Re: Parents Continue to Speak bad about us!!! Solutio...

[Guest guest]

It's so hard to live with someone who has BPD...in my case, my mom and

sister have it; sometimes I feel like just moving out but at the same time I'm

unsure because there are some benefits of living here--mostly monetary. I'm

confused.

Best,

In a message dated 1/17/2008 10:58:14 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

nanleejoy@... writes:

Thanks Kyla! That is perfectly put!

I agree. And if I had some naggers on my case I would smile sweetly

and state " There is always 2 sides to a story. Maybe one day you

will want to hear mine when you're ready " .

I think (or maybe hope) that most adults realize that in a

relationship there are 2 sides to the story.

As for getting over the pain of it, I don't think it ever really goes

away (it bothers me every time still), but if you are providing your

nada with less information (like just discussing the weather

outside!) then you give her less material to work with.

Nan

> >

> > I can chime in here with what works for me: Get busy living your

> > own full life, and accept the fact that not everybody is going to

> > love you, or believe you, or even like you. If you like yourself

> > well enough, and have loyal friends (and family) who like and

> > respect you, co-workers who like you, etc., then go about the

> > business of filling your life with THOSE voice, and ditch the

> > naysayers who want to sit in the muck with your mother.

> >

> > I think sometimes we distract ourselves and look away from what

is

> > (or could be) good in our life, by concentrating too much on

people

> > who bring us down, and bring negativity and doubt into our lives.

> >

> > We're the gatekeepers of our lives -- it IS possible to shut out

the

> > negative noise. I've heard life compared to a garden -- you must

> > prune it to keep the weeds out, and let the healthy branches grow.

> >

> > <<I can't seem to get past that with my own nada. I

> > > spend so much time upset and stressed out over the

> > > lies and half-truths that she spins and wondering who

> > > has been told what and BELEIVED what. She's pulled

> > > some big ones, y'know? Ones that have really harmed

> > > some of my relationships because people either

> > > believed her and/or they just didn't want to deal with

> > > the drama she created.>>

> >

> >

> > It's a waste of time to plead with people to like you -- they

either

> > like you or they don't. They'll either believe your mother's

tales,

> > or they won't. There's nothing you can do about that. You CAN

move

> > on and turn your attention toward your own life. Let your mother

> > go. Leave her to her lies -- the less you have to do with her,

the

> > less she'll have to lie about.

> >

> > -Kyla

> >

>

**************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.

http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489

[Guest guest]

How much of your soul and spirit are you willing to kill for the

monetary benefits?

Sylvia

> > >

> > > I can chime in here with what works for me: Get busy living

your

> > > own full life, and accept the fact that not everybody is

going to

> > > love you, or believe you, or even like you. If you like

yourself

> > > well enough, and have loyal friends (and family) who like and

> > > respect you, co-workers who like you, etc., then go about the

> > > business of filling your life with THOSE voice, and ditch the

> > > naysayers who want to sit in the muck with your mother.

> > >

> > > I think sometimes we distract ourselves and look away from

what

> is

> > > (or could be) good in our life, by concentrating too much on

> people

> > > who bring us down, and bring negativity and doubt into our

lives.

> > >

> > > We're the gatekeepers of our lives -- it IS possible to shut

out

> the

> > > negative noise. I've heard life compared to a garden -- you

must

> > > prune it to keep the weeds out, and let the healthy branches

grow.

> > >

> > > <<I can't seem to get past that with my own nada. I

> > > > spend so much time upset and stressed out over the

> > > > lies and half-truths that she spins and wondering who

> > > > has been told what and BELEIVED what. She's pulled

> > > > some big ones, y'know? Ones that have really harmed

> > > > some of my relationships because people either

> > > > believed her and/or they just didn't want to deal with

> > > > the drama she created.>>

> > >

> > >

> > > It's a waste of time to plead with people to like you -- they

> either

> > > like you or they don't. They'll either believe your mother's

> tales,

> > > or they won't. There's nothing you can do about that. You CAN

> move

> > > on and turn your attention toward your own life. Let your

mother

> > > go. Leave her to her lies -- the less you have to do with

her,

> the

> > > less she'll have to lie about.

> > >

> > > -Kyla

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> **************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in

shape.

> http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?

NCID=aolcmp00300000002489

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree -- there is no amount of money that's worth living like that.

Certain things just aren't worth the money. Freedom from emotional

tyranny is priceless.

-Kyla

> > > >

> > > > I can chime in here with what works for me: Get busy living

> your

> > > > own full life, and accept the fact that not everybody is

> going to

> > > > love you, or believe you, or even like you. If you like

> yourself

> > > > well enough, and have loyal friends (and family) who like

and

> > > > respect you, co-workers who like you, etc., then go about

the

> > > > business of filling your life with THOSE voice, and ditch

the

> > > > naysayers who want to sit in the muck with your mother.

> > > >

> > > > I think sometimes we distract ourselves and look away from

> what

> > is

> > > > (or could be) good in our life, by concentrating too much

on

> > people

> > > > who bring us down, and bring negativity and doubt into our

> lives.

> > > >

> > > > We're the gatekeepers of our lives -- it IS possible to

shut

> out

> > the

> > > > negative noise. I've heard life compared to a garden -- you

> must

> > > > prune it to keep the weeds out, and let the healthy

branches

> grow.

> > > >

> > > > <<I can't seem to get past that with my own nada. I

> > > > > spend so much time upset and stressed out over the

> > > > > lies and half-truths that she spins and wondering who

> > > > > has been told what and BELEIVED what. She's pulled

> > > > > some big ones, y'know? Ones that have really harmed

> > > > > some of my relationships because people either

> > > > > believed her and/or they just didn't want to deal with

> > > > > the drama she created.>>

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > It's a waste of time to plead with people to like you --

they

> > either

> > > > like you or they don't. They'll either believe your

mother's

> > tales,

> > > > or they won't. There's nothing you can do about that. You

CAN

> > move

> > > > on and turn your attention toward your own life. Let your

> mother

> > > > go. Leave her to her lies -- the less you have to do with

> her,

> > the

> > > > less she'll have to lie about.

> > > >

> > > > -Kyla

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > **************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in

> shape.

> > http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?

> NCID=aolcmp00300000002489

> >

> >

> >