my dad's making excuses for her, trained me all my life to walk in awe of her problems and minimize my own. After all, they had to be really *awful* problems to make a perfectly healthy person act so abusively to their loved ones, right? The older I get, and the more complicated problems I have to deal with myself, the more I see that was a load of bull. I've dealt with some horrible circumstances in my adult life, and a large part of my response to them was to make sure they didn't " spread " to other parts of my life, or to others' lives needlessly. That sort of conscientiousness is possible, and I'd think common for KO's who don't want to be like their nadas. It's a far cry from milking misfortune as an excuse to mistreat your helpers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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