Re: Re: up late and in tears

[Guest guest]

Sugar tell Gramma that she raised the b**** and she needs to clean up her own

mess the next time she asks you what you are going to do about your mother, HER

daughter. I have no patience for people who dump on others.

Re: up late and in tears

Reading through these posts I've been thinking to myself that I

really didn't have anything half as bad as many have posted. My

parents were fairly decent but had some " oddities " . Nothing so

traumatic as not being allowed to bathe or being screamed at

frequently. I guess my parents must have been high functioning. They

did other kinds of things... little things like oh, once I remember

practicing for softball [i was a catcher] and my dad made me sit in

my uniform while he threw softballs at my face [i had a mask on] and

I wasn't allowed to catch them or stop them in any way]. That was

his way of being sure I wasn't afraid of the ball. Both my parents

had a martyr syndrome. I often caught my mom reading my diary and

then, when I would get angry, she'd say " Well, you should never write

anything down unless you read it first. " *sigh*

But in public and typically at home, things were fairly normal.

Although I can remember shouting at my mom in pre-teen years about

how she was so " fakey-nice " to my grandparents [her in-laws] when

they came over but she was so mean before and after they were there.

Boy did I get it for that...

The weird thing is that the really " off " behavior didn't start until

I was in my later high school years. And try explaining it to people

then! Especially people in my family. My mom sort of went off the

deep end in January [prompting me to move out and start therapy].

For a good two months I tried to convince my grandmother [her mother]

and my aunt [her younger sister] that something was really wrong but

to no avail. My grandmother actually took to hanging up on me when

I'd call. [she has a cradle phone, one of the old rotaries, and I

would call and leave a message, then call back about ten minutes

later and I'd hear the phone pick up and then drop down, then a

disconnect signal. So I'd call back again, thinking she dropped the

phone and the same thing would happen.] Now my mom is calling them,

showing up at their places, and leaving nasty messages saying nasty

things. When I politely say " I told you so " they throw their hands

up in the air, act as though I couldn't possibly understand or

appreciate the trouble this is causing in *their* lives, and then go

on and on about how they're too busy or too old [73] to take care of

this themselves. My aunt is a little more supportive, she keeps

saying, " Just keep living your life and let her worry about hers. "

but my grandmother! UGH! She keeps asking me what *I'M* going to do

to fix this issue for her. So much for being the great matriarch of

the family.

> > > > >

> > > > > Hi Abbi

> > > > > Sometimes I feel that the pain will lessen but never go

> away.

> > > > Somebody asked " will this ever go away? " I wish it would but

> given

> > > > the love in my heart, I don't think so. I could never not

love

> my

> > > > mother for being my mother, and at the same time not like her

> for

> > > > being how she is. Strange this illness that we call BPD, for

> me

> > > it's

> > > > a sickness of sensibility, I relate to much that you all say,

> > > though

> > > > I think mine was what is termed a " high fonctioning mother "

> god

> > > how I

> > > > hate terms. We never had the shower problem, it was the

> opposite,

> > > had

> > > > to be superclean so the neighbours would see what a wonderful

> > > mother

> > > > she was, we were always well dressed, but only as she thought

> > > best,

> > > > gosh I feel like such a bad daughter talking bad about her,

> > > forgive

> > > > me, even here it's difficult. Does anyone else feel that they

> need

> > > to

> > > > comunicate from a point of compassion, I'm having a lot of

> > > problems

> > > > venting.

> > > > > TC

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >