Re: Relieved....

[Guest guest]

One thing you may want to think about is that your sister may have had a

different kind of relationship with your mother than you did. If she has not

had therapy, denial can take over the mind and the memory. Maybe she does not

remember her childhood, like you do? Or maybe she is completely lost in Oz.

Set your boundaries with them and stick to them. This is your life now and you

need to do what is best for YOU and your immediate family.

In my family, I was the chosen child by my mother and father. I got most of the

same, guilt, anger, etc. etc. I was the mother and caretaker for the whole

family growing up. I did the cooking, cleaning, all the things that parent

should do for their children.

My younger sister has a very different relationship with our Nada. In fact,

over the Christmas holiday Nada went completely psychotic in an e-mail. My

sister was completely shocked by this. She said to me " Wow, no wonder you and

mom are not as close as I am with her " . My sister now understands why I am LC.

My brother on the other hand, never had therapy. He took a fair amount of

physical and verbal abuse growing up. He moved out of town at 18 and I believe

is happy being in denial and LC with Nada.

Take care, Deb

Relieved....

I am so relieved to read so many messages that validate my feelings

about my own mother, or " momster " as someone so perfectly called their

mom. I am 40 years old with 3 children, and I have not seen my Mom

(except by running in to her) in 5 years. It was the best decision I

ever made. It has been hard for other people in my life to realize

that I had no choice, as people who have never dealt with a parent

with BPD have NO idea or comprehension on what it means to be the

child of one. But this is a fabulous community, I stumbled upon it and

and so glad I did. Thank you to you all, for your words have helped me

realize I am not alone.

Most recently, I have had some conversations with one of my sisters

that she thinks she may want to reconnect with our Mom (I am the

youngest of 3 and none of us have contact with her). In fact, she

wants to think about inviting her to her son's high school graduation

this June! I keep reminding her that our Mom has ruined every life

cycle event that we have ever had, yet she is still considering it.

Makes me start to think my sister is sick too....

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