Re: Re: need your advice on breaking my NC/ dreams

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I have had SOOO many terrible vivid nada/ step dad dreams since returning from

home last week. In one, I dreamt she was brutally murdered and the killer was

still lurking in the basement. I wept and wept (but I don't think that means I

was sad, death rarely means death in dreams, it often has more to do with

letting go of an issue you can't control!) I had one last night, it was one of

the worst I've had in awhile. In it, our neighbors had strung up banners in our

trees with nada's offenses written in green and red (she's been stirring up

trouble in our town lately). She'd awoken to find the banners and called some

neighbors and family friends at 3 am (I distinctly remember being so embarassed

that she'd woken people up so early!) and they formed a parade and marched to

our house in the pitch dark, they showed up with a circus and popcorn and nada

was totally delighted but one of them women whispered to me that they were

having her taken to a psych ward and it was her

last hurrah before being sent away. It was so vivid! Her eyes were so crazy

and delighted, child-like, as she danced to a band they'd hired and I cried.

I think dreams like those are very cathartic for our poor little brains trying

to cope with ongoing (or in my case recent) trauma.

drlingirl wrote:

Dreams are great.....I work through alot of stuff in my dreams.

Funny how I seem so much braver in them too :0)

I have told her off many times in my dreams. Once I dreamt that she

died. I woke up crying....which surprised the hell out of me. I

guess I do love her???

Not feeling the love much lately though.

Happy dreams tonight Mr.Z!!!

drlingirl

> > > > >

> > > > > Hello everyone.

> > > > > I have been NC with NADA since November 15th. When i

stopped

> > > > talking

> > > > > to her, I didn't plan on being NC forever. But when I went

NC

> > i

> > > > > didn't give her any reasons for doing so. she hung up the

> > phone

> > > on

> > > > me

> > > > > one day, and i haven't called her since. and she would

rather

> > die

> > > > > than " make the first move " and call me.

> > > > > Eventually in the near future i would like to talk to her

> > again.

> > > > But

> > > > > seeing as there will be no " reasoning " with her, i don't

know

> > how

> > > > to

> > > > > do it. I thought about writing a letter telling her how I

> feel

> > > > about

> > > > > everything...ive never told her about how i felt about her

as

> > a

> > > > mom

> > > > > or anything like what i talk about on the boards here.

> > > > > ive written my mother several letters over the years,

mostly

> > when

> > > > i

> > > > > was younger and still living at home as a child. i would

> write

> > > her

> > > > > letters of remore and apology for being such a bad kid,

and

> > how

> > > > sorry

> > > > > i was for doing wrong. she loved those letters, and saved

all

> > of

> > > > > them. if i write this letter and send it to her, before

she

> > opens

> > > > it

> > > > > she will expect it to be another apology letter like she

used

> > to

> > > > get

> > > > > from me. but it wont be, and i don't know how she will

react

> > to

> > > > it.

> > > > >

> > > > > i don't know where to go from here. i plan on talking to

my

> > > > therapist

> > > > > about this before i take action. but i don't know how to

word

> > > > > anything if i decide to write it.

> > > > >

> > > > > have any of you wrote similar letters to your NADA's or

> > FADA's?

> > > > Can

> > > > > you give me examples of what you wrote and how you wrote

it?

> > > > >

> > > > > Should I just leave things the way they are and not worry

> > about

> > > > > telling her anything?

> > > > >

> > > > > Any advice is appreciated. You all help me so much....and

> this

> > > > board

> > > > > has been the biggest help for me getting through all this

> with

> > my

> > > > > mom. Thank you so much.

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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