Keep living your life

[Guest guest]

Hello Everyone,

I have felt like doing the same thing my father did, throw in the

towel, but is that the solution, mabe for my self. because Like a lot

of us the fight, battle, or what ever it may be, we end it, but we so

sorrowly leave behind our family's, friends, if we have any left.

We leave behind people who care about us and some very deeply, trade

places, I've had to latley, re-feel the abandoment issues of what my

father did, when he threw in the towel.

I was told in 1992 when he died, that it was because of his diabetes

complications. Until just over 1 yr ago, I found out he shot him self, w/my

mothers gun.

I've come to realize it was so tragic for her, and many other

feelings that go hand in hand w/death. She was mad, hurt, scared,

loneley, and most of all, she lost the love of her life, whom always

took control.

She'd never paid the bills, he did the shopping up till the end, but he didn't

want to be a burden on her any more. Just think for a moment if someone you

loved commited suicide, would you feel relieved that you didn't have to care for

them anymore, or would you feel all the feelings that go hand in hand, by

loosing someone by natural causes?

So when I feel like throwing in the towel, I have to think about whom I leave

behind, the heartache they will feel. My children, how devestating, my spouse.

He hurts for me now, just watchin me struggle every day, and I fight it.

So if or when anyone of you feel like throwing in the towel, remember you are

loved more than you know. I appologize for the legnth of this message, but I

care about all of you or I wouldn't still be in this group of wonderful people

that I care about to call my family, and friends. So keep living your life,

cause they come up w/cures, meds, and all sorts of things to help us all live a

better life.

Bless each and everyone of you, even our very knowledgable moderators

that help lift us up, dirrect us to sites that are so helpful. Please

love yourselves no matter how hard it is sometimes.

Sincerily, Connie Byrns