On face value...

[Guest guest]

On face value some of the things mom does seem innocent. That's what

has always tripped me up. It also is why most observers think I'm

the one with the problem. What happened yesterday is an example.

Mom and dad are over for fathers day and mom and I are in the

kitchen. Mom says to me " I want to ask you something and I hope it

isn't too intrusive " I think " crap, what's this going to be " . Then

she says " when you were in New York did take pictures of the

kids? " . is my mother-in-law. Now, if this question is really

about whether or not (a photographer) took pictures of my

daughter and her cousins, why on earth would the question

be " intrusive " ? Because the question wasn't about photographs, of

course, it was a way of stating a whole conversation about .

You see, we hapened to be in New York for mothers day. The reason we

went to NY was because my husband had reason to be in NY for business

and my daughter and I went along. I lived in NY for 18 years and

some of my closest friends live there and anyone who knows me knows

how much I miss living there. Anyone who knows me knows how I feel

as if I come alive the second I step off the plane at JFK. Anyone

who knows me knows that this is very important to me. We get back to

NY 2-3 times a year which isn't nearly enough for me. Of course when

I told my mom we were going to NY back in May she fired back " so you

can be with for mothers day " ? WTF. Yes, mom, thats it. No

other reason. I feel compelled to be with my mother-in-law on

mothers day beacause this stupid halmark holiday is the most

important day of the year for me.

So anyway, we saw my mother-in-law while we were there but not on

mothers day. My mother found this out and is completely perplexed.

Also, my mother-in-law is going through some changes in her life and

my mother is dying to know what is going on. Not out of concern mind

you, but out of her crazed jealousy. There is a whole history of my

mother doing crazy things regarding my mother-in-law.

But if someone had overheard they would just say " she was only asking

about pictures, whats wrong with you? " .

Then there was when she kept " complementing " me on my skin. She told

me I have " a nice glow from the sun " . I said thank you. Then she

kept staring at me and saying it again and again. On face value, it

is a complement. What's wrong with me that I can't receive a

complement? But it was really her way of zeroing in on my

appearance. She is revolted by my weight (I have been having a huge

problem with it) and every time she sees me she tries to figure out a

way to talk about how " concerned " she is. It is really about how

disgusted she is and how much she wants to " take control " of what I

eat (no kidding...she once offered to take control of what I eat for

me. Whatever the f**k that means given that I'm 38). She stares at

me when I eat, following the food to my mouth with a look of concern

and disgust. And for some strange reason when I'm around her I am

starving and cannot stop eating.

The day ended with her saying to my four year old daughter " you said

you want to visit us next weekend so I hope mommy and daddy will

bring you... " Of course my daughter never said that.

It still gets to me. I wish it didn't but it does.

I'm sorry for rambling on and on...I just had to vent.