Wow... there are others! This is great!

[Guest guest]

Well, you know what I mean.

My mom was diagnosed 3 months ago with Narciccistic BPD. I grew up so

many of these " text book " behaviors- I can't believe it was all out

there all this time. I look back on my childhood and I'm like " HEY!

That was her splitting! " or " I remember her smearing my dad! " I

finally feel in control. I at least know what the heck it's all about

now.

We finally got her into an evaluation after her new boyfriend and her

went through a break-up. I won't get into the long version, but here

are the basics:

The boyfriend- we'll call him Tim- started getting concerned when he

realized she had issues with money. She was making $3,000 a month,

living with him for free and she hadn't made her car payment in 5

months. (My brother had to pay the whole thing off because he had

made the huge mistake of co-signing for it- the balance for pay off

was $600. Not kidding. It was almost repo-ed.)

When Tim expressed concern over the money situation, she rationalized

that something was wrong with HIM. She decided that he was off his

medication (he takes testosterone and had switched brands)and it was

effecting his behavior. She began to tell everyone that he was acting

strange (by acting strange, she means that he wants to know why she

is handing him yet another bill from a collection agency).

Two weeks later, she has a severe splitting episode that results in

her " escaping " to a hotel, begging us not to tell Tim where she is

since she is afraid for her saftey. She does a whole smear campainge

and actaully at one point accuses him of being a pedifile. Her 80

year old parents foot the $1,000 bill for the 2 week hotel stay and

she eventually ends up living with me. Of course, black turns back to

white and she starts wondering out loud if Tim would take her back...

I'm like " Didn't he try to kill you? " rolling my eyes.

Tim is probably the nicest guy I have ever met. We are actaully great

friends now. The poor man met this beautiful, educated woman and woke

up one day to find out she is crazy. It was disappointing to say the

least.

This is the first time we noticed a pattern in her behavior. She has

done the whole " I am afraid for my saftey! " thing before to my dad.

Unfortunatly, the first time she did it, we were all young and got to

go along for the ride. She actually kidnapped us (me, my younger

brother and sister) when we were 7, 10 and 11. We were flown to the

east coast and hidden in people's basements for 3 weeks. My dad got

full custody of us THANK GOD! This happened many times when I was

younger but we always thought maybe my parents were just bad

together. It wasnt until Tim that we were like HEY!

She made it for 3 weeks living with me before my husband kicked her

out. She was giving my 2 and 1 year old children unmeasured doses of

medicine in their bottles. She was walking around the whole day

asking if she could give them a sedative. WTF?! Then I found her

squirting Tylenol into their bottles. Just pouring it in there. I

can't believe this woman raised me and I survived. This is just 1

situation when she endangered my kids. She cleaned my babies high

chair tray with dishwasher gel. It's white and you can't see it on

the white tray. I just happened to lean up against it and it bleached

out the front of my pants... there was globs of it on there that she

didn't rinse off. I was about to sit my baby there and feed her

dinner off that surface. It was just by chance that I found what my

mom had done. It scares the heck out of me. She is like a 2 year old

who can open child proof caps.

My mother has a Master's degree. Her brothers and sisters are doctors

and engineers. She is a waitress. She can't keep a job. She has

conflict everywhere she goes. She has these grand fantasies of fame

and fortune. I found this brain storm activity in her desk and it was

freakn unbelievable. The middle of the brainstorm was 'my 5 year

goal'. The bubbles around had things in them like 'signing my

autograph for a living', 'TV interviews', 'book signings' and 'swiss

bank accounts'.

I can't believe how common all this is. I felt like I was losing my

mind! We knew something was very wrong with her but never thought it

was something like this. She is in therapy now, being paid for by the

family. It's only been a few months but and the crazyness continues.

What more can we do?