Guest guest Posted January 19, 2008 Report Share Posted January 19, 2008 Your mom is seriously ill and hell-bent on using your boyfriend as a target. If you want a normal life, I'd consider " No Contact " . I can't see any good in trying to maintain a relationship with someone capable of accusing you and your boyfriend of what's in those e- mails. She's sick -- and bent on destruction. I'd stay out of her path and get on with my life. -Kyla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Let's see here... ....mom is delusional ....mom is mean and nasty ....mom knows there is a problem and refuses to do anything about it ....mom is no longer in control of you and so lashes out against the person she thinks took you away from her, your boyfriend ....mom is irrational I'd say SHE is the one asking for no contact. Do her a favor, IMHO, and give her what she wants. > > Hi everyone. I just joined the group and have been reading some > emails. I cannot believe how similar everything sounds to my own life! > i am seriously fed up with my mother, and about ready to cut off > contact with her. i'm just running out of patience. my friends and > family tell me not to let her bother me, but i can't help it. i had to > grow up with her, and she has traumatized me. i have nightmares about > her, and suffer from depression. and she knows how to upset me. > > the other day i called her and she decided to bitch about and insult > my boyfriend of 2 years. i hung up on her, which is my policy when she > starts being nasty to me. > > i thought about it and decided that maybe i should give her an > ultimatum - she get in therapy (and stay in it!) and take some > medication, or i don't want to see her. (she will admit to her > disorder, and has been in and out of therapy my whole life. when i was > young, she tried some meds, but always complains they " don't work " or > that the side effects are too bad.) after all, i have had to take > anti-depressants most of my life, and i consider it worth it. > shouldn't she want to at least TRY? (who am i kidding?) > > i sent her an email suggesting she get help, try some new medications, > go back to a therapist, and she replied with a completely nonsensical > rant about how i'm wasting my life and that my boyfriend is a > pedophile and other completely uncalled for, and completely false > accusations about me or my boyfriend (who she seems to be obsessed > over for some reason)! > > excerpts: > > " u would rather go to parks and meet strange black men to fuck than go > to a university. Where did that get u? Lots of sexual experience, I > suppose. " > > " now u can spend ALL ur time giving sex lessons to your successful > boyfriend. " > > " I swear I don't want to hurt u, I just want u to see the light. " > > amazing, how she can claim to not want to hurt me, right in the middle > of an email with nasty insults! > > " Lets see how you will react when your daughter brings home a balding, > aging, store clerk who trys to pick up 14 year olds and who has no > intention of ever getting married. " > > and the kicker: > " Medication has nothing to do with the way I feel, nor my disorder.. I > am feeling better than ever. " > > oh, yeah i can tell she's doing GREAT! > > " I would need a lot of meds before I would ever like Skyler. You are > wasting your life and I cannot remain equanimous about it. " > > i replied, saying i didn't care if she likes him or not, i want her to > take medication for herself, and those that love her, like me. and > that yelling at me all these horrible things is not going to make me > " see the light " and dump him, because we are very happy together. > > she then sent me multiple emails throughout that night, none of which > i've replied to. when she gets like this, there's not much i can do > but ignore her. i guess i probably shouldn't of even bothered to ask > her to get help, it's not like i haven't tried that multiple times > before with no success. > > " Just leave me alone, now, Casey, and for good.I guess the two of u > are MADE 4 EACH OTHER!! > A perfect match!! " > > " U were a mean little girl and u are a mean adult!! > Good riddance!! > or...... > FUCK OFF!! " > > " U are NEVER to contact me again for as long as I live! " > > > i don't know what to do. she has, of course, told me before things > like this, but always after awhile she comes back and apologizes, or > my father calls me and makes me apologize for some pointless thing she > is upset about, just so she'll leave him alone, or let him talk to me. > > as of now, i am talking to my father only in private, because when she > is mad at me, she will freak out at him if she sees he is not mad at > me as well. this is a routine me and my father have down well, ever > since i was young. > > i am totally sick of it. no one else in my life is this mean to me, > nor would i put up with it from anybody else. maybe i should take her > at her word this time, and remove her from my life? how can i have a > relationship at all with my father then? > > > sorry for the long rant! i guess i just really need some support. i > love my mom, and i feel sorry for her and understand she can't really > help it, but i also am tired of it. i didn't ask for her to be my > mother, i didn't ask for any of this, and she has hurt me so much, and > i'm so sick of it. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Hi there, I am so sorry the person you call Mom would write such things to you. These are some of the most awful things I have ever read in my life. I have often wished for my own Nada to tell me to pound sand so that I could cut off contact. If I got this in e-mails from my Nada -- I would go NC. I would keep these e-mails in a folder and when she tried to resume a relationship, I would send them back to her with a simple sentence on top. You will never be able to heal this relationship, leave me alone. Maybe I am being harsh, but I don't care who it is, I would not put up with such character assasination and nastiness from a neighbor, it seems even more of an injury to come from a mother. I do think you answered your own question at the end, as for a relationship with your father, you are his daughter, did he see these e-mails? He is going to have to be strong enough to stand up to his wife and let her know he is not giving up his relationship with his daughter, just because she is a mean, mean, woman. My prayers are with you. > excerpts: > > " u would rather go to parks and meet strange black men to fuck than go > to a university. Where did that get u? Lots of sexual experience, I > suppose. " > > " now u can spend ALL ur time giving sex lessons to your successful > boyfriend. " > > " I swear I don't want to hurt u, I just want u to see the light. " > > amazing, how she can claim to not want to hurt me, right in the middle > of an email with nasty insults! > > " Lets see how you will react when your daughter brings home a balding, > aging, store clerk who trys to pick up 14 year olds and who has no > intention of ever getting married. " > > and the kicker: > " Medication has nothing to do with the way I feel, nor my disorder.. I > am feeling better than ever. " > > oh, yeah i can tell she's doing GREAT! > > " I would need a lot of meds before I would ever like Skyler. You are > wasting your life and I cannot remain equanimous about it. " > > > " Just leave me alone, now, Casey, and for good.I guess the two of u > are MADE 4 EACH OTHER!! > A perfect match!! " > > " U were a mean little girl and u are a mean adult!! > Good riddance!! > or...... > FUCK OFF!! " > > " U are NEVER to contact me again for as long as I live! " > > > i am totally sick of it. no one else in my life is this mean to me, > nor would i put up with it from anybody else. maybe i should take her > at her word this time, and remove her from my life? how can i have a > relationship at all with my father then? > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 Thank you for all your replies! It is very nice to have people who understand. Many people have told me to cut off contact with my mother - no my Nada - and i have tried, but it's very difficult for me. See, when she's not like this, when she's her " nice " self, she can be wonderful, and like a real mother. I'm not sure it's worth it, but I also have this feeling that i want a mother (i always have) and sometimes i guess half a mother seems better than none. plus she will hassle my other family members who will then beg me to call her again so that she will leave them alone! i've decided to go NC, and this time i'm going to try to remain strong. i need to think about my own health for once. like i said, i wouldn't put up with this from anyone else, not for a second, why should i with her? usually when i've said this to my dad, he wants me to " apologize " to her (for whatever she thinks i did) and " patch things up " . this is a pattern i've been doing forever, and i'm tired of it. having a relationship with her is like a lifelong roller coaster ride! but yesterday my dad called me and said my Nada was " ready to make up " and i said, " i'm not " and he didn't even try to convince me otherwise. i told him i wasn't going to talk to her until she took some medication, and he said " that's fine " . it seems he's finally not giving into her, which will make this easier on me if it's true. thanks again for the support. =) > > Hi everyone. I just joined the group and have been reading some > emails. I cannot believe how similar everything sounds to my own life! > i am seriously fed up with my mother, and about ready to cut off > contact with her. i'm just running out of patience. my friends and > family tell me not to let her bother me, but i can't help it. i had to > grow up with her, and she has traumatized me. i have nightmares about > her, and suffer from depression. and she knows how to upset me. > > the other day i called her and she decided to bitch about and insult > my boyfriend of 2 years. i hung up on her, which is my policy when she > starts being nasty to me. > > i thought about it and decided that maybe i should give her an > ultimatum - she get in therapy (and stay in it!) and take some > medication, or i don't want to see her. (she will admit to her > disorder, and has been in and out of therapy my whole life. when i was > young, she tried some meds, but always complains they " don't work " or > that the side effects are too bad.) after all, i have had to take > anti-depressants most of my life, and i consider it worth it. > shouldn't she want to at least TRY? (who am i kidding?) > > i sent her an email suggesting she get help, try some new medications, > go back to a therapist, and she replied with a completely nonsensical > rant about how i'm wasting my life and that my boyfriend is a > pedophile and other completely uncalled for, and completely false > accusations about me or my boyfriend (who she seems to be obsessed > over for some reason)! > > excerpts: > > " u would rather go to parks and meet strange black men to fuck than go > to a university. Where did that get u? Lots of sexual experience, I > suppose. " > > " now u can spend ALL ur time giving sex lessons to your successful > boyfriend. " > > " I swear I don't want to hurt u, I just want u to see the light. " > > amazing, how she can claim to not want to hurt me, right in the middle > of an email with nasty insults! > > " Lets see how you will react when your daughter brings home a balding, > aging, store clerk who trys to pick up 14 year olds and who has no > intention of ever getting married. " > > and the kicker: > " Medication has nothing to do with the way I feel, nor my disorder.. I > am feeling better than ever. " > > oh, yeah i can tell she's doing GREAT! > > " I would need a lot of meds before I would ever like Skyler. You are > wasting your life and I cannot remain equanimous about it. " > > i replied, saying i didn't care if she likes him or not, i want her to > take medication for herself, and those that love her, like me. and > that yelling at me all these horrible things is not going to make me > " see the light " and dump him, because we are very happy together. > > she then sent me multiple emails throughout that night, none of which > i've replied to. when she gets like this, there's not much i can do > but ignore her. i guess i probably shouldn't of even bothered to ask > her to get help, it's not like i haven't tried that multiple times > before with no success. > > " Just leave me alone, now, Casey, and for good.I guess the two of u > are MADE 4 EACH OTHER!! > A perfect match!! " > > " U were a mean little girl and u are a mean adult!! > Good riddance!! > or...... > FUCK OFF!! " > > " U are NEVER to contact me again for as long as I live! " > > > i don't know what to do. she has, of course, told me before things > like this, but always after awhile she comes back and apologizes, or > my father calls me and makes me apologize for some pointless thing she > is upset about, just so she'll leave him alone, or let him talk to me. > > as of now, i am talking to my father only in private, because when she > is mad at me, she will freak out at him if she sees he is not mad at > me as well. this is a routine me and my father have down well, ever > since i was young. > > i am totally sick of it. no one else in my life is this mean to me, > nor would i put up with it from anybody else. maybe i should take her > at her word this time, and remove her from my life? how can i have a > relationship at all with my father then? > > > sorry for the long rant! i guess i just really need some support. i > love my mom, and i feel sorry for her and understand she can't really > help it, but i also am tired of it. i didn't ask for her to be my > mother, i didn't ask for any of this, and she has hurt me so much, and > i'm so sick of it. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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