A Big Step In The Right Direction

[Guest guest]

Wow. I'm so happy for you and I don't even know you. I really envy your

situation. My mother has owned up to her problems, but after three months,

we're

still searching for a therapist who does DBT therapy and takes Medicare. I

hope one day soon she'll find a therapist and get relief from this terrible

disorder. She really misses her grand kids and they miss her. Although I miss

the loving part of her, (she actually does have one) I do not miss the all

encompassing draining aspect of her personality and I can truly say for the

first

time in my life I am not feeling guilt, I am not worrying about what she will

think or how she will act and I am not stressed with my own kids anymore. I

actually have patience with them because my mother isn't draining me of it

first.

Please, please, keep us posted of your mother's progress. This is what I

have been looking for. Someone whose mother is in therapy willingly, to see how

it progresses. I'm hoping to be able to post that my mother is making

progress one day soon also. I've read that borderlines need a full year at

minimum

to make real progress towards recovery. I wish you all the best with your mom.

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[Guest guest]

Hi,

I haven't been here in several weeks. I'm a 25 y/o woman that was on

restricted contact and considering going no contact with my mother.

Before going NC, I sent her an email explaining why and saying that I

believed she had BPD. A week later, on Christmas Eve, I talked to her

on the first time in months. She apologized, owned her actions and

agreed to get help.

She saw a therapist about BPD for the first time today. She sees a

psychiatrist in a few weeks. Her visit with her therapist sounded very

promising. I should note that my mother survived a traumatic brain

injury last year (she has fully recovered) and has been much less

aggressive since. Without that terrible incident, none of this would

be possible. It has turned out to be a good thing, somehow.

I know that I will never have the childhood that was lost. But I can

have some sort of relationship now with my mother. Her first

assignment from her therapist is about boundaries - she has some books

to read. She also needs a copy of my personal boundaries for her

therapist to explain them to her.

I am glad she is going. She has taken responsibility for her actions,

even things she does not remember doing. Her therapist reiterated

today that it was important for her to do that.

To finally have some validation is a relief.

ER

[Guest guest]

I did not expect it to happen at all. I was just sending her the email

to let her know why I was cutting her out of my life. I was tired of

hurting and ready to completely restrict contact. But, I think the

nine months of continually reinforcing my boundaries and standing my

ground got her attention.

I still cannot believe she is in treatment now. I never would have

thought she would have gone. Not my mother.

Her therapist has experience with cognitive behavioral therapy, and my

mom has actually seen him in the past for depression/anxiety. He may

or may not be trained in DBT, but at this point, I feel like he can

help her. I gave her a list, at her request, of things she should talk

to him about. He said he could handle all of them. I am confident that

he can, and that she will stick with it since she feels comfortable

talking to him.

I hope you can find someone to help your mother that will take

Medicare. A lot of times mental health professionals shy away from

borderlines, but if she is not currently self-harming it might help to

mention that.

I will keep you posted on my mother's progress and our situation.

ER

[Guest guest]

That is a wonderful, hopeful development. Gives hope to us all.

Keep us posted!

-Kyla

[Guest guest]

This is great, ER --

Yes, a big step forward. I'm sorry about her brain injury last year -- but glad

that it resulted in a good conclusion for you both. You are definitely moving

in the right direction - -and you have my sincere good wishes for continued

right action in your relationship.

AZClown

A Big Step In The Right Direction

Hi,

I haven't been here in several weeks. I'm a 25 y/o woman that was on

restricted contact and considering going no contact with my mother.

Before going NC, I sent her an email explaining why and saying that I

believed she had BPD. A week later, on Christmas Eve, I talked to her

on the first time in months. She apologized, owned her actions and

agreed to get help.

She saw a therapist about BPD for the first time today. She sees a

psychiatrist in a few weeks. Her visit with her therapist sounded very

promising. I should note that my mother survived a traumatic brain

injury last year (she has fully recovered) and has been much less

aggressive since. Without that terrible incident, none of this would

be possible. It has turned out to be a good thing, somehow.

I know that I will never have the childhood that was lost. But I can

have some sort of relationship now with my mother. Her first

assignment from her therapist is about boundaries - she has some books

to read. She also needs a copy of my personal boundaries for her

therapist to explain them to her.

I am glad she is going. She has taken responsibility for her actions,

even things she does not remember doing. Her therapist reiterated

today that it was important for her to do that.

To finally have some validation is a relief.

ER

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