Thinking back to LC with nada.......

January 9, 2008

I was long LC with my nada for about 10 years or so, long before I

knew about BPD. I had, from time to time, fun messing with my

nada's head, and using her short comings for my humor.....I needed

to as she constantly hurt my feelings.

For instance......a sure and easy way to get off the phone with her

was to mention money. Anytime I mentioned a bill, or my lack of

money, she would squirm on the phone, and all of a sudden someone

would be at her front door. Funny cuz I have never asked her for a

dime.....well we discussed a loan for a house, and because she

wanted interest paid, we moved in to dads house instead.

Also......anytime I had a marital woe....again she would squirm,

change the subject, and got the sudden urge to go to the

bathroom " gotta go " . Its like she was afraid that I would get a

divorce, and ask to move in with her, with the kids, and she would

be stuck with me. This hasn't always been funny to me, because she

hasn't been a sounding board on marriage at all......not that I

would ever take her advice, if she were normal......maybe??? Doubt

it though!!!

I found also, that our phone conversations would, and could, go on

and on, like I had nothing better to do, but to talk to her all

day. She loved to talk, UNLESS THE SUBJECT WAS ME.......or I had a

rant. She would, out and out, lie to me, to get off the phone by

saying that she had another call on the other line. Of course I

never heard the " beep " and knew damn good and well what she was up

to. My only regret was, I never called her out on her shit. I

wanted to, but never did.

I just was reflecting to my days of LC with my nada.....and

remembering what a jerk she really is/was.

Thanks so much for all your posts about guilty BP's. I needed to

hear that she probably isn't feeling very guilty about our NC. It

doesn't make me feel any better....but for some reason it makes me

feel less guilty myself. I am able for once, turn it back around

on her......and that makes me feel stronger. A bit BP'ish of me???

drlingirl

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