another birthday problem....im so upset.

[Guest guest]

I checked my mail today, and NADA sent me a birthday card. Here is

what it says (what was printed in the card):

" Daughter..With each year you have grown, changed, and become more

certain of your place in the world. And now just look at you..a

beautiful heart, a beautiful spirit, a beautiful daughter whose life

is taking flight. Wherever you go in life know that you'll be going

with love " and then she signed it " happy birthday, sara. I love you,

mom: then she drew a SAD FACE.

Lets backtrack a bit shall we? Less than 2 months ago, here are some

random things she wrote to me in an email....

" you are alienating everyone! everyone is shocked by your behavior! "

(referring to the rest of my family).

" I dont know what happened to the Sara with the heart of gold! "

" you have forgotten who you are and where you came from "

" you have made this so bad that it will be impossible to repair "

" YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT THAN ANYONE ELSE THAT HAS TREATED ME LIKE SHIT

IN MY LIFE! IN FACT YOU ARE WORSE! "

" i DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU! i WOULD RATHER DIE FIRST " (she said

this when I offered to help her out with some stuff when she was mad

at me at the last blow out, right before I went NC)

Then there was another quote where she ridiculed me for seeing a

therapist, saying all they do is patronize you, and then in a later

email, she said " you really need help. Maybe a new therapist " ?

I am so livid right now.

I think now would be the time to write her a letter explaining why I

can't have anything to do with her anymore. What do you all think?

Appreciate your insight.

~Sara Jo

[Guest guest]

Hi Sara Jo,

When I went NC, my mother tried to pretend like it

wasn't NC for about a year. She continued to send

email (often) even though I didn't respond. It was

about a year after I went NC that she emailed her

suicide threat (I lived on another continent at the

time). When that didn't work, she finally gave up,

although she would still sometimes send things, like

pictures from my cousin's wedding. Probably she would

still be sending things if she had my current address.

It's her belief that somehow this is just a phase

that I will grow out of. The card your nada sent to

you sounds like a similar ploy.

is

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