Re: I got my ring!!! Now how I am I going to tell nada?

[Guest guest]

r pigeon? Sky writing? A billboard? I know those are silly

answers. The 'best' way is the way you would feel most comfortable

and least threatened. Since you know it isn't going to go over well,

I would opt for the least stressful way that you can do this. Since

you know they won't be happy for you, don't invest much of your time,

energy or emotions into telling them.

Congratulations!!!!! You are truely embarking on a new life. You

have every right to happiness, and you have no obligation to toxic

family members who do not care enough to want what is best for YOU.

You can use this as an opportunity to set a new standard of

communication with the foo.

Best wishes,

Sylvia

>

> My fiance' made it official yesterday and gave me my engagement

ring.

> All my friends & cousins are excited but.....

>

> I'm still trying to figure out how to tell nada and my grandparents.

>

> I know better than to get my hopes up and think that this is going

to

> go over well, but I was wondering what the best way to do would be.

> Any suggestions?

>

[Guest guest]

Hey, congratulations! If you want to tell them, I'd just tell them

straight. I'd also prepare myself for any possible reaction, good or

bad, and just remind myself that this is a cause for celebration no

matter what they say.

>

> My fiance' made it official yesterday and gave me my engagement

ring.

> All my friends & cousins are excited but.....

>

> I'm still trying to figure out how to tell nada and my grandparents.

>

> I know better than to get my hopes up and think that this is going to

> go over well, but I was wondering what the best way to do would be.

> Any suggestions?

>

[Guest guest]

Congrats!!! It really is such an exciting time, enjoy w/ or w/o the

rest of your family.

You could always send an ecard like I did to announce my pregnancy. I

didn't want to hear the annoyed reactions. Good luck.

> >

> > My fiance' made it official yesterday and gave me my engagement

> ring.

> > All my friends & cousins are excited but.....

> >

> > I'm still trying to figure out how to tell nada and my

grandparents.

> >

> > I know better than to get my hopes up and think that this is

going to

> > go over well, but I was wondering what the best way to do would

be.

> > Any suggestions?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Ah yes,

I do remember this. It went not horrible, but not great. Which, I

think, is the best you can expect.

If I could redo it, here is what I would do:

If you live close and see them, stop by WITH FIANCE and say, " Look! "

Then wait for it, wait for it... if it's flat, quiet faces, then you

did well. Say, well, we're going out to dinner to celebrate! and leave

while you can. Stay in the entry way if you can. Just tell them you

wanted to let them be " the first to know " even if they're not, and then

head off to dinner.

My mistake is that they went to dinner with us. I do not recommend

this!!!

) Cheryl

>

> My fiance' made it official yesterday and gave me my engagement

ring.

> All my friends & cousins are excited but.....

>

> I'm still trying to figure out how to tell nada and my grandparents.

>

> I know better than to get my hopes up and think that this is going to

> go over well, but I was wondering what the best way to do would be.

> Any suggestions?

>

[Guest guest]

Congratulations!!!!!!!

writermanque wrote: Hey, congratulations! If

you want to tell them, I'd just tell them

straight. I'd also prepare myself for any possible reaction, good or

bad, and just remind myself that this is a cause for celebration no

matter what they say.

>

> My fiance' made it official yesterday and gave me my engagement

ring.

> All my friends & cousins are excited but.....

>

> I'm still trying to figure out how to tell nada and my grandparents.

>

> I know better than to get my hopes up and think that this is going to

> go over well, but I was wondering what the best way to do would be.

> Any suggestions?

>

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Can you see how she's already " leaked " into your happiness? How

you're already worried that it's not going to " go over well " ....Like

you are some subject to a Queen and have no choice but to walk into

their lion's den and be their latest meal.

You have the absolute, God-given right to be excited about your news.

You have the absolute God-given right to limit or OMIT your time

around those who target you for their own selfish motivations --

thereby ruining life's happy moments for you.

I would tell your nada just as you would happily announce it to anyone

else -- and I wouldn't give her the opportunity to spoil your

happiness. If, after you tell her, she starts in on the negativity

(or whatever her preferred spoil method is), I'd either say " Well, I

had hoped you'd share my happiness, but you're entitled to feel the

way you want -- then I'd wish her a good day and leave, or politely

hang up.

My nada and fada cast a cloud over my wedding announcement and plans --

and I was a participant by hanging around for it. I didn't see that

I had a choice NOT to be a victim of their narcissism. YOU HAVE A

CHOICE NOT TO BE AROUND THEM IF THEY'RE UNPLEASANT ABOUT YOUR

ENGAGEMENT.

Don't stick around to be a victim -- and get on with your life without

worrying about nada. It will steal your joy, and keep you from

knowing the full bloom of your adult life.

Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS!

-Kyla

>

> My fiance' made it official yesterday and gave me my engagement

ring.

> All my friends & cousins are excited but.....

>

> I'm still trying to figure out how to tell nada and my grandparents.

>

> I know better than to get my hopes up and think that this is going

to

> go over well, but I was wondering what the best way to do would be.

> Any suggestions?

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, listen to Kyla. When I got engaged last fall, i was really

happy for the first minute, then I remember the nasty feeling of

dread that slowly leaked inside of me...the fear of having to tell

NADA. I hurried up and got it over with that same night....and of

course she didn't say congratualtions...just said stuff like " well,

if you want to set yourself up for heartache, that is your problem "

and " well, now I'm definitely not going to be able to sleep

tonight " and " im so disappointed in you " . she was a bitch about the

whole things, pardon my french. and then later, during the big

blowout we had right before I went NC, she actually said that my

problem was that I let (my fiancee) brainwash me and tell me

what to do. that it was all his fault. HAHA BRAINWASH!!! she

actually said that!

If I were you, i would just give NADA a call and act really happy

and excited and say " Mom, i've got GREAT news! I'm getting

married!!! " if she starts bitching about it, just say " well, just

wanted you to know...love you, bye! " and then hang up. don't worry

about it, and enjoy this happy time in your life. i let my NADA ruin

that night for me...don't let yours do the same.

~Sara Jo

> >

> > My fiance' made it official yesterday and gave me my engagement

> ring.

> > All my friends & cousins are excited but.....

> >

> > I'm still trying to figure out how to tell nada and my

grandparents.

> >

> > I know better than to get my hopes up and think that this is

going

> to

> > go over well, but I was wondering what the best way to do would

be.

> > Any suggestions?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Oooooh! This sounds like a great idea to me! Have the help of your

finace as buffer. This is also a great way to introduce the idea to

your nada that - guess what - there is a NEW #1 in your life!

-Deanna

>

> Ah yes,

>

> I do remember this. It went not horrible, but not great. Which, I

> think, is the best you can expect.

> If I could redo it, here is what I would do:

> If you live close and see them, stop by WITH FIANCE and say, " Look! "

> Then wait for it, wait for it... if it's flat, quiet faces, then you

> did well. Say, well, we're going out to dinner to celebrate! and leave

> while you can. Stay in the entry way if you can. Just tell them you

> wanted to let them be " the first to know " even if they're not, and then

> head off to dinner.

> My mistake is that they went to dinner with us. I do not recommend

> this!!!

>

> ) Cheryl